everything...starting w/ prom...lets see where it goes from there!
You guys, even though some of you said that you are going to prom w/ me...How many of you have a ticket? I'm still scared that I will be alone...left alone. I started crying today cuz I saw Donnie. Tracy saw. I don't cry for guys. I'm usually like "fuck 'em". Why do I have to care so much for Donnie. I mean I haven't liked him as long as I liked Stephan. Why am I crying for him? Shouldn't I be crying for Stephan back? I'M SO CONFUSED!!!! ;-; Damn one of my friends asked me if I've ever had sex. I know a weird subject to put online but only friends can see this I hope...but like she asked me and I was like..."No.. Why do you ask?" She said cuz she thought that every girl she knew has had sex. Now I feel all ... alone again. like no one likes me enough to even...well...you get what I'm sayin right? It's like I'm "undesirable". I dunno maybe it's cuz I'm so fuckin depressed that I'm thinking about it. I just wish I wasn't so left out of stuff...I wanna be like other people and go out to parties and stuff. I'm still not one to drink but you can have fun w/o drinking. ack my eyes burn. I've been too focused on the Donnie and ... "Her" subject. I need to get my mind off of it. I told Matt that if I have my mind on other stuff that I will be fine. But in class today I was trying so hard to focus on my work and photography, but he came into my head. he seemed so confused. I wouldn't lie to him. I don't lie to anyone. *'cept my parentals...>.>* I am trying to keep my anger to a minimum too. just try and be more..."happy-go-lucky". It's working on the Donnie subject. He thinks I'm being mature about all this and he said that he wishes that she wouldn't be such a baby about all this. I think he only said that cuz I told him that it would be best if we took a break 'til She matured a little more. but yeah. my head hurts. I've cried everyday since that friday. And I don't know what to make of the whole Tracy being there when She was texting me. I'm about to call Tracy. gawd here comes the water works again.
*Suki*
*Suki*