death.

[jaded_optimist_]

as i found myself asking a coworker to help me commit assisted suicide, i thought to myself, well, things can't really get too much shittier than this, right? and of course, i was wrong.  like, i'm not being overly dramatic; it's really a legitimately shitty situation.  i would elaborate, but i really don't feel that this is the forum.  ask me (

Comments

this is gonna be long

[amicablebitch]

i don't think there's any kind of set standard on the age thing. i think it boils down to personal preference. and it likely matters less if things are strictly sexual. relationships with huge age gaps have both failed and worked out (although i find that they tend to work out for awhile...but then fail later, at the realization of being in different stages of life and wanting different things).

i personally have issues with age differences that are really great, but it varies on where the people are in their lives. like, i don't think a 19 year old and a 25 year old have much in common (or at least, enough in common to sustain them...i think everyone has stuff in common). you have a person barely out of high school and a person graduated college and a few years into a career (assuming things worked out for them) and i consider those people to be on two totally different levels as far as emotions, maturity, experience, etc. but the same age difference between a 23 year old and a 29 year old i don't consider to be as big a deal, because i'd like to think they've both reached a level of maturity by that point that could border on being similar and have a better idea of life goals and what not. i hate to act like college is some huge deciding factor (and for some it's not) but i've occasionally found a big difference in people that go to college and people that don't (and i don't mean on an educational/smart level...i mean more on a social level). college in general gives you certain experiences of interaction and responsibility that people not in college don't always get. but this isn't a definite. i've known people not in college who have gained that interaction and responsibility through whatever jobs they've had instead.

this hits close to home simply because i dated a guy who went from a 19 year old, to me (22/23 at the time) then back down to a 20 year old and a 19 year old and then sorta back to me (then 24)...and he was 27/28/29 during this time, and it bothers me that he would try for what i essentially considered to be children, and that it was a pattern behavior, and he wonders why it doesn't work out (and i'll admit, he's immature on some level, and i'll admit they they're often into him because he sings in a band). so i don't know if guys just think it cool to go with the age difference..like, get the cute little young girl...or get the much older "woman" or whatever.

and that was probably all a bit more than you wanted to hear about it. i guess i just feel that personally i wouldn't have much in common with a 20 year old (i'm 25)...but like, a 23/24 year old wouldn't bother me. i'd probably limit the other direction to like, 32, but only because i'm not really into much older guys and i think 35 would creep me out. and this isn't to say i couldn't be friends with someone much older or younger.

Re: this is gonna be long

[jaded_optimist_]

thanks for taking the time to type me out such feedback...i agree with you on the maturity level, and definitely on the whole "college experience" thing.

and likewise, i "dated" a guy when i was 20/21 when he was 26/27...and you see where that's left me. so yeah.

thanks again, though! :)