(no subject)
i haven't had such turbulent times since last November, which was when i had probably the most problematic two weeks of my life.
i've maintained a happy state since then, up until now.
all i know is i'm already coming out of it and it was much less emotionally straining this time around than last time
probably because last time i learned how to deal with turmoil.
i have noticed a slight sense of depression lately, and it could be formed from the lack of sun slash receiving my first time of neglect from someone i truly thought was going to be monumental. Either way, i'm finding it hard to reach my constant state of [nearly] mania,
but maybe being happy all the time isn't all it's cracked up to be. i sometimes feel as if my life seems a bit .. out of focus
like i can't accept that there are things that aren't worth me being happy over.
i can't decipher between the meaning of this; Am i good at dealing with life, or terrible? Is my eternal optimism really a short-coming?
all these questions surfacing, and
they constantly enthrall me.
i've maintained a happy state since then, up until now.
all i know is i'm already coming out of it and it was much less emotionally straining this time around than last time
probably because last time i learned how to deal with turmoil.
i have noticed a slight sense of depression lately, and it could be formed from the lack of sun slash receiving my first time of neglect from someone i truly thought was going to be monumental. Either way, i'm finding it hard to reach my constant state of [nearly] mania,
but maybe being happy all the time isn't all it's cracked up to be. i sometimes feel as if my life seems a bit .. out of focus
like i can't accept that there are things that aren't worth me being happy over.
i can't decipher between the meaning of this; Am i good at dealing with life, or terrible? Is my eternal optimism really a short-coming?
all these questions surfacing, and
they constantly enthrall me.