but the best thing for you would be queen, so be queen.
Well, I haven't updated this in a hot minute.
Second semester of senior year. Quite the thing, no? Seems like just yesterday we were all cuddling up together on my bed in Whiteford to watch TCM (not that we don't still do that...just in our living room in our swank ass apartment) and now we're getting ready to go out into the world. So cliche, but where did the time and about $40,000 go? Am I significantly smarter than when I arrived here in Westminster, a silly little 18 year old?
I think so. Wiser, definitely. Maybe. I credit a lot of that "learning" to the friends I've made here. They're a huge part of who I am. Life without them seems bizarre. We've survived blizzards and weddings and floods and blackouts and extremely small living quarters - so distance shouldn't be that big of a problem.
This semester is a bit wild and a lot busier than I would like. Classes and work on M-W, internship in Annapolis on Tuesday and Thursday. My internship, by the way, is amazing and so much more educational and fun than I ever imagined. It's just literally the best experience that I could have asked for (I work for Don Munson, Washington County's State Senator). I can't gush about it enough. It's just....it's everything I've wanted, and that's kind of surprising to me.
I'm gone a lot and when I am here I'm tired. I always plan on getting lots of sleep during the weekends but instead I just end up making more poor decisions and dropping my phone in a toilet at the local bar, drinking too much vodka and trying to break shit in John's kitchen with a hammer while teaching everyone the correct way to pronounce Ke$ha's name, or going to the Ottobar and dancing to Madonna/MJ/Prince mash-ups with fabulous black gay boys.
I'll also just come out and admit that I'm not over you. I always think I am, and then I see you and spend time with you and I'm reminded of how not over you I am and how much that sucks. And there's always that moment (because you see it too) where we go "If things were different, if you were different, if I were different" but they never are and it's too bad, because when we're together it's like we get a glimpse of how it could be - how easy and fine it would be - and it's just not real. Never real. It's been a year, and I feel like we fractured whatever good thing we had and now....there's no trust, and if there's no trust, there's no point.
But it doesn't change how I feel when your hand is on the small of my back.
I'm a little lost right now, but that's nothing new. And it's not necessarily bad, either.
Second semester of senior year. Quite the thing, no? Seems like just yesterday we were all cuddling up together on my bed in Whiteford to watch TCM (not that we don't still do that...just in our living room in our swank ass apartment) and now we're getting ready to go out into the world. So cliche, but where did the time and about $40,000 go? Am I significantly smarter than when I arrived here in Westminster, a silly little 18 year old?
I think so. Wiser, definitely. Maybe. I credit a lot of that "learning" to the friends I've made here. They're a huge part of who I am. Life without them seems bizarre. We've survived blizzards and weddings and floods and blackouts and extremely small living quarters - so distance shouldn't be that big of a problem.
This semester is a bit wild and a lot busier than I would like. Classes and work on M-W, internship in Annapolis on Tuesday and Thursday. My internship, by the way, is amazing and so much more educational and fun than I ever imagined. It's just literally the best experience that I could have asked for (I work for Don Munson, Washington County's State Senator). I can't gush about it enough. It's just....it's everything I've wanted, and that's kind of surprising to me.
I'm gone a lot and when I am here I'm tired. I always plan on getting lots of sleep during the weekends but instead I just end up making more poor decisions and dropping my phone in a toilet at the local bar, drinking too much vodka and trying to break shit in John's kitchen with a hammer while teaching everyone the correct way to pronounce Ke$ha's name, or going to the Ottobar and dancing to Madonna/MJ/Prince mash-ups with fabulous black gay boys.
I'll also just come out and admit that I'm not over you. I always think I am, and then I see you and spend time with you and I'm reminded of how not over you I am and how much that sucks. And there's always that moment (because you see it too) where we go "If things were different, if you were different, if I were different" but they never are and it's too bad, because when we're together it's like we get a glimpse of how it could be - how easy and fine it would be - and it's just not real. Never real. It's been a year, and I feel like we fractured whatever good thing we had and now....there's no trust, and if there's no trust, there's no point.
But it doesn't change how I feel when your hand is on the small of my back.
I'm a little lost right now, but that's nothing new. And it's not necessarily bad, either.