WoW: Why do the Drama Mamas have an advice column?
Drama Mamas made a list called "40 Things You Should Never Say In Game." Most are all right, but I've got a quibble with a few.
"No, really, guys - it's my MOM calling." Same story. If you really can't miss your call from Mom, you really shouldn't be logged in to a group activity.
Hey, guess what? My mother calls any damn time she wants. I can't plan around it. And if I tell her to only call between X and Y hours or say I'll call her back in ten minutes, she gets upset and it causes drama. People I raid with or run instances with have never taken an issue to this, especially if it's a guild and I explain my mother's medical issues.
If my grown-ass nearly 32 year-old self can't plan around parental phone calls, I sure as hell won't begrudge Random Player C for saying, "Oh, my mother's calling. BRB 2 min."
"Baby woke up, AFK BRB!" I know. We wish you had more time to play, too. Still, don't group unless you have someone else around to take point duty with the kids.
As a formerly single mother: FUCK. YOU. Some of us players don't have someone around, or if we do, they're only around at hours we can't play. Some couple work swing shifts, or have dynamic schedules where they can't really do anything consistently. Hell, I have someone around to help me tend to my no-longer-an-infant child, and still sometimes I have to say, "BRB kid aggro." Just last night, we had someone say, "Baby woke up and was looking for mommy," in the middle of a raid right before a boss pull. And you know what? Nobody said anything and we were all cool about it. Know why? Because we're reasonable human being and most of us have been there.
Being parents doesn't mean we can't play, and I know more than one WoW Mother who mastered holding the baby in her lap while playing. And I remember how lonely it was to be a single mom and not have anyone around at night. Having a game like WoW would have been a tremendous help back then, and it is I'll never forget how awesome my IRC and FFRPG friends were to me, and how much having that little bit of socialization helped me not to feel as lonely or isolated. And none of them ever said boo about me needing the occasional AFK.
"Dude, I'm busy. You have to stop whispering me now." OK, you might actually end up needing this line for a particularly persistent pest. But try this first: "The stuff I run with this character now makes it really hard to chat when I'm playing. Sorry, gotta run ..."
No, just no. I'm a nice person, but most people on my friends list look to see where I'm at before whispering me. And sometimes, there are people who won't be nice, who don't understand how boundaries work. I'm tired that being blunt over text is seen as some gigantic social faux pas, especially when it comes to women. Yes, I know this wasn't directed at solely women, but don't tell me they don't often get, "Well, geeze, you don't have to be such a bitch about it." In real life too, we establish boundaries and we're horrible people for doing so. I don't have to be nice if someone is interfering with something I'm doing. I've yet to lose any friends over it when I've had to be blunt, and I do follow it up with a, "Hey, sorry about that, but I was being swarmed by murlocs."
Invariably, however, I usually get a, "Oh man, sorry, didn't see you were in [Instance/Raid]. Have fun!"
"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe..." No playing music into Vent. No maybe about it.
Says the group who never got to share an awesome Journey moment in raid before.
Just a lonely girl, livin' in a lonely world...
"We don't have to worry about rules. Drama never happens in our guild." /facepalm Simple rules like "No harrassment" and "Keep it PG-13" will help if drama does happen. Better to be prepared.
Simple rules won't prevent that. Rules that clearly outline what harassment is, what hate speech is, and a clear procedure for what steps are taken to address infractions. If you just say "No harassment," some asshole will say, "I didn't know that constituted harassment." And if you say, "You can't do X," you need to be able to know what to do when someone does do X. I can't stress how much this is a must if you plan to have a guild larger than just you and a few close friends.
You know what I didn't see on the list that should be? "Dude, I'm so baked right now." This happened to me the other night after a couple of deaths and one wipe thanks to the tank being stoned in an Hour of Twilight instance. But no, someone tending to their child is more aggravating and evil than someone doing illicit substances that alter their ability to play the game.
(And hey, I don't care if you smoke a bowl, but for fuck's sake, don't do that and leave me with a huge repair bill because you can't take a second to move out of the fucking fire.)
This entry was originally posted at http://jadedmusings.dreamwidth.org/719106.html. You may comment here or there using OpenID.
"No, really, guys - it's my MOM calling." Same story. If you really can't miss your call from Mom, you really shouldn't be logged in to a group activity.
Hey, guess what? My mother calls any damn time she wants. I can't plan around it. And if I tell her to only call between X and Y hours or say I'll call her back in ten minutes, she gets upset and it causes drama. People I raid with or run instances with have never taken an issue to this, especially if it's a guild and I explain my mother's medical issues.
If my grown-ass nearly 32 year-old self can't plan around parental phone calls, I sure as hell won't begrudge Random Player C for saying, "Oh, my mother's calling. BRB 2 min."
"Baby woke up, AFK BRB!" I know. We wish you had more time to play, too. Still, don't group unless you have someone else around to take point duty with the kids.
As a formerly single mother: FUCK. YOU. Some of us players don't have someone around, or if we do, they're only around at hours we can't play. Some couple work swing shifts, or have dynamic schedules where they can't really do anything consistently. Hell, I have someone around to help me tend to my no-longer-an-infant child, and still sometimes I have to say, "BRB kid aggro." Just last night, we had someone say, "Baby woke up and was looking for mommy," in the middle of a raid right before a boss pull. And you know what? Nobody said anything and we were all cool about it. Know why? Because we're reasonable human being and most of us have been there.
Being parents doesn't mean we can't play, and I know more than one WoW Mother who mastered holding the baby in her lap while playing. And I remember how lonely it was to be a single mom and not have anyone around at night. Having a game like WoW would have been a tremendous help back then, and it is I'll never forget how awesome my IRC and FFRPG friends were to me, and how much having that little bit of socialization helped me not to feel as lonely or isolated. And none of them ever said boo about me needing the occasional AFK.
"Dude, I'm busy. You have to stop whispering me now." OK, you might actually end up needing this line for a particularly persistent pest. But try this first: "The stuff I run with this character now makes it really hard to chat when I'm playing. Sorry, gotta run ..."
No, just no. I'm a nice person, but most people on my friends list look to see where I'm at before whispering me. And sometimes, there are people who won't be nice, who don't understand how boundaries work. I'm tired that being blunt over text is seen as some gigantic social faux pas, especially when it comes to women. Yes, I know this wasn't directed at solely women, but don't tell me they don't often get, "Well, geeze, you don't have to be such a bitch about it." In real life too, we establish boundaries and we're horrible people for doing so. I don't have to be nice if someone is interfering with something I'm doing. I've yet to lose any friends over it when I've had to be blunt, and I do follow it up with a, "Hey, sorry about that, but I was being swarmed by murlocs."
Invariably, however, I usually get a, "Oh man, sorry, didn't see you were in [Instance/Raid]. Have fun!"
"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe..." No playing music into Vent. No maybe about it.
Says the group who never got to share an awesome Journey moment in raid before.
Just a lonely girl, livin' in a lonely world...
"We don't have to worry about rules. Drama never happens in our guild." /facepalm Simple rules like "No harrassment" and "Keep it PG-13" will help if drama does happen. Better to be prepared.
Simple rules won't prevent that. Rules that clearly outline what harassment is, what hate speech is, and a clear procedure for what steps are taken to address infractions. If you just say "No harassment," some asshole will say, "I didn't know that constituted harassment." And if you say, "You can't do X," you need to be able to know what to do when someone does do X. I can't stress how much this is a must if you plan to have a guild larger than just you and a few close friends.
You know what I didn't see on the list that should be? "Dude, I'm so baked right now." This happened to me the other night after a couple of deaths and one wipe thanks to the tank being stoned in an Hour of Twilight instance. But no, someone tending to their child is more aggravating and evil than someone doing illicit substances that alter their ability to play the game.
(And hey, I don't care if you smoke a bowl, but for fuck's sake, don't do that and leave me with a huge repair bill because you can't take a second to move out of the fucking fire.)
This entry was originally posted at http://jadedmusings.dreamwidth.org/719106.html. You may comment here or there using OpenID.