(no subject)
I spent most of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day rendered unconscious by the nastiest cold I’ve had in recent memory. My body muscles were in a unified spasm of pain and my head was filled with this unearthly pressure that I thought for sure would dislodge my eyeballs. However, after extended periods of rest, I think I’m finally gaining the upper hand. I at least got my sense of taste back and just enjoyed a cup of coffee that didn’t taste like mucus.
Portland’s been bitterly cold, and it even snowed for a couple of days. Besides sleeping, my brother and I have idled away in front of a seemingly endless stream of action movies. Not necessarily a bad thing, but the company could have been better. I also plowed through a couple of novels, trying to make up for the time lost when I was too sick to read. My eyes are feeling like they’ve grown fur, maybe from too much visual stimuli.
There have been some highlights: sneaking in another 6 episodes of Heroes (Sheera, I was thinking of you the whole time!), discovering Portland has citywide free Wi-Fi that is free because you have to click out of an advertisement every time you open a new page, and eating really good sushi at this neat but crowded sushi bar where the little plates go round on a carousel and you pick them up and their prices depend on the color of the plate.
So I’ll be back in town tomorrow night… My mom’s picking me up from the airport. After that, I’m going to need a very, very long break from my family. I have to give up the delusion that if only I show that I love them enough, I can somehow wind up with them on the other side of all the loathsome, unspeakable things in our past and we can be happy. But I don’t think that any amount of hoping can ever surmount the barely hidden resentments, the unhealed fractures, the festering accusations…
Well, here’s to the coming new year. I’m looking forward to it.
Portland’s been bitterly cold, and it even snowed for a couple of days. Besides sleeping, my brother and I have idled away in front of a seemingly endless stream of action movies. Not necessarily a bad thing, but the company could have been better. I also plowed through a couple of novels, trying to make up for the time lost when I was too sick to read. My eyes are feeling like they’ve grown fur, maybe from too much visual stimuli.
There have been some highlights: sneaking in another 6 episodes of Heroes (Sheera, I was thinking of you the whole time!), discovering Portland has citywide free Wi-Fi that is free because you have to click out of an advertisement every time you open a new page, and eating really good sushi at this neat but crowded sushi bar where the little plates go round on a carousel and you pick them up and their prices depend on the color of the plate.
So I’ll be back in town tomorrow night… My mom’s picking me up from the airport. After that, I’m going to need a very, very long break from my family. I have to give up the delusion that if only I show that I love them enough, I can somehow wind up with them on the other side of all the loathsome, unspeakable things in our past and we can be happy. But I don’t think that any amount of hoping can ever surmount the barely hidden resentments, the unhealed fractures, the festering accusations…
Well, here’s to the coming new year. I’m looking forward to it.