Wherein I go off on a tangent and seem to lose my point...
While reading Shakesville, I came across this article regarding a contest for game designers. The contest was won by two women, which anyone who knows anything about the gaming industry will tell you is quite amazing as women are woefully underrepresented. However, before you start cheering, read the very first sentence of the article:
"In an industry dominated by men, leave it to women to come up with the winning idea in a contest to create a concept for a video game about losing one's virginity."
And we're off... *sighs*
On Wednesday, at the Game Developers Conference here, the two-woman team of Heather Kelley and Erin Robinson won the Game Design Challenge with just 36 hours of preparation, while their competitors had weeks to come up with concepts for a game about "your first time."
Is the well of ideas so dry that this is the best they could come up with? What is this obsession with the first time? I don't know about the rest of you, but my first time wasn't anything spectacular. No, it wasn't awful, and it wasn't traumatizing, it simply wasn't great. Of all the moments in my sexual history I might want to look back on, losing my virginity is near bottom of the list - even lower than some makeout sessions I had with my high school boyfriend.
I understand that sex is special, amazing, and wonderful. I've even gone so far as to say that, for me, sex can be sacred act. However, why must the first time be so perfect? Why must it be, dare I say, a religious experience? Putting the focus on losing one's virginity (or on perserving virginity for that matter) takes away from the fact that the majority of people who have sex will have it again, and again. It completely ignores that sex after your first time can still be amazing, spiritual, or just plain fun no matter how many times you do it. Yet, all anyone ever wants to focus on is that very first time.
The article went on to describe the winning concept:
Kelley began by explaining that her game would commence with the player having to pick an outfit for a date that was intended to conclude with their deflowering. It would have to be the least complicated outfit possible, she said, nothing with zippers that get stuck, or too many buttons or ties. [Emphasis added]
I can't really add much to this other than I really freaking hate the term "deflowering." My vagina is a body part, not a flower. Though if you really want to keep referring to it as a flower, let's use better terms. A penis will hereafter be referred to as a stamen and the vagina will be a pistil. (Hello, Harlequin writers, need some new euphamisms? Here you go.)
Then, there would be a mini game in which players would have to shave their legs, making especially sure not to miss the all-important spot "by the knees." Next up, dinner, and making sure to remove all the garlic from the meals, something the main character--clearly a female, since the game was presented from a woman's perspective--would have to do because of the general cluelessness of the boyfriend in question.
I'm not sure I could ever count everything that's wrong with this paragraph. A woman absolutely must do everything possible to make herself fuckable; from picking out the perfect outfit to shaving her legs. (Teehee, let's not forget to get all those pesky body hairs, girls!) It's a woman's job to plan for dinner, and you better remember not to let anyone have stinky breath! The boyfriend is completely useless in all of this as he's only there to "deflower" the girl. He can barely operate a zipper let alone plan a romantic dinner for his girlfriend. Oh, those silly men-children! We women have to do everything.
Yes, I've dressed up for dates I knew would end up in the bedroom, and in the interest of full disclosure, I am a woman who shaves. However, I do these things because I'm getting something out of it. I enjoy dressing up, and I happen to like the way my legs feel after a close shave, but none of these things are expected of me. I've had sex after wearing torn up jeans and a stained t-shirt. I've had sex when I hadn't been near a razor in a few days. I've even had sex at times when I probably should have gargled a bit of Listerine beforehand. Granted, those weren't necessarily my first time, either, but my point is that I've had sex without any prep work beforehand. In fact, that's part of what annoys me most about all this "first time" nonsense. Not everyone goes into their first time knowing it's going to be their first time. My first time was pretty much looking at my boyfriend after a few hours of making out and going, "So, do you think we should, um, do it?" His nervous response was, "Yes," and then there was lots of fumbling and...well, that's a bit personal, but I will say the experience was anything but magical and rather disappointing.
To me, there's only so many ways you can spin losing your virginity. I'd like to see a game that's not just about sex, but about dating in general. There'd be the awkward making out where you have to fend off a man whose breath reeks and who seems to have thing for sucking on your nose (swear to deity, this happened to me - mmm, nostrils). There'd be the guy who likes to bite a little too much and nearly chews your lip off. There's the fumbling of clothes, and the sometimes horrifying discovery of just where hair can grow. Then there's the distractions. Your boyfriend gets a call from his grandmother that he absolutely must take, and afterwards he feels too guilty to even get an erection because, come on, that was his sweet little-old Baptist grandmother. She would die, absolutely die to know what her grandson was doing. Your girlfriend has been too busy with work/school/life to have much alone time, and by the time you are both ready and able, mother nature strikes. Your date gets food poisoning after a romantic dinner, culminating into a trip in the ER. You see each other naked under flourescent lighting...
Of all the ways you can spin sex, I find the virginity trope overplayed and rather dull. Heck, just focusing on the process of dating and finding a romantic partner is in itself an adventure. Sure there's the occasional heartache, and the moments where you ask yourself what the fuck you were thinking, but overall it's hilarious because sex is probably the great cosmic joke. We spend quite a bit of time talking about sex, having sex, debating sex, pursuing sex, condemning sex, and philosophizing about sex, but very rarely do we take the time to laugh at sex. (Really, have you ever seen the faces we make whilst in the throes of ectasy?) Knowing all this, how about we stop making such a big deal about virginity? There's a lot more material there than meets the eye.
Finally, to game designers everywhere: If you really wanted to be more inclusive of women, start marketing to them, or better yet, hire more women. And please don't try to sell us on an idea of a game that makes us relive losing our virginity. Once is enough.
"In an industry dominated by men, leave it to women to come up with the winning idea in a contest to create a concept for a video game about losing one's virginity."
And we're off... *sighs*
On Wednesday, at the Game Developers Conference here, the two-woman team of Heather Kelley and Erin Robinson won the Game Design Challenge with just 36 hours of preparation, while their competitors had weeks to come up with concepts for a game about "your first time."
Is the well of ideas so dry that this is the best they could come up with? What is this obsession with the first time? I don't know about the rest of you, but my first time wasn't anything spectacular. No, it wasn't awful, and it wasn't traumatizing, it simply wasn't great. Of all the moments in my sexual history I might want to look back on, losing my virginity is near bottom of the list - even lower than some makeout sessions I had with my high school boyfriend.
I understand that sex is special, amazing, and wonderful. I've even gone so far as to say that, for me, sex can be sacred act. However, why must the first time be so perfect? Why must it be, dare I say, a religious experience? Putting the focus on losing one's virginity (or on perserving virginity for that matter) takes away from the fact that the majority of people who have sex will have it again, and again. It completely ignores that sex after your first time can still be amazing, spiritual, or just plain fun no matter how many times you do it. Yet, all anyone ever wants to focus on is that very first time.
The article went on to describe the winning concept:
Kelley began by explaining that her game would commence with the player having to pick an outfit for a date that was intended to conclude with their deflowering. It would have to be the least complicated outfit possible, she said, nothing with zippers that get stuck, or too many buttons or ties. [Emphasis added]
I can't really add much to this other than I really freaking hate the term "deflowering." My vagina is a body part, not a flower. Though if you really want to keep referring to it as a flower, let's use better terms. A penis will hereafter be referred to as a stamen and the vagina will be a pistil. (Hello, Harlequin writers, need some new euphamisms? Here you go.)
Then, there would be a mini game in which players would have to shave their legs, making especially sure not to miss the all-important spot "by the knees." Next up, dinner, and making sure to remove all the garlic from the meals, something the main character--clearly a female, since the game was presented from a woman's perspective--would have to do because of the general cluelessness of the boyfriend in question.
I'm not sure I could ever count everything that's wrong with this paragraph. A woman absolutely must do everything possible to make herself fuckable; from picking out the perfect outfit to shaving her legs. (Teehee, let's not forget to get all those pesky body hairs, girls!) It's a woman's job to plan for dinner, and you better remember not to let anyone have stinky breath! The boyfriend is completely useless in all of this as he's only there to "deflower" the girl. He can barely operate a zipper let alone plan a romantic dinner for his girlfriend. Oh, those silly men-children! We women have to do everything.
Yes, I've dressed up for dates I knew would end up in the bedroom, and in the interest of full disclosure, I am a woman who shaves. However, I do these things because I'm getting something out of it. I enjoy dressing up, and I happen to like the way my legs feel after a close shave, but none of these things are expected of me. I've had sex after wearing torn up jeans and a stained t-shirt. I've had sex when I hadn't been near a razor in a few days. I've even had sex at times when I probably should have gargled a bit of Listerine beforehand. Granted, those weren't necessarily my first time, either, but my point is that I've had sex without any prep work beforehand. In fact, that's part of what annoys me most about all this "first time" nonsense. Not everyone goes into their first time knowing it's going to be their first time. My first time was pretty much looking at my boyfriend after a few hours of making out and going, "So, do you think we should, um, do it?" His nervous response was, "Yes," and then there was lots of fumbling and...well, that's a bit personal, but I will say the experience was anything but magical and rather disappointing.
To me, there's only so many ways you can spin losing your virginity. I'd like to see a game that's not just about sex, but about dating in general. There'd be the awkward making out where you have to fend off a man whose breath reeks and who seems to have thing for sucking on your nose (swear to deity, this happened to me - mmm, nostrils). There'd be the guy who likes to bite a little too much and nearly chews your lip off. There's the fumbling of clothes, and the sometimes horrifying discovery of just where hair can grow. Then there's the distractions. Your boyfriend gets a call from his grandmother that he absolutely must take, and afterwards he feels too guilty to even get an erection because, come on, that was his sweet little-old Baptist grandmother. She would die, absolutely die to know what her grandson was doing. Your girlfriend has been too busy with work/school/life to have much alone time, and by the time you are both ready and able, mother nature strikes. Your date gets food poisoning after a romantic dinner, culminating into a trip in the ER. You see each other naked under flourescent lighting...
Of all the ways you can spin sex, I find the virginity trope overplayed and rather dull. Heck, just focusing on the process of dating and finding a romantic partner is in itself an adventure. Sure there's the occasional heartache, and the moments where you ask yourself what the fuck you were thinking, but overall it's hilarious because sex is probably the great cosmic joke. We spend quite a bit of time talking about sex, having sex, debating sex, pursuing sex, condemning sex, and philosophizing about sex, but very rarely do we take the time to laugh at sex. (Really, have you ever seen the faces we make whilst in the throes of ectasy?) Knowing all this, how about we stop making such a big deal about virginity? There's a lot more material there than meets the eye.
Finally, to game designers everywhere: If you really wanted to be more inclusive of women, start marketing to them, or better yet, hire more women. And please don't try to sell us on an idea of a game that makes us relive losing our virginity. Once is enough.