IC Post and OOC Question (As Usual)
*the writing is smooth and looped, as if the writer is relaxed*
It is strange how accustomed one can become to another person without even realizing it. The Magister has been a presence in my life for many months now and his sudden absence has proven to be both noticeable and extremely inconvenient.
I have no one to hide behind.
The very idea that I require someone to shield me is galling, but true. I am no longer able to be at the forefront because I no longer know how. There was a time when I was capable of hiding in plain sight, of lying with the truth and of being known but anonymous. Things have changed.
No sooner had the Magister burned his tome then did the messages from those concerned friends of his begin to flood my backpages. Even that tart of a Worgen woman had the nerve to message me, would that I could have killed her through the pages.
They inquired of his wellbeing, whether or not he meant to confront the Highlord, and one even offered his help in such a case. What foolishness. Aenstrian is not so dumb as to seek out the Highlord and challenge him directly. How many blood smears have we seen in the tome? We learn from the mistakes of others.
(It’s worth knowing that Gin would fight for Felix, though. Whether he knows it or not, that means he fights for me. For Them.)
And I’ll never believe that Snowmoth intended to pursue the matter beyond the judging pages of the tome. The panic he incited in me when he claimed that there was a sort of tracking device in these books is still clear in my mind, but I let *inkblot* something get the better of me for those few moments. He lied to me and I should have expected no better from a corpse.
But the Magister was still distraught. And angry. So we chose to pay the Highlord off, much as it irked me to do so. Money is nothing, even when examined through a *inkblot* normal perspective. There is no price too high when it comes to having peace of mind. Of having silence.
It doesn’t mean I enjoy feeling as though I was outsmarted.
Nevertheless the Magister has returned to the tome, his banter with the King visible from where I sit writing this. With some luck we will be able to remake all the engagements that we missed due to his ‘troubles’ and my...ineptitude.
That is something that I can no longer ignore. My own shortcomings could have undone me if this trouble had gone much further, and there is something spectacularly shameful in that knowledge. I have privately admitted these things to myself but have taken no real steps to remedy the problem, citing my higher calling as an excuse to avoid seeing what I’ve become. My own greatest weakness.
I have blamed the Gods for my failings, claimed that their voices prevented me from thinking clearly for more than a precious moment. How merciful that they did not rend my mind to pieces for my arrogance and cowardice.
I will show them that their kindness is not misplaced.
*inkblot*
Blast, Wayblade is raging in the back pages. *inkblot* Fortunately I have both the time and the inclination to test my patience against his histrionics tonight. With a bit of luck this will mark the beginning of my resolutions to improvement. I will meet him.
*a different ink as if the writer had switched pens. Or left and picked a new one on return.*
LESS THAN FANTASTIC.
*a smear of blood*
OOC: Herp, Jad is totally in control of his actions and can function JUST fine in society and why are you running away? :c
I mentioned in a previous post that Jad has a bit of an issue with names, specifically that he doesn’t use them. In this particular piece Jad refers to Aenstrian by his name, his nickname (Felix) and by his title (Magister). These are three separate people as far as Jad’s concerned, or they might as well be. He needs the Magister, hates Felix, and identifies with Aenstrian.
I suppose the issue isn’t so much that Jad won’t use names (that’s an obvious attempt to dehumanize people), but that he does begin assign multiple nicknames to people. He’s mentally separating one aspect of a person’s personality from another when he does that, not that he probably likes any of them. If Jad consciously uses the REAL name it’s usually not a good sign. That person now has his undivided attention and he very rarely has the focus to do that. It’s usually fuelled by anger.
All this to say, while it’s not his biggest quirk it’s definitely one of my favourites. I also never meant for it to happen. So:
Sometimes characters will decide that they should write themselves. While this is always fun, it does result in the occasional pause followed by "and when did -that- get there?". What's the most prominent case of that happening to you?
My question and the small explanation attached are almost half as long as the piece itself. One day I'll learn to flesh out my writing so I don't get embarrassed like this. Until then, it's your fault. ._.