(no subject)
I'm unhappy right now, and theres no apparent reason, other then the fact its still winterish and i get more depressed in winter, however its been beautiful the past few days and I've still been uphappy. However instead of looking inside myself for reasons why i'm unhappy i'm looking to place the blame on people and normally that falls on the person closest to me and of course right now thats nick. Thats not fair I can't expect him to make me happy when I'm not happy with myself.
Part of it is that i'm stressed out with his situation right now, I know hes not happy and I want to fix that. And part of me is being immediatly selfish in the fact that he is potentially moving. I know I'm jumping 800 steps ahead and we don't know if its even happening yet, however thats just kind of how my mind works. I know I need to take a step back and look at things one step at a time. Is him moving all bad? Not really its better for me espically if he moves to the milwaukee area because I don't want to stay in Iowa for the rest of my life. It changings my plans some but I need to become a little more flexible to roll with things.
Part of my problem is I'm working too hard to make him happy and not enough to make myself happy. Sometimes I wish there was a little more give on his side and he was a little less selfish (of course I wouldn't tell him that) but I need to just take myself and put myself number one. There needs to be a blance between the time I spend over there and the time I have alone, because I sometimes just need time to myself. Which was half my problem today. Its been my problem latley and if this is to go the long term we can't spend every waking minute together.
I need to do some productive things today . . .
Part of it is that i'm stressed out with his situation right now, I know hes not happy and I want to fix that. And part of me is being immediatly selfish in the fact that he is potentially moving. I know I'm jumping 800 steps ahead and we don't know if its even happening yet, however thats just kind of how my mind works. I know I need to take a step back and look at things one step at a time. Is him moving all bad? Not really its better for me espically if he moves to the milwaukee area because I don't want to stay in Iowa for the rest of my life. It changings my plans some but I need to become a little more flexible to roll with things.
Part of my problem is I'm working too hard to make him happy and not enough to make myself happy. Sometimes I wish there was a little more give on his side and he was a little less selfish (of course I wouldn't tell him that) but I need to just take myself and put myself number one. There needs to be a blance between the time I spend over there and the time I have alone, because I sometimes just need time to myself. Which was half my problem today. Its been my problem latley and if this is to go the long term we can't spend every waking minute together.
I need to do some productive things today . . .