Hi, I'm just a passing stranger but an enthusiastic breastfeeder so felt impelled to add my twopennorth - feel free to ignore :0)
I'm not sure how old the baby is but when they are very new sometimes the instinct to hold them yourself over-rides the more rational approach of letting someone else take over so you can sleep. People suggesting otherwise seem like Gollum trying to take your precious in the midst of the sleepless hormonal chaos :0) For the first two weeks of my son's life I got about an hour a night if I was lucky. If your friend is feeling this way maybe ask her about co-sleeping. You can breastfeed lying down. It's controversial but there's loads on info on line for and against, for her to make an informed decision about it - it really helped me, and we still sleep with my son who is approaching three (and still feeding !).
Second, breastfeeding or pumping is different for everyone. My son was constantly at the breast because he only actually drank in little ten minute bursts, but wanted to comfort suck the rest of the time. I never really had a let down because it was just constant.Until he was eleven months he took all his naps at the breast too. Most literature emulates the bottle feeding regime of three hourly feeds or whatever it is but I should think the majority of babies do their own thing. I found using a sling really helpful; that way the baby can feed at will and feel secure but you can go about your business.
Not sure where you are but in the UK we have the Breastfeeding Network and the La Leche league which are great resources for breastfeeding, and the Slingmeet and Natural Mama forum are good too. It's such a shame that most women give up on breastfeeding early on. It's really rewarding and such a lovely bond between you & your child :0)
Oh don't be shy about replying, I'm happy to hear from someone with experience!
The baby is just ten days old today. I do think she's got the idea that no one else can care for that baby right and leaving him alone for an hour is unconscionable, no matter how many kids the sitter may have raised. So there's hope she'll relax a bit in the future, before she falls over?
I'm going to send her what you wrote about the sling and etc, that might work for her. We're in the US, and there has got to be some kind of nursing support groups here she can talk to. I hate for her to give up so soon, but she's worried he's not getting enough to drink. Do woman supplement with formula sometimes, or is that bad?
Wow that is a new baby ! She's still buzzing full of hormones from the birth.
I can only speak from my own experience and I am a real hippy mum which isn't for everyone ! I think every mother/child relationship is different. Both my boy and I are very clingy so I have never left him with anyone apart from my husband, and then only briefly. Her baby is so new that really she's right - the best place for him is with his mum. I once heard a very wise old (hippy !)woman say that pregnancy is actually 18 months - 9 inside the body and 9 being held in the arms. The best support you can give is to make sure that everything else is taken care of so she can relax with her child. My husband used to make me a packed lunch and a bottle of water, and leave my breakfast out in the kitchen :0)I would definitely get her to consider the sling option if she's feeling like she doesn't want to put him down for a second. It's a natural in-built feeling to ensure we don't just abandon newborns I reckon.
There are a lot of choices with feeding. I fed on demand without expressing which is quite tough until you get used to it, but ensures that the baby drinks whenever he wants to instead of at specific feeding times maximising weight gain. Some people supplement with formula at the start and then go onto breastfeed exclusively, some mix the two especially if they have to work. I didn't want to try formula - even though I was told my baby wasn't putting on weight fast enough in the first two weeks, because I didn't want him confused by the different sucking needed for breast & bottle, and because you produce milk in accordance with supply so a hungry baby fed on demand increases your flow. I didn't settle down with it fully until around 8 weeks.
My breastfeeding councilor told me that in the UK most health professionals use weight charts that are based on the weight gain of a formula fed child, when breastfed babies put on weight more slowly and steadily and generally weigh slightly less. They are also less prone to child hood obesity and better protected against disease :0) My health visitor really pressured me to try formula and it was hard to resist but I'm very glad I did.
Basically there are no rights or wrongs to it - there are plenty of happy healthy formula fed kids around. I have just so enjoyed the closer bond and other benefits that breastfeeding and co-sleeping and slinging brought to our relationship. So much of parenting today focuses on "getting your life back" and getting he child independent of you, whereas I would be inclined to revel in the baby and give it everything you can for as long as you can. The tiny stage flies by so fast - it doesn't seem like it at the time but one day you turn around and they're 3 years old and you're like WTF ?? I found my local feeding support group wonderful and still go there to help out new mums and chat to other wierdos who are committed to long term feeding :0)If she can find similar peer support it will probably help a good deal.
I'm just a passing stranger but an enthusiastic breastfeeder so felt impelled to add my twopennorth - feel free to ignore :0)
I'm not sure how old the baby is but when they are very new sometimes the instinct to hold them yourself over-rides the more rational approach of letting someone else take over so you can sleep. People suggesting otherwise seem like Gollum trying to take your precious in the midst of the sleepless hormonal chaos :0) For the first two weeks of my son's life I got about an hour a night if I was lucky. If your friend is feeling this way maybe ask her about co-sleeping. You can breastfeed lying down. It's controversial but there's loads on info on line for and against, for her to make an informed decision about it - it really helped me, and we still sleep with my son who is approaching three (and still feeding !).
Second, breastfeeding or pumping is different for everyone. My son was constantly at the breast because he only actually drank in little ten minute bursts, but wanted to comfort suck the rest of the time. I never really had a let down because it was just constant.Until he was eleven months he took all his naps at the breast too. Most literature emulates the bottle feeding regime of three hourly feeds or whatever it is but I should think the majority of babies do their own thing. I found using a sling really helpful; that way the baby can feed at will and feel secure but you can go about your business.
Not sure where you are but in the UK we have the Breastfeeding Network and the La Leche league which are great resources for breastfeeding, and the Slingmeet and Natural Mama forum are good too. It's such a shame that most women give up on breastfeeding early on. It's really rewarding and such a lovely bond between you & your child :0)
Reply
The baby is just ten days old today. I do think she's got the idea that no one else can care for that baby right and leaving him alone for an hour is unconscionable, no matter how many kids the sitter may have raised. So there's hope she'll relax a bit in the future, before she falls over?
I'm going to send her what you wrote about the sling and etc, that might work for her. We're in the US, and there has got to be some kind of nursing support groups here she can talk to. I hate for her to give up so soon, but she's worried he's not getting enough to drink. Do woman supplement with formula sometimes, or is that bad?
Reply
I can only speak from my own experience and I am a real hippy mum which isn't for everyone ! I think every mother/child relationship is different. Both my boy and I are very clingy so I have never left him with anyone apart from my husband, and then only briefly. Her baby is so new that really she's right - the best place for him is with his mum. I once heard a very wise old (hippy !)woman say that pregnancy is actually 18 months - 9 inside the body and 9 being held in the arms. The best support you can give is to make sure that everything else is taken care of so she can relax with her child. My husband used to make me a packed lunch and a bottle of water, and leave my breakfast out in the kitchen :0)I would definitely get her to consider the sling option if she's feeling like she doesn't want to put him down for a second. It's a natural in-built feeling to ensure we don't just abandon newborns I reckon.
There are a lot of choices with feeding. I fed on demand without expressing which is quite tough until you get used to it, but ensures that the baby drinks whenever he wants to instead of at specific feeding times maximising weight gain. Some people supplement with formula at the start and then go onto breastfeed exclusively, some mix the two especially if they have to work. I didn't want to try formula - even though I was told my baby wasn't putting on weight fast enough in the first two weeks, because I didn't want him confused by the different sucking needed for breast & bottle, and because you produce milk in accordance with supply so a hungry baby fed on demand increases your flow. I didn't settle down with it fully until around 8 weeks.
My breastfeeding councilor told me that in the UK most health professionals use weight charts that are based on the weight gain of a formula fed child, when breastfed babies put on weight more slowly and steadily and generally weigh slightly less. They are also less prone to child hood obesity and better protected against disease :0) My health visitor really pressured me to try formula and it was hard to resist but I'm very glad I did.
Basically there are no rights or wrongs to it - there are plenty of happy healthy formula fed kids around. I have just so enjoyed the closer bond and other benefits that breastfeeding and co-sleeping and slinging brought to our relationship. So much of parenting today focuses on "getting your life back" and getting he child independent of you, whereas I would be inclined to revel in the baby and give it everything you can for as long as you can. The tiny stage flies by so fast - it doesn't seem like it at the time but one day you turn around and they're 3 years old and you're like WTF ?? I found my local feeding support group wonderful and still go there to help out new mums and chat to other wierdos who are committed to long term feeding :0)If she can find similar peer support it will probably help a good deal.
Reply
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