a night in the bizarre social life of the "Alan"
[The scene: late-night. a porch in mid-summer Alabama. three 20-somethings sit on various chairs, holding drinks befitting their age. A phone rings.]
Girl: Oh, shit, it's Double-D.
Guy #1: Hand it over, baby.
[Girl hands phone to Guy #1]
Guy #1: Bebe's phone.
[unintelligible discussion]
Guy #1: Cheesey-fries and a burger? You must have the wrong number. Please don't call this number again.
[Guy #1 hangs up.]
Guy #1: No problem, babe.
[phone rings again]
Guy #1: Hello?
[more off-stage dialogue, in the style of "Peanuts"]
Guy #1: No, Bebe is unavailable right now, but if you want, you can talk to her boyfriend.
[off-stage lines]
Guy #1: That would be Aaron.
[Guy #1 hands phone to Guy #2. Both Girl and Guy #2 laugh.
Guy #2: Hey, what's up?
Phone: Hey, this is Double-D. How are you doing?
Guy #2: I'm doing all-right. I'm having a drink on the porch with a couple good friends, here. What are you up to?
Phone: Oh, I'm just calling for Bebe, to give her a shout out from Hole-in-the-Wall, Alabama.
Guy #2: Well, that sounds like some town from out in the sticks.
Phone: Yeah, it pretty much is. Go driving down some random highway in Alabama and then get lost, and you won't be too far away.
[Guy #2 laughs]
Guy #2: Sounds like I've been there before.
Phone: Yeah, you may have driven through once or twice. Is Bebe there?
[Guy #2 looks over at Girl. Girl is giggling, but shakes her head.]
Guy #2: Bebe seems to be down for the count, right now, but if you'd like to leave a message, we can make sure it gets to her.
Phone: Cool. Just give her a shout-out from Hole-in-the-Wall, Alabama. That's all I was really calling for.
Guy #2: Can do, buddy. Anything else?
[Guy #2 nods]
Guy #2: OK, take it easy, buddy.
[Guy #2 hangs up. turns to Guy #1, laughing]
Guy #2: Don't do that to me again, dude.
[Scene fades to black.]
Girl: Oh, shit, it's Double-D.
Guy #1: Hand it over, baby.
[Girl hands phone to Guy #1]
Guy #1: Bebe's phone.
[unintelligible discussion]
Guy #1: Cheesey-fries and a burger? You must have the wrong number. Please don't call this number again.
[Guy #1 hangs up.]
Guy #1: No problem, babe.
[phone rings again]
Guy #1: Hello?
[more off-stage dialogue, in the style of "Peanuts"]
Guy #1: No, Bebe is unavailable right now, but if you want, you can talk to her boyfriend.
[off-stage lines]
Guy #1: That would be Aaron.
[Guy #1 hands phone to Guy #2. Both Girl and Guy #2 laugh.
Guy #2: Hey, what's up?
Phone: Hey, this is Double-D. How are you doing?
Guy #2: I'm doing all-right. I'm having a drink on the porch with a couple good friends, here. What are you up to?
Phone: Oh, I'm just calling for Bebe, to give her a shout out from Hole-in-the-Wall, Alabama.
Guy #2: Well, that sounds like some town from out in the sticks.
Phone: Yeah, it pretty much is. Go driving down some random highway in Alabama and then get lost, and you won't be too far away.
[Guy #2 laughs]
Guy #2: Sounds like I've been there before.
Phone: Yeah, you may have driven through once or twice. Is Bebe there?
[Guy #2 looks over at Girl. Girl is giggling, but shakes her head.]
Guy #2: Bebe seems to be down for the count, right now, but if you'd like to leave a message, we can make sure it gets to her.
Phone: Cool. Just give her a shout-out from Hole-in-the-Wall, Alabama. That's all I was really calling for.
Guy #2: Can do, buddy. Anything else?
[Guy #2 nods]
Guy #2: OK, take it easy, buddy.
[Guy #2 hangs up. turns to Guy #1, laughing]
Guy #2: Don't do that to me again, dude.
[Scene fades to black.]