Using this AGAIN? Weird.
Every time something like tragedy happens in my family, I turn to God for my strength. Every time something like tragedy happens in my family, I turn to something a little different for my inspiration.
I turn to New Orleans for my source of renewal. I turn to vampires for my inspiration to keep going, keep writing and get me, mentally I guess, through whatever it is I've been put through. I don't see this as a bad thing, for those who would worry about where my thinking might be heading. I did put God first, after all. God is my rock, and will always be. Vampires, mythology and my beloved New Orleans is my... state of mind, per se. It's incredibly difficult to explain, and I'm not sure why I'm trying, but writing has always made me feel better.
Tonight in LA feels like a Spring night (or even a fall night) in New Orleans. It reminds me of my second home to the point of homesickness. I miss her desperately sometimes, my city. It holds such absolute inspiration for me. It keeps mystery, it always surprises me. Tonight I miss New Orleans like I miss a friend who's moved away. Probably more, actually.
I downloaded all of Lestat: The Musical a week or two ago, and I'm absolutely addicted. It's not even very good, hell it was canceled a month into its Broadway run or something crazy like that. But I can't stop listening to it. I'm writing poetry again, I'm listening to Depeche Mode, the Cure and Anberlin again. This is how I deal with things, I guess. I get more Gothy, I suppose. And I really don't mind... I love this part of me. I do some of my best writing when I'm all Gothed-out.
But why Vampires? Not Twilight vampires (which I love, don't get me wrong), but honest-to-goodness die-with-the-sun vampires? Lestat, Claudia, Dracula (well, not so much Dracula), Armand... and most especially Louis. Yes, I relate to that depressed rat-sucking vampire more than many of the others. Lestat I relate to very much, but only up until he gets to Paris. After that he becomes too far removed from humanity... but Louis. He constantly struggles with the idea of humanity. He never wants to lose it, but knows he is damned. He's depressed. I'm depressed. It fits. I understand how he wants to be a part of humanity, so do I. But now I'm sounding like a whiny goth kid, so I'll move on (he's whiny, too. We're a pair).
What's the point of this entry? I've lost it. I can't remember. I probably just want to get my thoughts out on virtual paper. I just noticed how I revert to New Orleans and Vampires whenever times get tough. I think it's a little weird, but sometimes I look forward to those times as a writer. It's a lot easier to write when one isn't entirely happy. My best work comes out when I feel this way. It's kind of nice.
Wow, that makes me sound crazy. Lovely.
I turn to New Orleans for my source of renewal. I turn to vampires for my inspiration to keep going, keep writing and get me, mentally I guess, through whatever it is I've been put through. I don't see this as a bad thing, for those who would worry about where my thinking might be heading. I did put God first, after all. God is my rock, and will always be. Vampires, mythology and my beloved New Orleans is my... state of mind, per se. It's incredibly difficult to explain, and I'm not sure why I'm trying, but writing has always made me feel better.
Tonight in LA feels like a Spring night (or even a fall night) in New Orleans. It reminds me of my second home to the point of homesickness. I miss her desperately sometimes, my city. It holds such absolute inspiration for me. It keeps mystery, it always surprises me. Tonight I miss New Orleans like I miss a friend who's moved away. Probably more, actually.
I downloaded all of Lestat: The Musical a week or two ago, and I'm absolutely addicted. It's not even very good, hell it was canceled a month into its Broadway run or something crazy like that. But I can't stop listening to it. I'm writing poetry again, I'm listening to Depeche Mode, the Cure and Anberlin again. This is how I deal with things, I guess. I get more Gothy, I suppose. And I really don't mind... I love this part of me. I do some of my best writing when I'm all Gothed-out.
But why Vampires? Not Twilight vampires (which I love, don't get me wrong), but honest-to-goodness die-with-the-sun vampires? Lestat, Claudia, Dracula (well, not so much Dracula), Armand... and most especially Louis. Yes, I relate to that depressed rat-sucking vampire more than many of the others. Lestat I relate to very much, but only up until he gets to Paris. After that he becomes too far removed from humanity... but Louis. He constantly struggles with the idea of humanity. He never wants to lose it, but knows he is damned. He's depressed. I'm depressed. It fits. I understand how he wants to be a part of humanity, so do I. But now I'm sounding like a whiny goth kid, so I'll move on (he's whiny, too. We're a pair).
What's the point of this entry? I've lost it. I can't remember. I probably just want to get my thoughts out on virtual paper. I just noticed how I revert to New Orleans and Vampires whenever times get tough. I think it's a little weird, but sometimes I look forward to those times as a writer. It's a lot easier to write when one isn't entirely happy. My best work comes out when I feel this way. It's kind of nice.
Wow, that makes me sound crazy. Lovely.