Things I didn't say that I should have
First, I would like to say that you, in no way, have shown me any of your “Christian” values, and in fact have pushed me farther away from the church than I’ve ever been. Solely because of you, I hope to never set foot in a church again, nor will I want to associate myself with “Christians” like you again.
My money problems are the result of your sister’s lie. My father never took money out of my account. I made that up so that hopefully you wouldn’t feel I was attacking your sister. She told me that she would be paying her share of April’s bills when she mentioned that she would be moving out. Then, with 4 DAYS NOTICE, you told me that she wouldn’t be paying her part, and shouldn’t have to. Unfortunately, you failed to realize that not only did your sister make more money than me (something I’ve mentioned to your face before), that I was working at nearly minimum wage (I’ve also mentioned that to your face, an extra $200 at minimum wage is a lot, by the way), that all the money you think I saved with her being here went into the $530.00 washer and dryer in the garage.
Now, I did my best, but it wasn’t enough…and I apologized for that. I took Maggie's advice, and instead of laying blame or stealing, I sold my stereo, some books, some CD's and movies and nearly anything I could get money for to pay what you felt I owed.
Then, YOUR cat ripped up YOUR veil and you tried to make me feel guilty for it. I put the coats into that closet two weeks before that incident, and haven’t gone back into that room since, yet you still tried to make it sound like it was my fault. Fine...I turned the other cheek and took that slap, too. I tried to brush it off as you just being upset that the veil got ruined, something I completely understand. But, in that little note you left, you said when I paid you the $450 extra in rent, then I could have my share of the house. Well, that number is wrong to begin with (my checks in August and April were for $400.00, that leaves 7 months, not 9 months difference, which comes to $350, not $450). But here are the things that bother me about that. 1) you still used the washer and dryer, yet haven’t paid a dime towards it. 2) you agreed my half of the house would be the garage, even before your sister moved in, and here it is a year later and THAT never happened, either (but I broke my word first, right...no wait, I bought the washer and dryer, and you still haven't even gotten blinds for the living room yet). 3) if I paid you the extra $350, then it would be like I paid $300 a month and you paid $250, so would that have entitled me to cleaning out the living room, kitchen (save some dishes and some magnets) and also taking control of the third bedroom? You seemed to think so. Now, if we split the rent 3 ways for the 7 months your sister was here, that’d be $267 a piece…so I’d only owe you $17.00 difference for those 7 months, which comes to $119.00 (you can collect the rest from your sister). And, since you can take back your word about paying the extra $300 a month (it was your idea, not mine)...I can take back mine about you not pitching in on the washer and dryer. Take $530, split in half is $265 (split in thirds it’s $176, give me your sister’s address and I’ll collect that from her, if you want). Either way, both is more than the $119 I’d owe you in rent, so you would still owe me $146 (or $57, if your sister pitches in), and that’s just to get everything back to equal pay.
All of this I took without saying a word. I turned the other cheek and was hoping you would calm down and realize that you were being a bit harsh. I didn’t expect an apology, and I guess will never get one, but was hoping cooler heads will prevail, so I said nothing.
BUT THEN, the doorknobs and washer acted up. By this time I had been working two jobs, so I thought on the weekend when you weren’t working you had called Ray. It was an honest miscommunication. However, your hostility towards all this previous crap felt the urge to put more blame on me. You left yet another note, complaining about how I’d be responsible for Cory’s stuff if the doors weren't locked right. First, Cory didn’t pay rent, or electric, so his stuff was welcome to go home with him whenever he saw fit. I will not and do not expect to be held responsible when I’m already paying for his stuff’s space and his stuff’s use, especially when I don’t use it or look at it. I’ve already paid too much for it. Second, you were the only one complaining about the doorknobs, so why that was my responsibility, I still have no clue. But, I called Ray anyway (your fingers were broken that day, I guess). He came to the house, left a note saying everything was running smoothly, and the doorknobs had been replaced (or hadn’t you noticed?). Then you used the washer and the sink backed up. So in comes yet another note blaming me for a problem YOU were having. It was at this point that I decided I’d start looking for somewhere else to live. Your sister moved out and you made no attempt to hold up your end of the bargain, and instead just blamed me for more problems of yours. You finished your note (in such a pleasant and Christian loving tone) with “I don’t want to have to ask you again.”
I told Ray two days before he told you that I was moving out. I wasn’t planning on hiding it from you. My actual plan was to give you two weeks notice (since you gave me 4 days notice about your sister not paying, I figured 2 weeks was more than enough, I mean, you two didn’t feel I needed any more consideration than 4 days, so why not?). This time, after Ray was here, I left his note saying everything was fixed out in the open for you to see, so that if you had any problems with the plumbing or anything else in that house, you could feel free to call Ray yourself. My one bedroom and half garage worked just fine for me. In your own words, you will never have to ask me again.
Now, since you unplugged the internet access, I wasn't going to pay for it (I haven’t used it, I shouldn’t have to, or does that excuse only work for your extra room?). Of course, not paying for it never stopped you or your sister from using the washer and dryer whenever you wanted. You even had the balls to try and say I used it too much. Well since the "I paid for it" excuse is good for you, you had no right to try and lay guilt on me for that little tidbit.
All the dirty looks from Maggie and everyone else when I walked in I took with a grain of salt, but I know now I can never trust you, or them, again. That's why I won't acknowledge or say hey to them anymore. And as for using Maggie, what a crock of shit. I told you as it was happening that I didn't feel the connections anymore, so I backed off, and she met and hooked up with Jordan before moving on to Justin. I didn't use her for anything, and never intended to hurt her. Or would it have been better in the long run had I faked emotions for her simply because she felt them for me?? And I told you face to face exactly what was going on, and you said that was a smart move on my part...so were you lying then, or are you lying now?
Speaking of…it’s funny, you blamed me for always running out of toilet paper in my bathroom, but since your sister has moved out, I bought a new package (right after Amanda’s toy party)…and was still on the FIRST ROLL! The reason I kept running out of toilet paper is because your sister and your friends kept using it all!!! On my own, I have yet to finish off one roll of toilet paper in over a month. Weird, huh?
As for my using your laundry detergent, somebody's been using mine, too. I bought a bottle of All, washed 3 loads of laundry, and the next weekend, was buying another bottle of All...how does that happen, if I'm busy stealing yours? And as for your food, I haven't used the fridge for more than my bottled water in the last 2 months I was living there. Your sister openly admitted to eating my food, I've seen her make a sandwhich using my bread and my meat and cheese, so yes, I ate a banana and some grapes every now and then. As for your stuff, I haven't touched it...but let's overlook the fact that the reason you and Cory took out the trash all the time (and I told Maggie this before, too) is because you two were the only ones using that trashcan in the kitchen! I had my own, in my room, and used that. Complain about taking out the trash all you want, but you have to realize, it was your own trash anyway! And we'll also overlook the fact that I bought the trashbags fo the can that I didn't even use, too.
Now you want to call boo effing hoo to the debt I had to pay. I wasn't paying it off because I had NO MONEY left! That's the same reason I didn't get the dryer fixed when it broke...there was no money left to get it fixed with! Living in that house was NOT cheaper than on my own. My rent was only $25 cheaper, but the LP&L, Xcel, Atmos and Cox were not only all higher than my apartment bills were, they washed away that $25 leeway easily. I was also too busy paying you and your sister $20.00 for a Superbowl party that a) I didn't even know we were having and b) brought my own food and drink to that your friends ate and drank with us. But don't worry, I took the low road and paid it without complaining.
And you keep saying I was always late, and my checks always bounced. They bounced once, and I gave you cash from then on out. And as for always late, how about not paying the previous month's Xcel bill that I gave you, and gave you money for, at all...and that happened before you knew I was moving out. Don't worry, I checked on you, too, and I paid that bill, all of it, on my own since I could no longer trust you to pay on time, either. On top of that, I paid for your sister to live in that house rent and nearly bill free (yes, she paid her part of that month's Atmos...I already paid her part once before, I couldn't afford to do it again, not since I was trying to cover her part of the rent) the last two weeks she was there and SHE MADE MORE MONEY THAN ME! She hadn't paid her part of the Xcel bill since February! So did you give her the boo effing hoo speech, too? Doubt it.
Now I know none of this will change your mind about how anything has gone in the past. However, I’ve tried turning the other cheek. I didn’t say anything when I had nothing nice to say. I tried to help someone, who made more money than I did, with their financial problem. I’ve even apologized for something that wasn’t my fault. Can you say the same? (Don’t worry, I know you’ll say yes, but you’ll be hard pressed to prove it, just like I’m hard pressed to point any of this out to you). I don’t think you’re sorry for a single thing you did. For the last two months, you’ve had a hell of a deal, a 2 bedroom house, with a spacious living room and a big kitchen, free washer and dryer and half a storage unit, all for $400 a month…but take a look around, and you’ll see that what I got for $400 is a one bedroom efficiency with half a storage unit. And instead of moving your stuff from the garage into the extra room, what did you do? You put the cats in there. I’d hate to say it, but under this deal, you needed me a lot more than I needed you. That’s why I’m not sorry for what I’m doing. That’s why I wamted to leave…I don’t have time to make sure you get a sweet deal, especially when you’re not even willing to hold up your part of your word that you gave me in August. If you want to start somewhere, start with that promise that you didn’t uphold (hell, Chris Merman even made a joke about it, how girlie the house looked, and my response, “It’ll be alright, once I get the garage going”…and you nodded. Cory even wanted to put his girlie magazine thing in my guy space…I guess that part of “open and honest” doesn’t count because your credit score wasn’t in question…but your integrity sure was.
Now, how about the things you've done once you found out I was moving out? Did you tell all your friends how you started turning on every single light in the house all day, and turning the A/C down to nearly 65? Ah yes, the sure sign of someone who is trying to jack up a bill before not paying for it. And then tried to get my 'share' of the bill money before it was due. Did you once provide a bill saying it was due now? Nope, I was supposed to take your word that it was due now (and my fault that it was due now) despite the fact that I already knew you didn't pay the last month's bill. You accused me of cheating you on the bills...so I told you that all I did was take the amount due, divide by two and ask for that half. I even gave you every bill after that, with my share of the money. I trusted you completely, and I never tried to swindle you. But I know you won't believe that. As for the internet, I already covered that...and I had planned on giving you money for the cable. The reason the internet didn't work was because you unplugged the router that I helped pay for (and you have kept, yet didn't give me my share of the money for...don't worry, I'm not asking for it, I'm just pointing out that technically you're stealing it). And speaking of stealing...you sold my sister's poster at the garage sale...I let that go. You have my dustbuster (the one you joked about as 'phallic' before I moved in), you also have my Trivial Pursuit, and on top of that, you have Spencer's blue blanket that he leant me. I'm letting all that go, too.
The only thing that truly bothers me about this whole mess...not once did I call you names, or attack you. I didn't pull any tricks to try and jack up your bills. And the water got turned off on me, too (or did verifying that it was supposed to be cut off on the 21st, yet was cut off on the 15th not cross your mind?). Why would I turn the water off on myself if all I cared about was myself? Yes, I did want it turned off on the 21st. And I planned on telling you this the weekend before (if you'll notice, the 21st is a Tuesday...that would've given you time on Saturday and on Monday in case they were closed on Saturday to make the call and switch the service...but I'm a mean and vicious uncaring soul who's purpose was to throw 'kinks' at you). All I wanted was out...as quietly and painlessly as possible...but you proved that impossible.
It was always your house, and the only time you even thought about it as mine was when the bills needed paying. My name was on that lease, but you treated it, and me, like it was your house. I wasn't even allowed to keep a few magnets on the refridgerator (I forgot you paid for that, too). The saddest part, you're calling me stalker (speaking of, I don't want to date Sarah, I've told you that to your face, too...I was just trying to be friendly, and if your idea of plain talking is to just say, "Well, Sarah's flaky." (your exact words) then yes, I missed that hint), psycho, unresponsible, and a great numerous other things...you are not letting it go (as you've posted good riddance several times, you keep brining it back up it seems), and all I've done was ignore you and walk away.
And you're supposed to be the Christian one of us.
I know you are very angry. I know someday you will learn to get over all of this and move on. I know that day is a very long way off. I just want you to know that as much as you think I didn't respect you, and used you...you did to me as well. It was your house, never ours (whether my name was on the lease or not). If I had known that's how it would've turned out, I wouldn't have moved in and maybe salvaged a friendship. I will not speak badly of you again. I only hope you can do the same.
My money problems are the result of your sister’s lie. My father never took money out of my account. I made that up so that hopefully you wouldn’t feel I was attacking your sister. She told me that she would be paying her share of April’s bills when she mentioned that she would be moving out. Then, with 4 DAYS NOTICE, you told me that she wouldn’t be paying her part, and shouldn’t have to. Unfortunately, you failed to realize that not only did your sister make more money than me (something I’ve mentioned to your face before), that I was working at nearly minimum wage (I’ve also mentioned that to your face, an extra $200 at minimum wage is a lot, by the way), that all the money you think I saved with her being here went into the $530.00 washer and dryer in the garage.
Now, I did my best, but it wasn’t enough…and I apologized for that. I took Maggie's advice, and instead of laying blame or stealing, I sold my stereo, some books, some CD's and movies and nearly anything I could get money for to pay what you felt I owed.
Then, YOUR cat ripped up YOUR veil and you tried to make me feel guilty for it. I put the coats into that closet two weeks before that incident, and haven’t gone back into that room since, yet you still tried to make it sound like it was my fault. Fine...I turned the other cheek and took that slap, too. I tried to brush it off as you just being upset that the veil got ruined, something I completely understand. But, in that little note you left, you said when I paid you the $450 extra in rent, then I could have my share of the house. Well, that number is wrong to begin with (my checks in August and April were for $400.00, that leaves 7 months, not 9 months difference, which comes to $350, not $450). But here are the things that bother me about that. 1) you still used the washer and dryer, yet haven’t paid a dime towards it. 2) you agreed my half of the house would be the garage, even before your sister moved in, and here it is a year later and THAT never happened, either (but I broke my word first, right...no wait, I bought the washer and dryer, and you still haven't even gotten blinds for the living room yet). 3) if I paid you the extra $350, then it would be like I paid $300 a month and you paid $250, so would that have entitled me to cleaning out the living room, kitchen (save some dishes and some magnets) and also taking control of the third bedroom? You seemed to think so. Now, if we split the rent 3 ways for the 7 months your sister was here, that’d be $267 a piece…so I’d only owe you $17.00 difference for those 7 months, which comes to $119.00 (you can collect the rest from your sister). And, since you can take back your word about paying the extra $300 a month (it was your idea, not mine)...I can take back mine about you not pitching in on the washer and dryer. Take $530, split in half is $265 (split in thirds it’s $176, give me your sister’s address and I’ll collect that from her, if you want). Either way, both is more than the $119 I’d owe you in rent, so you would still owe me $146 (or $57, if your sister pitches in), and that’s just to get everything back to equal pay.
All of this I took without saying a word. I turned the other cheek and was hoping you would calm down and realize that you were being a bit harsh. I didn’t expect an apology, and I guess will never get one, but was hoping cooler heads will prevail, so I said nothing.
BUT THEN, the doorknobs and washer acted up. By this time I had been working two jobs, so I thought on the weekend when you weren’t working you had called Ray. It was an honest miscommunication. However, your hostility towards all this previous crap felt the urge to put more blame on me. You left yet another note, complaining about how I’d be responsible for Cory’s stuff if the doors weren't locked right. First, Cory didn’t pay rent, or electric, so his stuff was welcome to go home with him whenever he saw fit. I will not and do not expect to be held responsible when I’m already paying for his stuff’s space and his stuff’s use, especially when I don’t use it or look at it. I’ve already paid too much for it. Second, you were the only one complaining about the doorknobs, so why that was my responsibility, I still have no clue. But, I called Ray anyway (your fingers were broken that day, I guess). He came to the house, left a note saying everything was running smoothly, and the doorknobs had been replaced (or hadn’t you noticed?). Then you used the washer and the sink backed up. So in comes yet another note blaming me for a problem YOU were having. It was at this point that I decided I’d start looking for somewhere else to live. Your sister moved out and you made no attempt to hold up your end of the bargain, and instead just blamed me for more problems of yours. You finished your note (in such a pleasant and Christian loving tone) with “I don’t want to have to ask you again.”
I told Ray two days before he told you that I was moving out. I wasn’t planning on hiding it from you. My actual plan was to give you two weeks notice (since you gave me 4 days notice about your sister not paying, I figured 2 weeks was more than enough, I mean, you two didn’t feel I needed any more consideration than 4 days, so why not?). This time, after Ray was here, I left his note saying everything was fixed out in the open for you to see, so that if you had any problems with the plumbing or anything else in that house, you could feel free to call Ray yourself. My one bedroom and half garage worked just fine for me. In your own words, you will never have to ask me again.
Now, since you unplugged the internet access, I wasn't going to pay for it (I haven’t used it, I shouldn’t have to, or does that excuse only work for your extra room?). Of course, not paying for it never stopped you or your sister from using the washer and dryer whenever you wanted. You even had the balls to try and say I used it too much. Well since the "I paid for it" excuse is good for you, you had no right to try and lay guilt on me for that little tidbit.
All the dirty looks from Maggie and everyone else when I walked in I took with a grain of salt, but I know now I can never trust you, or them, again. That's why I won't acknowledge or say hey to them anymore. And as for using Maggie, what a crock of shit. I told you as it was happening that I didn't feel the connections anymore, so I backed off, and she met and hooked up with Jordan before moving on to Justin. I didn't use her for anything, and never intended to hurt her. Or would it have been better in the long run had I faked emotions for her simply because she felt them for me?? And I told you face to face exactly what was going on, and you said that was a smart move on my part...so were you lying then, or are you lying now?
Speaking of…it’s funny, you blamed me for always running out of toilet paper in my bathroom, but since your sister has moved out, I bought a new package (right after Amanda’s toy party)…and was still on the FIRST ROLL! The reason I kept running out of toilet paper is because your sister and your friends kept using it all!!! On my own, I have yet to finish off one roll of toilet paper in over a month. Weird, huh?
As for my using your laundry detergent, somebody's been using mine, too. I bought a bottle of All, washed 3 loads of laundry, and the next weekend, was buying another bottle of All...how does that happen, if I'm busy stealing yours? And as for your food, I haven't used the fridge for more than my bottled water in the last 2 months I was living there. Your sister openly admitted to eating my food, I've seen her make a sandwhich using my bread and my meat and cheese, so yes, I ate a banana and some grapes every now and then. As for your stuff, I haven't touched it...but let's overlook the fact that the reason you and Cory took out the trash all the time (and I told Maggie this before, too) is because you two were the only ones using that trashcan in the kitchen! I had my own, in my room, and used that. Complain about taking out the trash all you want, but you have to realize, it was your own trash anyway! And we'll also overlook the fact that I bought the trashbags fo the can that I didn't even use, too.
Now you want to call boo effing hoo to the debt I had to pay. I wasn't paying it off because I had NO MONEY left! That's the same reason I didn't get the dryer fixed when it broke...there was no money left to get it fixed with! Living in that house was NOT cheaper than on my own. My rent was only $25 cheaper, but the LP&L, Xcel, Atmos and Cox were not only all higher than my apartment bills were, they washed away that $25 leeway easily. I was also too busy paying you and your sister $20.00 for a Superbowl party that a) I didn't even know we were having and b) brought my own food and drink to that your friends ate and drank with us. But don't worry, I took the low road and paid it without complaining.
And you keep saying I was always late, and my checks always bounced. They bounced once, and I gave you cash from then on out. And as for always late, how about not paying the previous month's Xcel bill that I gave you, and gave you money for, at all...and that happened before you knew I was moving out. Don't worry, I checked on you, too, and I paid that bill, all of it, on my own since I could no longer trust you to pay on time, either. On top of that, I paid for your sister to live in that house rent and nearly bill free (yes, she paid her part of that month's Atmos...I already paid her part once before, I couldn't afford to do it again, not since I was trying to cover her part of the rent) the last two weeks she was there and SHE MADE MORE MONEY THAN ME! She hadn't paid her part of the Xcel bill since February! So did you give her the boo effing hoo speech, too? Doubt it.
Now I know none of this will change your mind about how anything has gone in the past. However, I’ve tried turning the other cheek. I didn’t say anything when I had nothing nice to say. I tried to help someone, who made more money than I did, with their financial problem. I’ve even apologized for something that wasn’t my fault. Can you say the same? (Don’t worry, I know you’ll say yes, but you’ll be hard pressed to prove it, just like I’m hard pressed to point any of this out to you). I don’t think you’re sorry for a single thing you did. For the last two months, you’ve had a hell of a deal, a 2 bedroom house, with a spacious living room and a big kitchen, free washer and dryer and half a storage unit, all for $400 a month…but take a look around, and you’ll see that what I got for $400 is a one bedroom efficiency with half a storage unit. And instead of moving your stuff from the garage into the extra room, what did you do? You put the cats in there. I’d hate to say it, but under this deal, you needed me a lot more than I needed you. That’s why I’m not sorry for what I’m doing. That’s why I wamted to leave…I don’t have time to make sure you get a sweet deal, especially when you’re not even willing to hold up your part of your word that you gave me in August. If you want to start somewhere, start with that promise that you didn’t uphold (hell, Chris Merman even made a joke about it, how girlie the house looked, and my response, “It’ll be alright, once I get the garage going”…and you nodded. Cory even wanted to put his girlie magazine thing in my guy space…I guess that part of “open and honest” doesn’t count because your credit score wasn’t in question…but your integrity sure was.
Now, how about the things you've done once you found out I was moving out? Did you tell all your friends how you started turning on every single light in the house all day, and turning the A/C down to nearly 65? Ah yes, the sure sign of someone who is trying to jack up a bill before not paying for it. And then tried to get my 'share' of the bill money before it was due. Did you once provide a bill saying it was due now? Nope, I was supposed to take your word that it was due now (and my fault that it was due now) despite the fact that I already knew you didn't pay the last month's bill. You accused me of cheating you on the bills...so I told you that all I did was take the amount due, divide by two and ask for that half. I even gave you every bill after that, with my share of the money. I trusted you completely, and I never tried to swindle you. But I know you won't believe that. As for the internet, I already covered that...and I had planned on giving you money for the cable. The reason the internet didn't work was because you unplugged the router that I helped pay for (and you have kept, yet didn't give me my share of the money for...don't worry, I'm not asking for it, I'm just pointing out that technically you're stealing it). And speaking of stealing...you sold my sister's poster at the garage sale...I let that go. You have my dustbuster (the one you joked about as 'phallic' before I moved in), you also have my Trivial Pursuit, and on top of that, you have Spencer's blue blanket that he leant me. I'm letting all that go, too.
The only thing that truly bothers me about this whole mess...not once did I call you names, or attack you. I didn't pull any tricks to try and jack up your bills. And the water got turned off on me, too (or did verifying that it was supposed to be cut off on the 21st, yet was cut off on the 15th not cross your mind?). Why would I turn the water off on myself if all I cared about was myself? Yes, I did want it turned off on the 21st. And I planned on telling you this the weekend before (if you'll notice, the 21st is a Tuesday...that would've given you time on Saturday and on Monday in case they were closed on Saturday to make the call and switch the service...but I'm a mean and vicious uncaring soul who's purpose was to throw 'kinks' at you). All I wanted was out...as quietly and painlessly as possible...but you proved that impossible.
It was always your house, and the only time you even thought about it as mine was when the bills needed paying. My name was on that lease, but you treated it, and me, like it was your house. I wasn't even allowed to keep a few magnets on the refridgerator (I forgot you paid for that, too). The saddest part, you're calling me stalker (speaking of, I don't want to date Sarah, I've told you that to your face, too...I was just trying to be friendly, and if your idea of plain talking is to just say, "Well, Sarah's flaky." (your exact words) then yes, I missed that hint), psycho, unresponsible, and a great numerous other things...you are not letting it go (as you've posted good riddance several times, you keep brining it back up it seems), and all I've done was ignore you and walk away.
And you're supposed to be the Christian one of us.
I know you are very angry. I know someday you will learn to get over all of this and move on. I know that day is a very long way off. I just want you to know that as much as you think I didn't respect you, and used you...you did to me as well. It was your house, never ours (whether my name was on the lease or not). If I had known that's how it would've turned out, I wouldn't have moved in and maybe salvaged a friendship. I will not speak badly of you again. I only hope you can do the same.