Fucked
I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I'm feeling really lost and deserted. I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach; I feel like I have no friends. This is so fucked up. I don't wanna go back to school. This feeling is probably just going to multiply when I go back there. Everybody hides there, or maybe it's just my own down falling maybe I just don't pay enough attention. But I don't think that’s it. People just don't want to tell the truth. They walk around acting like somebody else, and refuse to talk about how they're really feeling. It's obvious why, and the reasons are very justifiable. No one feels safe. I know I don't. Social interactions really aren’t my thing. I have trouble fitting in. That's why I don't talk. I don't think anyone cares to listen. I'm important to no one at that school. Last year all I wanted to do was hide to just get away from the humiliation of it all. Hopefully this year will be better. I was optimistic about a week ago, but now I don't know. The pessimism that I try so hard to keep at bay is slowly suffocating me. Even though I have learned so much this summer I can't help but think that it doesn't matter, that it won't change a thing that I’m still going to be an outcast. I just need someone to care. Is that really too much to ask. Maybe.