Private - Kill the words
When is this week going to be over? It's just been dragging by, hour by trickling hour. This has not been my week, let alone my year. So much for starting the year off right.
What really bothers me about it all is that I didn't see it coming at all. Even with all the overtures, hints, and flat out sayings, I never thought about it. Actually, no, what really bothers me is that Miyako was right. Oh, Iori, you and Noriko huh? Hint, hint; nudge, nudge. Then Noriko decides to... I'm still having trouble believing it. She's become a great friend, maybe even my best friend. We get along well; we understand each other.
So why didn't I see this coming? Am I really that dense?
I hurt her, too. I didn't mean to but I just didn't know what to say. I ended up giving her some lame excuse about needing time to think - not that it isn't true. We've hardly spent anytime together outside of school this week. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt by that. It's nice not to have her making sad eyes at me (she does that enough at school, even if she thinks I don't see it) but I don't want this to ruin our friendship. Not that it looks like I have a choice in that matter...
I just don't know what to tell her.
What's more, how am I supposed to make these types of decisions when people keep making me second guess myself? Daisuke's been texting me: Are you sure you got it right? Maybe you jumped to conclusions. Ha!
It grates on my nerves. I'm trying my hardest to move on; I've done everything I can think of to do it. Therapy, get a life, remove/destroy any and all objects given to me or that held some memory, cut my hair, removed my tattoo. There's nothing left of him and yet he lingers. It lingers. Why can't Daisuke just drop it?
Maybe I need to hate him to finally get over him, but how am I supposed to do that when Daisuke keeps bring it back up? What if I was wrong? ...no, that's stupid. I was right, I know I was.
...I have to be.
What really bothers me about it all is that I didn't see it coming at all. Even with all the overtures, hints, and flat out sayings, I never thought about it. Actually, no, what really bothers me is that Miyako was right. Oh, Iori, you and Noriko huh? Hint, hint; nudge, nudge. Then Noriko decides to... I'm still having trouble believing it. She's become a great friend, maybe even my best friend. We get along well; we understand each other.
So why didn't I see this coming? Am I really that dense?
I hurt her, too. I didn't mean to but I just didn't know what to say. I ended up giving her some lame excuse about needing time to think - not that it isn't true. We've hardly spent anytime together outside of school this week. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt by that. It's nice not to have her making sad eyes at me (she does that enough at school, even if she thinks I don't see it) but I don't want this to ruin our friendship. Not that it looks like I have a choice in that matter...
I just don't know what to tell her.
What's more, how am I supposed to make these types of decisions when people keep making me second guess myself? Daisuke's been texting me: Are you sure you got it right? Maybe you jumped to conclusions. Ha!
It grates on my nerves. I'm trying my hardest to move on; I've done everything I can think of to do it. Therapy, get a life, remove/destroy any and all objects given to me or that held some memory, cut my hair, removed my tattoo. There's nothing left of him and yet he lingers. It lingers. Why can't Daisuke just drop it?
Maybe I need to hate him to finally get over him, but how am I supposed to do that when Daisuke keeps bring it back up? What if I was wrong? ...no, that's stupid. I was right, I know I was.
...I have to be.