that ol' pakistani ex
Never surprises me with how much grief and insults he took from me. It seems he's finally grown a pair.
I'm going to paste this from a community I wrote this post on cause I don't want to start rehashing and retyping.
He text me last Wednesday about five am asking me to call him. I waited until last night (er, also Wednesday) and got a second text from him saying "You can call me any time tonight". I really don't want to talk to him so I texted back "I'm going to sleep. Just send me a text message with whatever it is you want". So at ONE FUCKING A.M. the phone goes off, frightening the crap out of me, him saying "After your last text message I really must talk to you". (I had sort of been expecting this, I called him some names that while humourous to us, are pretty damn offensive in Islam, and I admit I knew it, too). So, frightened wide awake, I rang him.
He wants the money he "loaned" to me back. Fair enough, not a problem. I always wanted to pay him back, he just would never accept it from me.
He wants it back by March 20th.
He's not stupid. He knows that I wont have that much money by March 20th. He says that's my problem, not his. No, it's very much HIS problem. You can't make money exist where money simply doesn't exist. I told him I could pay him in June. He's moving back to Pakistan (which is probably also another lie, I've lost track of his devious behaviour when it comes to visas). I said I'll give it to one of your friends and they can send it to you. (Hello, Western Union? I want to send money to Pakistan. Oh right, you're not IN Pakistan, are you Amir?) He told me I was talking too quietly. IT'S ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING! I tried to reason with him but he said "No I will not talk to you, you are mumbling." And hung up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if Amir wants his money, it's his responsibility to try to get me at a time when I can talk, and not the other way around? I did say I would call him at seven (a.m.) but I didn't get up until five to eight. He never tried to contact me. He was like this with the wedding as well - it was his visa, but it was my job to do all the work for him. I might just use a normal Western world insult this time: asshole.
I did a budget and worked out that I will have his money by July, or at a push, June. Considering he has given me about four weeks notice on a loan he wouldn't accept repayment of last year, I think I'm being decent enough about it. If he doesn't think so he can take me to the small claims court or something. I wouldn't mind.
Now to be honest, I knew that the insults I was aiming at Amir were specifically insulting in Islam. That's why I used them. Western world insults just bounce off him. It's no use calling him an "asshole", it doesn't bother him. And what's the point in using insults if they don't hit where it hurts? Far from being Islamophobic or racist in using these remarks, it actually shows that I have definitely been studying his religion and culture, like I told him I would.
I realise that Amir is totally entitled to his money that he loaned me. Thing is though, he always refused my repayments and told me he didn't want it back. So now when the money isn't there he comes looking for it. I tried to repay him - he refused. Now all I can do is wait until the money IS available, and repay him. If that isn't good enough then he can persue other avenues.
This is where I do get racist. There are far too many (TRUE) news stories floating around of Islamic honour killings in the UK. And "infidels'" families being targeted because of some slur against Islam. I will never know if Amir is one of them. He always swore he wasn't, but he always swore to be 26, too, and made me feel like a sinner for questioning it. (Turns out he's 34). I can't believe him nor trust him, but I do owe him money.
I was going to ask Ciaran to lend it to me so I can pay him off and avoid possible rebuttals (or attacks). But I already owe Ciaran money. He would give it to me if he thought I was in danger, no issue - but I have too much pride to ask up front.
Amir can have his money on July 1st without doubt, maybe sooner if I don't quite spend as much as my budget read. I am more than happy to have learned how to write budget sheets in college, they're awesome and SO practical. I was adding in bills such as gas and electricity for my house from November to January, which are the times you'd use more heating and lighting. Also I realised two bonus €50s coming my way in the next few months too.
I'm not being unreasonable am I? I know I was cruel to him, and he has every right to demand his money back. But four weeks, it's a bit much to expect! (It's a large sum of money.) Also the fact that he turned down every other repayment and also told me three weeks ago that he didn't want the money back. It's a tall order. I can't be prepared for everyone's mood swings.
I'm going to paste this from a community I wrote this post on cause I don't want to start rehashing and retyping.
He text me last Wednesday about five am asking me to call him. I waited until last night (er, also Wednesday) and got a second text from him saying "You can call me any time tonight". I really don't want to talk to him so I texted back "I'm going to sleep. Just send me a text message with whatever it is you want". So at ONE FUCKING A.M. the phone goes off, frightening the crap out of me, him saying "After your last text message I really must talk to you". (I had sort of been expecting this, I called him some names that while humourous to us, are pretty damn offensive in Islam, and I admit I knew it, too). So, frightened wide awake, I rang him.
He wants the money he "loaned" to me back. Fair enough, not a problem. I always wanted to pay him back, he just would never accept it from me.
He wants it back by March 20th.
He's not stupid. He knows that I wont have that much money by March 20th. He says that's my problem, not his. No, it's very much HIS problem. You can't make money exist where money simply doesn't exist. I told him I could pay him in June. He's moving back to Pakistan (which is probably also another lie, I've lost track of his devious behaviour when it comes to visas). I said I'll give it to one of your friends and they can send it to you. (Hello, Western Union? I want to send money to Pakistan. Oh right, you're not IN Pakistan, are you Amir?) He told me I was talking too quietly. IT'S ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING! I tried to reason with him but he said "No I will not talk to you, you are mumbling." And hung up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if Amir wants his money, it's his responsibility to try to get me at a time when I can talk, and not the other way around? I did say I would call him at seven (a.m.) but I didn't get up until five to eight. He never tried to contact me. He was like this with the wedding as well - it was his visa, but it was my job to do all the work for him. I might just use a normal Western world insult this time: asshole.
I did a budget and worked out that I will have his money by July, or at a push, June. Considering he has given me about four weeks notice on a loan he wouldn't accept repayment of last year, I think I'm being decent enough about it. If he doesn't think so he can take me to the small claims court or something. I wouldn't mind.
Now to be honest, I knew that the insults I was aiming at Amir were specifically insulting in Islam. That's why I used them. Western world insults just bounce off him. It's no use calling him an "asshole", it doesn't bother him. And what's the point in using insults if they don't hit where it hurts? Far from being Islamophobic or racist in using these remarks, it actually shows that I have definitely been studying his religion and culture, like I told him I would.
I realise that Amir is totally entitled to his money that he loaned me. Thing is though, he always refused my repayments and told me he didn't want it back. So now when the money isn't there he comes looking for it. I tried to repay him - he refused. Now all I can do is wait until the money IS available, and repay him. If that isn't good enough then he can persue other avenues.
This is where I do get racist. There are far too many (TRUE) news stories floating around of Islamic honour killings in the UK. And "infidels'" families being targeted because of some slur against Islam. I will never know if Amir is one of them. He always swore he wasn't, but he always swore to be 26, too, and made me feel like a sinner for questioning it. (Turns out he's 34). I can't believe him nor trust him, but I do owe him money.
I was going to ask Ciaran to lend it to me so I can pay him off and avoid possible rebuttals (or attacks). But I already owe Ciaran money. He would give it to me if he thought I was in danger, no issue - but I have too much pride to ask up front.
Amir can have his money on July 1st without doubt, maybe sooner if I don't quite spend as much as my budget read. I am more than happy to have learned how to write budget sheets in college, they're awesome and SO practical. I was adding in bills such as gas and electricity for my house from November to January, which are the times you'd use more heating and lighting. Also I realised two bonus €50s coming my way in the next few months too.
I'm not being unreasonable am I? I know I was cruel to him, and he has every right to demand his money back. But four weeks, it's a bit much to expect! (It's a large sum of money.) Also the fact that he turned down every other repayment and also told me three weeks ago that he didn't want the money back. It's a tall order. I can't be prepared for everyone's mood swings.