I Think I Might Be... Straight?!
Title: I Think I Might Be... Straight
Bandom: Avenged Sevenfold
Pairings: Brian/Zacky, Jimmy/Johnny, Matt/Val
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Matt questions his sexuality.
A/N: Inspired by a long conversation we had in my LGBT class. This is NOT meant to be taken seriously. It’s just to be funny… and maybe make a SLIGHT point. There are times when they’re a little OOC, but it's supposed to be that way.
Wordcount: 2,329
Matt glanced up when Zacky let out a very high giggle. His brow furrowed when he found his friend seemingly innocent, doing nothing more than surfing web while he remained curled in his boyfriend’s arms. Matt shrugged and went back to chewing on his pen while he tried to put his racing thoughts in order. Zacky giggled again and Matt sighed heavily.
“What the fuck are you giggling about?” Matt exclaimed testily, knowing he was being irrationally angry but not really giving a fuck.
“Dude, have you seen this fanfic shit? Most of it is like really dirty, only we’re having sex with girls.”
Syn made a face. “What? With, like, random chicks?”
Zacky shook his head, giggling a bit more. “Most of it is between Matt and Val.” He explained, referring to their tour manager.
Matt blushed and quickly ducked his head to hide it from his friends. “Fuck, that’s… that’s wrong.”
“I wonder why Matt.” Syn mused, tilting his head back against the couch.
“Why Matt what?”
Matt resisted the urge to bang his head into the table he was writing on, but only just. He swore the fates hated him. He glared up when Jimmy and Johnny entered the living section of the bus, cursing them both for simply existing.
“Why fans like to write about Matt fucking Val.” Syn answered promptly. Matt turned his murderous glare upon him, narrowing his eyes.
Jimmy burst into laughter, leaning heavily upon his outrageously short counterpart. Johnny snickered. “I didn’t know you were batting for that team, Matty.” He teased.
Matt picked up an empty beer can and threw it at Johnny’s head. “Shut the fuck up, pussy.”
“Oh my God, ew!” Zacky squealed suddenly. Four heads swiveled to look at him, eyebrows raised. He looked completely disgusted, glaring down at his laptop with narrowed eyes.
“What?”
“Someone wrote a story about Brian and Michelle.”
Syn made a face. “As in Val’s sister?”
“Yah.”
“That’s so… bleck.” Syn mumbled, pressing his lips quickly to Zacky’s as if to prove his gayness.
Jimmy sat down next to Zacky, pulling Johnny into his lap. The smaller man squirmed until he was situated, Jimmy’s arms wrapped securely around his middle. Matt watched them with a slight frown. Johnny laid one of his hands over Jimmy’s left hand, his thumb swiping unconsciously over his name inked into Jimmy’s skin, a ring around his finger. Matt moved his gaze to Syn and Zacky. There wasn’t a couple out there as perfect as those two. They’d been together for as long as Matt could remember and everyone knew they were the ideal example of forever.
Matt wanted that. He sighed and looked away.
Zacky frowned heavily. Matt was his best friend and was stupid to think that Zacky didn’t notice something was off about him. He could see that the other was sad and Zacky being, well, Zacky wanted to just make it better.
He stood up, running his fingers through Syn’s dark hair before he moved away. “Come on, Matty… Let’s go watch a movie.”
Matt frowned. He wasn’t stupid enough not to catch Zacky’s not-so-subtlety. He sighed again and nodded, standing up. Zacky wasn’t going to give up until they talked, so he might as well get it over with. They moved to the back lounge, falling onto a couch. Zacky busied himself with flipping through movies and Matt let him fidget, watching him bite nervously at his lip rings.
“Matt?” Zacky finally asked. Something about Zacky’s voice made Matt momentarily freeze.
“Yah?”
“You’re my best friend, y’know… You can tell me anything.”
Matt rolled his eyes. Was this going to be another one of those talks where Zacky had gotten insecure and wanted reassurance that Matt still loved him? “I know that, Zack.”
“Are you… I mean, it’s just that… And it’s okay if you are. Seriously, I’d be totally okay with it; I’ll love you no matter what…”
“Just spit it out already, Vengeance.”
“Are you straight?”
“Jesus Christ, Zack!”
“Matt, come on!” Zacky exclaimed, finally whirling around to face Matt. “You gotta admit you’re pretty… y’know, masculine… or whatever.”
“Just fuck off, Zack.” Matt snarled, standing up from the couch and stomping back towards the other guys and his book of lyrics. The others looked up in shock at his sudden reappearance, but wisely kept their mouths shut.
Matt Shadows was gay, thank you very much. Really, he was. He just fucking was.
Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to deal with the alternative.
“So, I have this friend.”
Matt groaned. Zacky had decided that he didn’t like Matt being alone and had taken it upon himself to find Matt the perfect guy. Since they’d come off tour, he’d set his vocalist up on five blind dates. They’d all gone atrociously bad.
“Zack, come on. I can find my own guy.”
“If you could do that, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Besides, you know Davey.”
“Davey? Davey Havok?”
Zacky beamed and nodded. “Yep. He says he likes your muscles.”
Matt sucked his lip ring into his mouth. Davey Havok was the catch everyone wanted to snag. Not only was he the vocalist for a rather kickass band, one Matt himself looked up to when first breaking out into the music scene, but he was fucking gorgeous. He was hot and he knew it. Hell, everyone knew it. He was smart as hell and funny, too. The perfect fucking catch.
Matt had never hated Zacky more.
“Come on, Matt! He’s your type. Little and submissive. That’s what you like, right? Isn’t that why you said you couldn’t be with Coby?”
“One of the reasons.” Matt corrected. “Another being I’ve known Jacoby forever and it’d be fucking weird. Besides, James would kick my ass.”
“James is far too protective of him.” Zacky sniffed.
“James is just too chicken shit to tell Coby he wants to fuck his brains out.” Matt muttered. “I thought Davey was involved with Jade.”
Zacky made a strange humming noise and waved his hand. “Oh, please.”
Matt wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew the look in Zacky’s eye. He was going to go on the date with Davey whether he liked it or not.
Fuck.
“I’m not making any promises.”
“So you’ll go?”
“I’m not making any promises.” Matt repeated.
“But you’ll go?”
“I’ll go.”
Zacky clapped his hands with glee. “Yes! Okay, this is going to be fun.”
Matt sighed, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Sometimes having Zacky Vengeance as a best friend wasn’t always good.
Matt fiddled absently with his fork, staring blankly at his plate. He had no idea what Davey was saying, he’d tuned him out so long ago. It wasn’t that Davey was boring, because he wasn’t. They just had nothing in common, their musical professions aside. Matt got enough clothing talk from Syn and Zacky.
“God, I’m not that boring am I?”
Matt jerked, looking up at Davey startled. “What? No!”
Davey sighed and sat back. “You’re not enjoying this at all, are you?”
“Not really,” Matt admitted.
“Yah, I figured as much when you started playing with the culinary. God, it’s like being on a date with fucking Adam.”
Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Adam… My drummer? He’s my best friend.”
“And I’m… like him?”
“You remind me of him, yes. Adam likes football and baseball… sports in general, really. And he hates shopping.”
Matt started to relax, smiling slightly. “Yah? Kinda sounds like me.”
“He’s straight.” Davey said bluntly.
Matt recoiled. “What?”
Davey rolled his eyes. “Addy’s straight. He came out to us, God… Years ago. But, of course, it was kind of obvious. I’d known since high school. He’s dating this lovely little brunette. They’ve been together for almost a year now. You didn’t know?”
Matt shook his head mutely. He had no idea what to think or how to react. He knew Adam. They’d talked a lot, now that Matt thought about it. They’d watched a game of football together last time they were both on Warped Tour. Zacky thought Matt had been hitting on him, but the thought had never crossed his mind.
“Do you think you’re straight?” Davey asked.
Sudden anger flared in Matt and he gritted his teeth. “No, I’m not fucking straight. I’m gay, okay? Maybe you’re just not as hot as you think you are.”
Davey rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m not stupid. Zacky set you up with me because I’m hot. He thinks you’re straight, okay? He pretty much hand delivered you one of the hottest guys around to give you the chance to prove otherwise. And guess what, Matt Sanders. You failed.”
Matt glared, crossing his arms. He stared down his nose at his glass of alcohol-free wine. God, he wanted to get drunk. What the fuck was Zacky thinking, setting him up with someone who was fucking straightedge?
Davey sighed and started shifting into his jacket. “Look, I need to get home. Jade’s waiting up for me.”
“Jade?”
Davey smirked. “He only agreed to let me come because he knew I’d be coming home to him. This little ploy was all Zacky’s idea. Sorry, love.”
Davey left Matt feeling rather murderous. He stood from his chair and stalked to the bar connected to the restaurant.
Fucking Zack.
“You look like hell.”
Matt opened one eye to peer up at Val, who was smirking down at him. He whined and pulled his blanket over his head. “My head hurts, go away.”
“That’s what you get. I thought you might like to know Zacky’s over at Davey’s.”
Matt whined again. Val laughed, climbing into the big bed, sitting cross-legged next to Matt’s prone form. She pulled the covers down enough to reveal Matt’s hazel eyes.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Matty?”
Matt groaned. “I don’t fucking know anymore.”
“Well, come on. Talk to me. I want to help you.”
“It’s fucking Zack. He’s got me all confused.”
“Is he still sure you’re straight?”
Matt nodded, pressing his face into Val’s leg. She stroked her fingers through his hair.
“Poor baby. What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I mean… I never really thought about it before, Val. I’ve always been gay. I’m supposed to be gay.”
“Forget about that. What do you think?”
Matt hesitated. “I… I think I might be…Straight.” He whispered.
“How can I help?”
He groaned. “God, I don’t know.”
“Sit up.”
“What?”
“Sit. Up. I have an idea.”
Matt grumbled to himself as he complied. He sat, looking expectantly at Val. “Now what?”
“Close your eyes.”
Matt arched an eyebrow, but he’d always trusted Val. Why stop doing that now? He closed his eyes.
For a second, nothing happened. But then petal soft lips brushed against his own, hesitant at first but then with more confidence and pressure. Matt groaned, reaching up to cup the back of Val’s head and pull her closer.
She broke away panting. “Well… That answers that question.”
Matt opened his eyes, blushing slightly. He chuckled. “Yah.”
Matt smiled against Val’s neck, pulling her closer with one arm. He still marveled at how perfect she fit into his hold. Like she was meant to be there. Matt was starting to think she was.
“Matt?”
“Hmm?”
Val sighed. “It’s been months.”
Matt sighed heavily, rolling over and away from his girlfriend. “Val.”
Val scurried from the bed, beginning to pull on clothes. “I can’t do this, Matt.” She muttered, looking around for her shirt. She found it but then stood, simply looking at Matt. “I can’t. I love you. I fucking love you but I can’t do this. I can’t be your dirty little secret.”
“Val, please!”
“No. Either you come out to the guys, or we’re over. Okay? I’m sorry, but I… I deserve more than this, Matt. We both do.”
“Val, don’t go! I’m sorry, I’m just… Just not ready yet.”
“When are you going to be ready? A year from now? Two years? How long do you expect me to wait? I can’t live like this. I love you too fucking much to do it. It hurts too much.”
Matt watched her leave. He knew the words that would stop her, but his fear had them stuck in his throat.
He didn’t realize giving up Val would be like giving up air. Impossible.
“I… I have something to say.”
Matt hated that his voice was shaking. He hated that he sounded so insecure and hesitant. But he couldn’t help it.
Zacky looked up. Matt could tell just by looking at him that he knew what was coming. That made him feel a little better. It meant Zacky would still be there, even after. Syn frowned, wrapping an arm around Zacky’s shoulders. Matt recognized the move. It was Syn preparing for Zacky to be upset. So he’d immediately be able to pull him into his arms. Johnny and Jimmy managed to stop groping one another in order to face him.
“I’m… I’m straight.”
For several seconds, it was dead silent. And then Syn rolled his eyes. “That’s all? Fuck, I thought it was something serious.”
“Yah, man. You had me scared.” Johnny added, throwing his hat at Matt.
Jimmy just shifted his focus back to biting at Johnny’s neck.
Zacky beamed at him. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”
Matt smiled a little sheepishly.
THE END!
Bandom: Avenged Sevenfold
Pairings: Brian/Zacky, Jimmy/Johnny, Matt/Val
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Matt questions his sexuality.
A/N: Inspired by a long conversation we had in my LGBT class. This is NOT meant to be taken seriously. It’s just to be funny… and maybe make a SLIGHT point. There are times when they’re a little OOC, but it's supposed to be that way.
Wordcount: 2,329
Matt glanced up when Zacky let out a very high giggle. His brow furrowed when he found his friend seemingly innocent, doing nothing more than surfing web while he remained curled in his boyfriend’s arms. Matt shrugged and went back to chewing on his pen while he tried to put his racing thoughts in order. Zacky giggled again and Matt sighed heavily.
“What the fuck are you giggling about?” Matt exclaimed testily, knowing he was being irrationally angry but not really giving a fuck.
“Dude, have you seen this fanfic shit? Most of it is like really dirty, only we’re having sex with girls.”
Syn made a face. “What? With, like, random chicks?”
Zacky shook his head, giggling a bit more. “Most of it is between Matt and Val.” He explained, referring to their tour manager.
Matt blushed and quickly ducked his head to hide it from his friends. “Fuck, that’s… that’s wrong.”
“I wonder why Matt.” Syn mused, tilting his head back against the couch.
“Why Matt what?”
Matt resisted the urge to bang his head into the table he was writing on, but only just. He swore the fates hated him. He glared up when Jimmy and Johnny entered the living section of the bus, cursing them both for simply existing.
“Why fans like to write about Matt fucking Val.” Syn answered promptly. Matt turned his murderous glare upon him, narrowing his eyes.
Jimmy burst into laughter, leaning heavily upon his outrageously short counterpart. Johnny snickered. “I didn’t know you were batting for that team, Matty.” He teased.
Matt picked up an empty beer can and threw it at Johnny’s head. “Shut the fuck up, pussy.”
“Oh my God, ew!” Zacky squealed suddenly. Four heads swiveled to look at him, eyebrows raised. He looked completely disgusted, glaring down at his laptop with narrowed eyes.
“What?”
“Someone wrote a story about Brian and Michelle.”
Syn made a face. “As in Val’s sister?”
“Yah.”
“That’s so… bleck.” Syn mumbled, pressing his lips quickly to Zacky’s as if to prove his gayness.
Jimmy sat down next to Zacky, pulling Johnny into his lap. The smaller man squirmed until he was situated, Jimmy’s arms wrapped securely around his middle. Matt watched them with a slight frown. Johnny laid one of his hands over Jimmy’s left hand, his thumb swiping unconsciously over his name inked into Jimmy’s skin, a ring around his finger. Matt moved his gaze to Syn and Zacky. There wasn’t a couple out there as perfect as those two. They’d been together for as long as Matt could remember and everyone knew they were the ideal example of forever.
Matt wanted that. He sighed and looked away.
Zacky frowned heavily. Matt was his best friend and was stupid to think that Zacky didn’t notice something was off about him. He could see that the other was sad and Zacky being, well, Zacky wanted to just make it better.
He stood up, running his fingers through Syn’s dark hair before he moved away. “Come on, Matty… Let’s go watch a movie.”
Matt frowned. He wasn’t stupid enough not to catch Zacky’s not-so-subtlety. He sighed again and nodded, standing up. Zacky wasn’t going to give up until they talked, so he might as well get it over with. They moved to the back lounge, falling onto a couch. Zacky busied himself with flipping through movies and Matt let him fidget, watching him bite nervously at his lip rings.
“Matt?” Zacky finally asked. Something about Zacky’s voice made Matt momentarily freeze.
“Yah?”
“You’re my best friend, y’know… You can tell me anything.”
Matt rolled his eyes. Was this going to be another one of those talks where Zacky had gotten insecure and wanted reassurance that Matt still loved him? “I know that, Zack.”
“Are you… I mean, it’s just that… And it’s okay if you are. Seriously, I’d be totally okay with it; I’ll love you no matter what…”
“Just spit it out already, Vengeance.”
“Are you straight?”
“Jesus Christ, Zack!”
“Matt, come on!” Zacky exclaimed, finally whirling around to face Matt. “You gotta admit you’re pretty… y’know, masculine… or whatever.”
“Just fuck off, Zack.” Matt snarled, standing up from the couch and stomping back towards the other guys and his book of lyrics. The others looked up in shock at his sudden reappearance, but wisely kept their mouths shut.
Matt Shadows was gay, thank you very much. Really, he was. He just fucking was.
Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to deal with the alternative.
“So, I have this friend.”
Matt groaned. Zacky had decided that he didn’t like Matt being alone and had taken it upon himself to find Matt the perfect guy. Since they’d come off tour, he’d set his vocalist up on five blind dates. They’d all gone atrociously bad.
“Zack, come on. I can find my own guy.”
“If you could do that, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Besides, you know Davey.”
“Davey? Davey Havok?”
Zacky beamed and nodded. “Yep. He says he likes your muscles.”
Matt sucked his lip ring into his mouth. Davey Havok was the catch everyone wanted to snag. Not only was he the vocalist for a rather kickass band, one Matt himself looked up to when first breaking out into the music scene, but he was fucking gorgeous. He was hot and he knew it. Hell, everyone knew it. He was smart as hell and funny, too. The perfect fucking catch.
Matt had never hated Zacky more.
“Come on, Matt! He’s your type. Little and submissive. That’s what you like, right? Isn’t that why you said you couldn’t be with Coby?”
“One of the reasons.” Matt corrected. “Another being I’ve known Jacoby forever and it’d be fucking weird. Besides, James would kick my ass.”
“James is far too protective of him.” Zacky sniffed.
“James is just too chicken shit to tell Coby he wants to fuck his brains out.” Matt muttered. “I thought Davey was involved with Jade.”
Zacky made a strange humming noise and waved his hand. “Oh, please.”
Matt wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew the look in Zacky’s eye. He was going to go on the date with Davey whether he liked it or not.
Fuck.
“I’m not making any promises.”
“So you’ll go?”
“I’m not making any promises.” Matt repeated.
“But you’ll go?”
“I’ll go.”
Zacky clapped his hands with glee. “Yes! Okay, this is going to be fun.”
Matt sighed, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Sometimes having Zacky Vengeance as a best friend wasn’t always good.
Matt fiddled absently with his fork, staring blankly at his plate. He had no idea what Davey was saying, he’d tuned him out so long ago. It wasn’t that Davey was boring, because he wasn’t. They just had nothing in common, their musical professions aside. Matt got enough clothing talk from Syn and Zacky.
“God, I’m not that boring am I?”
Matt jerked, looking up at Davey startled. “What? No!”
Davey sighed and sat back. “You’re not enjoying this at all, are you?”
“Not really,” Matt admitted.
“Yah, I figured as much when you started playing with the culinary. God, it’s like being on a date with fucking Adam.”
Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Adam… My drummer? He’s my best friend.”
“And I’m… like him?”
“You remind me of him, yes. Adam likes football and baseball… sports in general, really. And he hates shopping.”
Matt started to relax, smiling slightly. “Yah? Kinda sounds like me.”
“He’s straight.” Davey said bluntly.
Matt recoiled. “What?”
Davey rolled his eyes. “Addy’s straight. He came out to us, God… Years ago. But, of course, it was kind of obvious. I’d known since high school. He’s dating this lovely little brunette. They’ve been together for almost a year now. You didn’t know?”
Matt shook his head mutely. He had no idea what to think or how to react. He knew Adam. They’d talked a lot, now that Matt thought about it. They’d watched a game of football together last time they were both on Warped Tour. Zacky thought Matt had been hitting on him, but the thought had never crossed his mind.
“Do you think you’re straight?” Davey asked.
Sudden anger flared in Matt and he gritted his teeth. “No, I’m not fucking straight. I’m gay, okay? Maybe you’re just not as hot as you think you are.”
Davey rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m not stupid. Zacky set you up with me because I’m hot. He thinks you’re straight, okay? He pretty much hand delivered you one of the hottest guys around to give you the chance to prove otherwise. And guess what, Matt Sanders. You failed.”
Matt glared, crossing his arms. He stared down his nose at his glass of alcohol-free wine. God, he wanted to get drunk. What the fuck was Zacky thinking, setting him up with someone who was fucking straightedge?
Davey sighed and started shifting into his jacket. “Look, I need to get home. Jade’s waiting up for me.”
“Jade?”
Davey smirked. “He only agreed to let me come because he knew I’d be coming home to him. This little ploy was all Zacky’s idea. Sorry, love.”
Davey left Matt feeling rather murderous. He stood from his chair and stalked to the bar connected to the restaurant.
Fucking Zack.
“You look like hell.”
Matt opened one eye to peer up at Val, who was smirking down at him. He whined and pulled his blanket over his head. “My head hurts, go away.”
“That’s what you get. I thought you might like to know Zacky’s over at Davey’s.”
Matt whined again. Val laughed, climbing into the big bed, sitting cross-legged next to Matt’s prone form. She pulled the covers down enough to reveal Matt’s hazel eyes.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Matty?”
Matt groaned. “I don’t fucking know anymore.”
“Well, come on. Talk to me. I want to help you.”
“It’s fucking Zack. He’s got me all confused.”
“Is he still sure you’re straight?”
Matt nodded, pressing his face into Val’s leg. She stroked her fingers through his hair.
“Poor baby. What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I mean… I never really thought about it before, Val. I’ve always been gay. I’m supposed to be gay.”
“Forget about that. What do you think?”
Matt hesitated. “I… I think I might be…Straight.” He whispered.
“How can I help?”
He groaned. “God, I don’t know.”
“Sit up.”
“What?”
“Sit. Up. I have an idea.”
Matt grumbled to himself as he complied. He sat, looking expectantly at Val. “Now what?”
“Close your eyes.”
Matt arched an eyebrow, but he’d always trusted Val. Why stop doing that now? He closed his eyes.
For a second, nothing happened. But then petal soft lips brushed against his own, hesitant at first but then with more confidence and pressure. Matt groaned, reaching up to cup the back of Val’s head and pull her closer.
She broke away panting. “Well… That answers that question.”
Matt opened his eyes, blushing slightly. He chuckled. “Yah.”
Matt smiled against Val’s neck, pulling her closer with one arm. He still marveled at how perfect she fit into his hold. Like she was meant to be there. Matt was starting to think she was.
“Matt?”
“Hmm?”
Val sighed. “It’s been months.”
Matt sighed heavily, rolling over and away from his girlfriend. “Val.”
Val scurried from the bed, beginning to pull on clothes. “I can’t do this, Matt.” She muttered, looking around for her shirt. She found it but then stood, simply looking at Matt. “I can’t. I love you. I fucking love you but I can’t do this. I can’t be your dirty little secret.”
“Val, please!”
“No. Either you come out to the guys, or we’re over. Okay? I’m sorry, but I… I deserve more than this, Matt. We both do.”
“Val, don’t go! I’m sorry, I’m just… Just not ready yet.”
“When are you going to be ready? A year from now? Two years? How long do you expect me to wait? I can’t live like this. I love you too fucking much to do it. It hurts too much.”
Matt watched her leave. He knew the words that would stop her, but his fear had them stuck in his throat.
He didn’t realize giving up Val would be like giving up air. Impossible.
“I… I have something to say.”
Matt hated that his voice was shaking. He hated that he sounded so insecure and hesitant. But he couldn’t help it.
Zacky looked up. Matt could tell just by looking at him that he knew what was coming. That made him feel a little better. It meant Zacky would still be there, even after. Syn frowned, wrapping an arm around Zacky’s shoulders. Matt recognized the move. It was Syn preparing for Zacky to be upset. So he’d immediately be able to pull him into his arms. Johnny and Jimmy managed to stop groping one another in order to face him.
“I’m… I’m straight.”
For several seconds, it was dead silent. And then Syn rolled his eyes. “That’s all? Fuck, I thought it was something serious.”
“Yah, man. You had me scared.” Johnny added, throwing his hat at Matt.
Jimmy just shifted his focus back to biting at Johnny’s neck.
Zacky beamed at him. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”
Matt smiled a little sheepishly.
THE END!