Fuck the World
I hate exams.
I haven't been here in ages. I haven't updated in weeks. I'm so sorry about that. Blame it on the HSC. Because of the fucking thing, I haven't been able to do anything. I'm only like halfway through just about every new fanfic Sherry and Carol have fantastically written, I haven't been able to write any of my own in a while, or at least complete them/beta them and whatever. And that's sooooo not helping me. Cause writing is good for my soul. Or so I hear.
And if the exams aren't stressing me out enough, my past is coming back to bit me on the ass really hard. I mean, I'm trying to clean up, and I thought I was doing great. But now some fucking phsyco I used to call my friend is threatening me and telling me to go back to that scene. Never mind I've just spent the past twelve months cleaning up and changing just about everything in my life associated with him. So I told him to fuck off, and now I'm getting the useless yet sometimes frightening threats. They mean nothing, they're just a whole load of shit so I'm not taking them seriously, but it's still taking up a lot of my thoughts. It shouldn't, but it is.
But whatever.
I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying to concentrate on studying and getting good marks and all that shit. But I've got too much on my mind.
Then there's the whole father thing. I've chosen to just let it slide, until something else comes up. Cause I don't need to be thinking about him at this point in time. Too much other shit is going on.
And Kaitlyn's not getting any better. It's been months ever since her operation. Her plasters have come off, her scars are healing dramatically, and yet she's still screaming and carrying on. Getting her to walk with Mom to the fucking toilet down the hall is just hell. So now Mom's having a panic attack that she'll never get better, and she hasn't made any progress, and now it's my top priority to assure her that it's all gonna be okay in the end.
I need to take a relaxing bubblebath. With candles.
I can't wait to get away from it all. New York, New York, I'm comin' baby!