(no subject)
Hey everyone! long time no write huh? Well I just wanted to stop by and let everyone know whats going on. Right now I'm getting a little tired of the routine at work which makes it hard for me to be as good at customer service as I would like to be, plus my boss boss had a family tragedy so she's taken a week off of work and we are already short handed. But we actually seem to be doing ok. I just feel really bad for her. I know that this is kinda her personal business but what happened was that her sister who was living with her at the time, while my boss was at work, she out of nowhere had a bad seizure and she was admitted to the hospital. And my boss says that she was always healthy never had anything wrong with her but when they did some tests they found out that she had something like meningococcal meningitis (which is basically swelling of the brain)but what she had was more serious and I believe uncurable or treatable, something like that.Anyways it was affecting her brain so that at different times she didn't recognize people she had known all her life and she was having trouble talking at all. Eventually they said that she might end up, if she does not die living her whole life not as a vegetable, but mentally handicap for the rest of her life. In the end though she died. What makes it even more sad is that my boss said that she was just finishing her schooling to become something she's been wanting to be all her life, and it just came out of nowhere, all that hard work amounted to nothing in the end. very, very, sad. Other than that I have been finding it hard to concentrate on things lately making it harder for me to do my job effectively although most people would just blame this on my usual forgetfulness I know that it is not just that. I have been missing timmy alot lately. Because I love the way I feel with him, he makes me feel whole. Not because I myself am not a whole person but because when I am with him I feel like I actually belong there, I fit in. And believe it or not I have had very few times in my life where I felt like I actually and truely fit in. Inside I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Thats why sometimes I make friends with people who are more excepting of just about anyone (kinda like the group) because there is less chance of being rejected but also because inside I feel like I am not good enough and I feel like when people look at me, sometimes all they see is either how fat I am, or they can see all my flaws, and see that inside, I am not all the I appear to be, and I will never be enough. Well I just wanted to get that all off my chest. Alot of times I really have no one to talk to even about simple things that may mean something to me. I feel alone alot of the time and I am only happy to have timmy and to know that if I needed to or even just wanted to, that I could talk to him anytime, and he never looks down on me or thinks I'm weak if I cry even though I feel that I am. So thank you so very much baby, for always being here for me. I'm so lucky to have someone to give me their time and to love me as much as he does. well... thats all for today, I hope that you all are doing well, I love you all. ttyl. :)