the rundown
wed night- good.beer.
thursday- good. turkey. relatives. no beer goddamnit.
friday-good...ish. trixies for a bit. s'posed to hang with leigh...neither oneof us called the other. again:no beer.
saturday- eh. spused to hang with aunt suzie. went out to trixies instead.meijer.firearms.soap.no fucking beer.
suday...TBA.
all in all it sorta sucks. why? because i'm a paranoid idiot and i "know" that some of my friends have been stolen from me by my nemisis this weekend. it angers me. it also angers me that i'm so lax sometimes that event hough i say i'm gonna do somehting, i end up not doing it and doing somehting else instead. i could've done alot more with myself this weekend. but no. i'm a moron. a miserable one at that. becasue i am never happy with the outcomes of the descisions or actions that i choose to make over the original ones.
::sigh:: it bugs me also, that when people have a problem with me, or think that i have a problem with them, or are trying to get on my good side, et. they choose not to talk with me about it. instead they dont say a thing, or go to other people, who eventually tell me about it, and nothing gets done, or its somehting that i'm not supposed to know therefore am rendered unable to help the situation, or i end up becoming paranoid and jump to seroiusly wrong conlusions, becasue i cannot help but mould my behavior according to heresay, or the other persons actions toward me.
am i REALLY that intimidating? i mean, really.
i know when i think that someone is angry with me or upset, i ask them and give them a chance to tell me, and for me to apologize for whatever it was...and i know i TRIED the whole talking bit...butNO. that backired in my face like a nuke. i swear to god.
i just don't understand people at all. and sometimes i wish i were a dog. or maybe a daisy. yeah a nice happy little daisy growing in a field of other daisies just hanging out in the grass, with nothing more on my little flower mind than "hey...is that a bee on my head?"
thats what i want to be in my next life.
thursday- good. turkey. relatives. no beer goddamnit.
friday-good...ish. trixies for a bit. s'posed to hang with leigh...neither oneof us called the other. again:no beer.
saturday- eh. spused to hang with aunt suzie. went out to trixies instead.meijer.firearms.soap.no fucking beer.
suday...TBA.
all in all it sorta sucks. why? because i'm a paranoid idiot and i "know" that some of my friends have been stolen from me by my nemisis this weekend. it angers me. it also angers me that i'm so lax sometimes that event hough i say i'm gonna do somehting, i end up not doing it and doing somehting else instead. i could've done alot more with myself this weekend. but no. i'm a moron. a miserable one at that. becasue i am never happy with the outcomes of the descisions or actions that i choose to make over the original ones.
::sigh:: it bugs me also, that when people have a problem with me, or think that i have a problem with them, or are trying to get on my good side, et. they choose not to talk with me about it. instead they dont say a thing, or go to other people, who eventually tell me about it, and nothing gets done, or its somehting that i'm not supposed to know therefore am rendered unable to help the situation, or i end up becoming paranoid and jump to seroiusly wrong conlusions, becasue i cannot help but mould my behavior according to heresay, or the other persons actions toward me.
am i REALLY that intimidating? i mean, really.
i know when i think that someone is angry with me or upset, i ask them and give them a chance to tell me, and for me to apologize for whatever it was...and i know i TRIED the whole talking bit...butNO. that backired in my face like a nuke. i swear to god.
i just don't understand people at all. and sometimes i wish i were a dog. or maybe a daisy. yeah a nice happy little daisy growing in a field of other daisies just hanging out in the grass, with nothing more on my little flower mind than "hey...is that a bee on my head?"
thats what i want to be in my next life.