(no subject)
ive come to the conclusion:
i'm not happy.
outwardly i may seem like i am ok. but in actuality i'm not ok. i'm really sad, but i've just gotten so damn good at hiding it that i only realize how sad i am when i unexpectedly start tearing/crying.
i dont know how to let go and move on. i've never been good at that, this i know... i wish i knew what was right for me to do. cut off completely? or do what i'm doing now, which is.. actually i dont know what im doing now.
im really really tired of all of this and i wish i didnt care.
and this is only part of what makes me sad...
and i dont want to do this anymore
i'm not happy.
outwardly i may seem like i am ok. but in actuality i'm not ok. i'm really sad, but i've just gotten so damn good at hiding it that i only realize how sad i am when i unexpectedly start tearing/crying.
i dont know how to let go and move on. i've never been good at that, this i know... i wish i knew what was right for me to do. cut off completely? or do what i'm doing now, which is.. actually i dont know what im doing now.
im really really tired of all of this and i wish i didnt care.
and this is only part of what makes me sad...
and i dont want to do this anymore