Fic: There Is No 'I' ... 1/11
There is no ‘I’…
Chapter 1
Tony blinked against the white haze in his eyes and flinched away from the electric buzzing near his right ear.
“Don’t.” He fought to keep it a command rather than a plea, but was sure he failed when a low gloating chuckle preceded a response.
“Just hearing you beg is gonna make my month you know that Anthony?” Firm hands anchored his head in place, pressing Tony’s cheekbone so hard he suspected they might snap. “Now hold still Baby, this is gonna sting.”
He twisted and fought, pulling at the restraining hands, but it didn’t matter. Cold metal pressed to his temple, three points of fire beginning to bore their way towards his mind and Tony screamed out his helplessness and rage, hoping that the others would hear him. Hoping they’d be in time.
*****
24 Hours Earlier.
Iron Man circled the towing skyscraper, enjoying the aerial view of Manhattan on a clear day, knocking back the insects with repulsor shots and calculating the possibility of Thor accidentally frying his ass with lightning in the next thirty seconds.
“Unlikely, Sir. We have enhanced the armor with the Ukona weather array mesh. It should resist all electrical emissions…” JARVIS explained. Again.
“Yeah, yeah. But we never researched the difference between natural…” Tony ducked to avoid a wasp the size of a bus,” ...lightening and Mythical Norse God of Thunder Lightening. Take readings.” He still couldn’t get a view into the penthouse, but could imagine the battle going on inside. Romonoff would be felling guards like a particularly petite red-haired woodsman without the plaid. Clint was supposed to stay in the lobby, but being Clint wouldn’t and the Captain…well, Tony wasn’t going to dwell on the attractions of Captain America while dodging lightening and whatever those eight legged green things were that looked like something fatal from Australia.
“Taking all possible scans and readings on the electricity generated by the hammer, Sir. May I suggest that this battle has taken longer than projected and that the team inside the Wallenguard Building is meeting greater than expected resistance?” There was just the slightest kernel of concern lacing the A.I’s voice. Tony suspected he had a crush on the Black Widow.
Grinning he boosted around to the north face of the seemingly normal building and hovered outside the fifty-ninth floor windows.
“JARVIS, you can be as suggestive as you want.” And considering he’d been created by Tony Stark that was likely pretty damn suggestive. “Still can’t get past the funky windows?”
“No Sir. Satellite transmissions, infra-red all unable to…”
“Cool.” Tony fired twin repulsors at the gleaming surface and watched toughened class rain down on the dozen startled women conducting an occult ritual within. “Tell me they’re the ones doing the bug thing and I didn’t just interrupt a perfectly legal Wiccan get together.”
“You are safe from prosecution, Sir. They are indeed responsible for the ‘bug thing’.”
The billowing red cape in the corner of his eye had Tony adjusting his angle for wind shear as Thor pulled up beside him. “The wasps are retreating.” The massive blond informed him as the rest of the Avengers broke down the penthouse door. A red, white and blue figure began a kind of violent dance with the blood drenched cult leader. For a ‘non-combative with supernatural powers’ the woman was doing remarkably well against the nigh unmatched hand-to-hand skill of Captain America. What Tony loathed to face in an Avengers training session was being demonstrably successful in the penthouse. Cap’s sharp kick and two punches in quick succession had her almost running backwards, broken bones averted only by the man’s need to subdue and what must be ‘magic’ protection.
“I didn’t think he’d hit a woman,” Tony commented. He could target the rest of the sect, but Fury had insisted this mission have no fatalities and Iron Man wasn’t great at pulling his punches, hence wasp dodging. “You know, too much the gentleman.”
Thor watched for another few seconds. “Our Captain is sworn to destroy evil; I do not think a softer form will deter him from his mission.”
Given that the cult leader had just raked Cap’s face with some razor sharp nails and Tony was pretty sure that was human entrails around her wrist, he was inclined to agree. “Don’t let Romonoff hear you say ‘softer’ or you’ll lose some teeth. God or not.”
The battle continued. Thor’s grip on his hammer tightening as their companions began to gain the upper hand.
“Ouch.” Because yeah, shield to knees would hurt like a bitch. Blood stained mouth wide, robes askew the cult leader threw one last curse at Captain America and stumbled towards the windows Tony had just so recently shattered.
Tony wondered if he and Thor looked like a very ugly synchronized diving team as they hurtled to stop the death plunge going on before them. Latching onto an ankle, Iron Man pulled into a wide arc so he wouldn’t break any bones and turned to see the rest of the cultists follow their leader out the forty story window.
“Oh fuck me.” Tony cursed.
*****
Tony had allowed the Avengers Initiative six months, one year at the outside, before he became mind-numbingly bored with the whole idea. This was before SHEILD had allocated considerable sums and political favors to Stark Industries for Tony’s ‘consultations’, some of these included tech upgrade requests, bleeding edge software development and Fury’s request for “a flying aircraft carrier, if it’s not too much trouble”. Near drowning in schematics and designs, Fury had then introduced him to the other superheroes and the increasing level of hotness each displayed.
Then there were the giant bugs.
Several hours after the cleanup at the Midtown office building, Tony nodded his thanks to Jarvis and pressed the iced drink to his forehead. Edwin Jarvis was a much a part of the Stark mansion in New York as the priceless antiques he so loved to collect. Tony considered them Jarvis’ property and despite objections had allocated a small fortune to the man to increase, maintain and curate the collection. Much like Pepper and her modern art thing, but with turned legs.
“Can I get you something to eat Master Anthony?” Jarvis the man was far more deferential than JARVIS the AI and Tony was almost glad he hadn’t been able to reproduce the voice perfectly. Running away to the other side of the country, he hadn’t the heart to steal the man from his home, so an artificial copy had been the answer. Tony was used to making his friends…literally.
But whenever the Avengers were in New York, which was a lot, they stayed at the mansion under Jarvis’ dignified eye.
“Thank you, no.” Years of ingrained respect and love for the man gave Tony manners all but Rhodey were astonished to hear. “I want to go back to L.A.” He groused to Natasha. “There are no suicide cults in Malibu, only suicide blondes.”
Agent Romonoff didn’t look up from the tablet she was typing her report onto. “You’re going back next week for a shareholder meeting while we go to Paris.”
He glanced to Pepper for confirmation, realized Pepper was still in L.A. running Stark Industries, and dropped his forehead to his beautiful French polished dining table.
Tony didn’t look up as Fury and Cap came in for the mission debrief, he’d seen the deep gouges running along a perfect cheekbone as Iron Man ferried the cultists to the SHIELD team on the street. Captain America had shot him one frosty baby blue glare then returned to his discussion with the NYPD.
If he was going to get his ass reamed by Steve Rogers, he’d rather it be in a thousand count cotton sheet way than a ‘you messed up, fella’ way.
“Well done people.” Smooth voice, New York native crossed with years in Europe. “I think we can call this one a success despite…”
“Despite genius over there blowing out a window so the crazy chicks could kill themselves.” Clint Barton wasn’t a fan of Tony. The feeling was mutual. Tony suspected both of them being shot down by Natasha within a week probably had something to do with it…as well as twin man-crushes on Cap.
“We caught them all.” Tony pointed out, lifting up to look at the archer.
It really wasn’t fair on his libido that all the superheroes in the Avengers were blistering hot blonds and one deadly red-head. He’d been having enough trouble keeping his hands off Rhodey and Pepper.
God, he really needed to get laid.
“Iron Man was attempting to discover if your part of the mission was going according to plan.” Thor spoke concisely, arms crossed over his chest. “The sorceries enacted were stopping the communication devices and the plague of insects unrelenting. Iron Man’s action distracted the cult leader sufficiently to allow you to enter the sanctum and caused the wasps to retreat.”
Tony saw the surprised looks on Clint and Natasha’s faces and caught the twitch of a smile from Cap.
“What he said.” Tony pointed at Thor.