fuck me im misrible
i think i might love him .. and maybe i just dont know what it is.
god i look at the girls that i hung out with in high school and im so disapointed at so many of the decisions they have made. it grosses me out. how much they have changed. how numb they have become to morals. how imature some are. people try so hard to apear happy on the outside. why?? dont fake it. dont try to fit in with the croud - they dont like you either way. grow up .. if your going to live then be yourself not some fuckin pin cusion to brag about!
today i came to the determination that all the things that i wanted to live for ... i dont even want n e more.
giving me no reason to live. i can not think of ne thing in the futer worth looking farward to. worth going though this shit for. nothing is worth it ne more. dont want to be merried ever . dont want to have kids. dont want to work dont want money/cloths/cars... take me away
i love being with him. i miss him. it will never be and i know this . it will never be more then it is. and what it is just makes me more depressed then if it never was. him kissing my cheek just makes my heart melt. knowing it wont be for mounths untill i ever feel so good if ever again the way i do when im laying in his arms.
its only with him. everyone else is just lust. for the past 3 years his has always had something more.
i cant do this anymore.
god i look at the girls that i hung out with in high school and im so disapointed at so many of the decisions they have made. it grosses me out. how much they have changed. how numb they have become to morals. how imature some are. people try so hard to apear happy on the outside. why?? dont fake it. dont try to fit in with the croud - they dont like you either way. grow up .. if your going to live then be yourself not some fuckin pin cusion to brag about!
today i came to the determination that all the things that i wanted to live for ... i dont even want n e more.
giving me no reason to live. i can not think of ne thing in the futer worth looking farward to. worth going though this shit for. nothing is worth it ne more. dont want to be merried ever . dont want to have kids. dont want to work dont want money/cloths/cars... take me away
i love being with him. i miss him. it will never be and i know this . it will never be more then it is. and what it is just makes me more depressed then if it never was. him kissing my cheek just makes my heart melt. knowing it wont be for mounths untill i ever feel so good if ever again the way i do when im laying in his arms.
its only with him. everyone else is just lust. for the past 3 years his has always had something more.
i cant do this anymore.