(no subject)
My parents wonder why I haven't spoken to them in a while.
I honestly have no idea what to tell them. I have a very long list of reasons why I shouldn't talk to them...but each one makes me feel bad about myself.
A friend of mine said that I have it all backwards. She said they are at fault, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about their actions. She also said I'm too centered on me, and that I can only hurt if I let them hurt me.
That is one of my favorite pieces of advice, and also a line from the Princess Diaries (yes, I saw the movie, yes I'd easily watch it again). The line goes like this, "It's been my experience, your Majesty, that no one can hurt your feelings without your permission."
It's one of my favorite pieces of advice, yet for some reason, easily forgotten when applying it to myself. I'm still not sure how to tell my parents that I don't want to talk to them because I don't trust them, or that I think they only want to yell at me, or make me feel guilty about something, or to get something from me. I don't want to talk to them because I seriously question their ability to love me. I don't want to talk to them because it brings up so many memories that aren't good. Because I don't like being talked down to.
The funniest part...my dad said he missed me.
I guess he meant as a boxer misses a punching bag, but I wonder how many times the punching bag would go back if it had legs to help it walk away.
I honestly have no idea what to tell them. I have a very long list of reasons why I shouldn't talk to them...but each one makes me feel bad about myself.
A friend of mine said that I have it all backwards. She said they are at fault, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about their actions. She also said I'm too centered on me, and that I can only hurt if I let them hurt me.
That is one of my favorite pieces of advice, and also a line from the Princess Diaries (yes, I saw the movie, yes I'd easily watch it again). The line goes like this, "It's been my experience, your Majesty, that no one can hurt your feelings without your permission."
It's one of my favorite pieces of advice, yet for some reason, easily forgotten when applying it to myself. I'm still not sure how to tell my parents that I don't want to talk to them because I don't trust them, or that I think they only want to yell at me, or make me feel guilty about something, or to get something from me. I don't want to talk to them because I seriously question their ability to love me. I don't want to talk to them because it brings up so many memories that aren't good. Because I don't like being talked down to.
The funniest part...my dad said he missed me.
I guess he meant as a boxer misses a punching bag, but I wonder how many times the punching bag would go back if it had legs to help it walk away.