(no subject)
6 days before I leave for La Verne and i'm hella excited to start this new chapter of my life. I just have this overwhelming feeling of happiness, knowing that i'm going to be meeting amazing people and doing some amazing things. maybe meet the man of my dreams? *sigh* I can only hope. shit, i'm such a girl...
these past 2 weeks have just been non-stop parties every night. me being drunk off my ass each time, hung over and sleeping the next day and partying again. pretty much a toxic cycle. and i don't care. i've cared way too much for way too long. I guess this is just me getting everything off my chest, being free, not having to think about petty shit or being insecure because i'm leaving and won't be seeing 90% of these people ever again. and that's comforting. This desert holds so many memories for me. This summer in particular. i've done a lot of growing up in many ways. this whole year/moving here spawned a lot of self-discovery yet completely hindered my creative energy. maybe because my priorities were wrong, and have been wrong for awhile. it's funny to think of the person i was last year at this time. someone so different in so many ways.
Today I shall go pick up my friend Danielle from Riverside and then Friday I have to go to La Verne to meet with my counselor and get all my classes. I took the placement testing last week and surprisingly scored relatively high in math. pretty good for not dealing with numbers since my Junior Year. And I scored the highest on English possible. Yes! I also made friends with the Placement testing advisor. We just randomly started talking about politics and those who know me know I get really fire up. Well anyway, he theen proceeds to tell me that he is the professor of the peace politics course (which is kind of an environmental/green party centered course) that is already full but he would write me a note because he would be "honored" to have me in his class. Needless to say, i was ecstatic.
Started packing, sorting through pictures, clothes, CD's, old notes from middle school haha. In many ways it is very comfortin to get rid of alot of these things...not to necessarily forget the memories but to move on, knowing that they will still be there. they'll never leave. but by leaving them behind there is now more room for the new memories i will create.
Wow, this was a long entry. i need to write more often. love to you all.
these past 2 weeks have just been non-stop parties every night. me being drunk off my ass each time, hung over and sleeping the next day and partying again. pretty much a toxic cycle. and i don't care. i've cared way too much for way too long. I guess this is just me getting everything off my chest, being free, not having to think about petty shit or being insecure because i'm leaving and won't be seeing 90% of these people ever again. and that's comforting. This desert holds so many memories for me. This summer in particular. i've done a lot of growing up in many ways. this whole year/moving here spawned a lot of self-discovery yet completely hindered my creative energy. maybe because my priorities were wrong, and have been wrong for awhile. it's funny to think of the person i was last year at this time. someone so different in so many ways.
Today I shall go pick up my friend Danielle from Riverside and then Friday I have to go to La Verne to meet with my counselor and get all my classes. I took the placement testing last week and surprisingly scored relatively high in math. pretty good for not dealing with numbers since my Junior Year. And I scored the highest on English possible. Yes! I also made friends with the Placement testing advisor. We just randomly started talking about politics and those who know me know I get really fire up. Well anyway, he theen proceeds to tell me that he is the professor of the peace politics course (which is kind of an environmental/green party centered course) that is already full but he would write me a note because he would be "honored" to have me in his class. Needless to say, i was ecstatic.
Started packing, sorting through pictures, clothes, CD's, old notes from middle school haha. In many ways it is very comfortin to get rid of alot of these things...not to necessarily forget the memories but to move on, knowing that they will still be there. they'll never leave. but by leaving them behind there is now more room for the new memories i will create.
Wow, this was a long entry. i need to write more often. love to you all.