Fic: New Perspective: Spencer
Title: New Perspective: Spencer
Author: jacqui_hw
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Brendon
Word Count: 2,400
Warnings: Language, pure unadulterated fluff
Summary: Post-split. After the Blink tour, Spencer, Brendon, Ryan and Jon decide to take a trip together to reconnect.
AN: I make no apologies for the fluffiness of this fic. It's what I needed. I think it's what we all need right now.
"You know what we need?" Brendon said right before they went on stage, on their last night of the Blink tour.
"What?" Spencer asked, bouncing a little in the face of Brendon's excitement, as he tapped out a rhythm in the air.
Brendon grinned and ran on stage without answering.
"Asshole," Spencer shouted as he followed him.
---
The thing about being best friends with someone for sixteen years is that somewhere along the way you stop talking. Not because you don't want to talk to the other person, not because you've run out of things to say, but because you don't need to say anything.
One night, long ago, before the band, before Brendon even, Spencer and Ryan had been lying on the grass in Spencer's backyard, watching the stars and Ryan had said, seemingly out nowhere, "It's ten years today since we met."
That was the moment Spencer realised his best friend was a huge sap. He'd nudged Ryan and they'd both laughed, until Ryan had rolled over to look down at Spencer and said, "No, really, wait. I want to say this." He'd taken a deep breath and closed his eyes and stuttered, "I love you," so quickly Spencer wanted to laugh.
He didn't laugh though, because this was Ryan and this was important.
"I love you too," he said back and smiled as Ryan relaxed and lay back down.
They didn't say anything else all night and by some unspoken agreement, knew they'd never have to say it again.
---
Spencer's phone was buzzing when they got back to the dressing room.
"We need a vacation," Brendon said, as Spencer picked it up to answer.
"We need a vacation," Ryan said a second later and Spencer blinked in surprise then narrowed his eyes at Brendon.
"You planned this?" he asked as Brendon grinned and started to change. "I didn't think you two were talking."
"We made up," Ryan said flatly. "We need a vacation. All of us."
"I thought the point of breaking up was that we didn't all have to do things together anymore," Spencer said, more amused than anything.
"But we're not doing it because we have to. We're doing it because we want to." Ryan sounded smug. It matched the look on Brendon's face.
"Okay," Spencer agreed easily. "Where are we going?"
---
Ryan and Brendon had the strangest relationship of any two people Spencer had ever met.
On tour they'd drape themselves over each other and whisper and giggle together like fourteen year old girls. Put them in a studio together and they'd scream at each other until they were both purple with rage and the instruments were in danger of being thrown across the room.
The two weeks before "the split" became official the four of them had more meetings than Spencer cared to remember and Ryan and Brendon had been as quiet and careful with each other as Spencer had ever seen them. The month after, they hadn't spoken one word to each other.
Now, well...
"Brendon and I are sitting together," Ryan announced when they stood up to board the five hour flight from LAX to Honolulu. Brendon looked positively gleeful.
"Suits me," Jon said wrapping his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "I get the grand prize."
Spencer was secretly relieved.
True to form, Ryan and Brendon spent the first hour of the flight giggling with each other and tossing gummibears at Spencer and Jon over the back of the seat.
"Tell the truth," Jon said with a sly grin, "You missed this."
Spencer opened his mouth to tell Jon that yes, actually, he missed this a lot, when Brendon's voice, suddenly louder, cut across him.
"Actually Ryan, this is your intervention."
Spencer groaned. Jon buried his face in the complimentary pillow and started to laugh. Ryan slapped Brendon. Hard.
"I didn't miss this," Spencer muttered.
---
Brendon was still trying to apologise three hours later. Ryan was a lot closer to forgiving him, Spencer could tell, because the hitting, kicking and pinching had all stopped and Brendon's head had now been on Ryan's shoulder for twenty minutes.
"Ryan, I'm sorry. It was a joke. You know how I am. It was funny. Come on, you have to admit it was funny."
Spencer didn't think Ryan was ever going to admit that. He kicked the back of Ryan's seat.
"Okay fine, Jesus," Ryan snapped. "Just stop talking. Don't you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?"
Brendon fell silent. Jon's shoulders started to shake with silent laughter again.
"Not really," Brendon responded after a good five minutes of thinking time. Spencer snorted into his drink. "You miss me talking when I'm not around. Be honest. Now that I'm gone most of the time, don't you appreciate me that much more?"
Jon burst out laughing, which started Spencer off. Brendon and Ryan both peered over the back of their seats at them.
"Jon Walker, you do miss me. Tell me you do," Brendon demanded, kneeling up on his seat. Ryan's eyes sparkled with amused affection as he watched Brendon. His hand slid between the seat and the wall, reaching for Spencer's.
Spencer didn't hesitate in taking it.
---
Jon had booked a luxury suite on the beachfront. It had a living room, kitchen, private terrace and two bedrooms.
"Because we're never all going to share like this again," Jon had said and if there was something little melancholy in his voice when he said it, no one mentioned it. They all felt the same.
"I'm sharing with Jon," Spencer said, as soon as they stepped into the suite.
"Good," Brendon said, pulling a face at Spencer and grabbing Ryan's hand. "Lets check out our room."
Ryan allowed himself to be dragged along, while Spencer walked over and pushed open the doors to the terrace and beyond that the beach.
"This was a good idea," he said quietly, hearing Jon walk up behind him. "Was it yours?"
"No," Jon replied just as quietly. "I just helped with the planning."
Spencer closed his eyes and breathed everything in. "Lets make it an annual thing yeah?"
Jon laughed and wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders, pulling him closer. "Definitely."
---
They didn't go out that night. They sat on the terrace, listening to the sound of the waves on the shore and the music that drifted along the beach from a distant bar. The drank beer and played poker, (substituting the brightly colored pebbles from one of the decorative vases for chips) and talked more than they had in a long time. They talked about everything. The last tour, the first tour, meeting Brendon, meeting Pete, Brent, Jon...
Ryan's head fell back as he dissolved into laughter and he gave an excited clap, when Brendon recalled singing A Whole New World with Jon at their first meeting and then launched into the first verse. Jon naturally joined in as Jasmine. Spencer watched them all and thought that even if none of them ever played music together again, he'd be happy so long as they stayed like this.
---
"Spencer."
Spencer knew he was dreaming, because Jon knew better than to shake him awake at whatever ungodly hour of the morning it was.
"Spencer, I'm sorry, but you have to wake up."
"No," Spencer groaned, though it was no use. He was awake and he wasn't getting back to sleep. "Why do I?"
"Dolphins!" Brendon shouted from the living room. "Come on, get up. Even Ross is up. Ow, Ryan, stop it, that hurts...."
"Are the dolphins attacking us?" Spencer asked Jon, yawning.
Jon smiled down at him and shook his head. "No, we have to go swimming with them. It'll be fun."
Spencer thought that sleep was fun too and the dolphins would still be there when it wasn't... "Seven AM? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"If you get up, I'll make you some coffee."
It wasn't fair, Spencer thought as he pushed the covers back and padded over to the en-suite bathroom, that Jon Walker should be so convincing all the damn time.
---
"Come for a walk?" Jon asked as they made their way back along trail from the town that evening. Ryan and Brendon had stumbled ahead, not drunk but pleasantly buzzed, arms wrapped around each others shoulders, singing Fall Out Boy songs like they used to, right back at the beginning. Spencer nodded and followed Jon off the track and down towards the water. They bumped shoulders as they walked, a comfortable silence between them that neither felt the need to fill.
Eventually they stopped and sat. Spencer pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek on them, watching Jon.
"Are you happy?"
Jon didn't look surprised by the question. "Right now I'm one hundred percent happy."
Spencer nodded. "Me too."
Jon smiled and Spencer wondered how it was possible that, with everything there was to see right here, right now, all he wanted to do was watch Jon smile.
---
It was the third night when it happened.
They'd spent the day on the beach. Brendon had gone surfing and Ryan had sat in the shade writing. They drank Pina Coladas and tossed a football around and eventually Jon dragged them all up to build a sandcastle. After half an hour this dissolved into them all tackling him and carrying him down to throw him into the sea.
They had dinner on the terrace again and shared a bottle of wine. Spencer noticed the way Ryan's eyes kept drifting to Brendon and tried not let his own linger too long on Jon.
Ryan started yawning at ten. Jon snickered into his wine glass after half an hour. Spencer kicked Brendon.
"Ow! Spencer what the fuck?"
"Ryan's tired, so wish him goodnight so he can go to bed," Jon said, clearly amused.
Brendon seemed bemused by the whole thing. "Um, goodnight?"
Ryan rolled his eyes and murmured a goodnight. Spencer pretended to ignore the way Ryan's fingers brushed Brendon's shoulder as he passed.
Brendon's eyes went wide as though he'd just figured something out and Spencer couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up at that.
They sat for a another half an hour, with Brendon suddenly silent and constantly fidgeting until Jon put him out of his misery and stood up. "I think it's time for bed."
"Yeah," Brendon said quickly as he jumped up. "Yeah it's getting late. Night guys." He all but ran inside.
Spencer and Jon cleared away the plates and glasses, then walked companionably back to their room. Jon disappeared into the bathroom to clean up and change for bed. Spencer switched off the light and pulled back the curtain to let the moonlight stream through.
The bathroom door opened behind him and Spencer turned his head to see Jon framed in the doorway, watching him.
In the next room, Ryan moaned.
Jon snorted and then bit down on his fist to stop himself giggling, shaking with mirth. Spencer watched him, struggling to fight his own laughter.
"There's a noise you never want to hear your best friend make," Spencer said and Jon gave in to the laughter and collapsed onto his bed, biting down on the blankets to stifle the noise.
---
They ate breakfast together as normal the next morning, and then walked down to the beach to swim. Jon gave Brendon a piggy back ride and Ryan and Spencer settled down on two sun loungers to enjoy the sun.
"So," Spencer drawled eventually. "Brendon."
"Don't," Ryan said, pushing his sunglasses firmly onto his face.
Spencer shrugged. "Dude. Like I care."
Ryan rolled onto his side and started to smile.
"I'm the little duck!" Brendon shouted from half way down the beach. Jon stood, doubled up with laughter next to him as he crowed to another group of teenagers. "I'm the little duck."
Ryan had turned bright red. "Oh my God."
"Kudos," Spencer said, grinning brightly. "Big duck."
"Fuck you," Ryan groaned.
"Don't be embarrassed," Spencer told him, reaching for his hand. Ryan gripped it tightly. "We're good."
Jon walked over to them and sat down next to Spencer, pulling Spencer's feet into his lap. Brendon bounded up and knelt on the bottom of Ryan's lounger, slowly crawling up over Ryan until he was straddling his hips.
"Big duck," he said solemnly, but his lips were quivering.
Ryan glanced at Spencer and Jon, his face still red, but his eyes shining with... something, when he turned his attention back to Brendon and nuzzled his nose against Brendon's stomach. "Little duck."
---
That night Brendon and Ryan never even made it out of their room.
Spencer and Jon took a picnic down to the beach and watched the sunset.
"Home soon," Jon said quietly as the last of the pink faded from the sky. "Back to reality."
"What's reality?" Spencer asked, lying down on the blanket they'd taken from the closet. "Did you ever think, this time last year...?"
"No," Jon interrupted quickly. "Not at Christmas or Easter either."
"Do you regret it?" Spencer cursed his voice for breaking then.
"None of us were happy Spence. Not one of us." Jon's voice was soft and gentle. Spencer stared up at the stars as they began to appear and braced himself against it.
"That's not what I asked."
"No," Jon said, firmly, assuredly. "No, I don't."
Spencer wanted to get up and run, and keep running until he was back watching the same stars in his parents garden, with Ryan, all those years ago. Nothing could hurt him back then. Nothing could touch him.
"If it hadn't happened," Jon murmured against his ear and Spencer jumped slightly. He hadn't even noticed Jon move. "If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here, with you, like this."
The kiss, when it came, was nothing like Spencer had imagined for the past, however many years. Jon's lips were firm and insistent, urging Spencer closer, searching, asking for more, more, more. Spencer was happy to give Jon anything and everything he wanted.
The world had righted itself again.
New Perspective: Ryan
New Perspective: Jon
New Perspective: Brendon
Author: jacqui_hw
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Brendon
Word Count: 2,400
Warnings: Language, pure unadulterated fluff
Summary: Post-split. After the Blink tour, Spencer, Brendon, Ryan and Jon decide to take a trip together to reconnect.
AN: I make no apologies for the fluffiness of this fic. It's what I needed. I think it's what we all need right now.
"You know what we need?" Brendon said right before they went on stage, on their last night of the Blink tour.
"What?" Spencer asked, bouncing a little in the face of Brendon's excitement, as he tapped out a rhythm in the air.
Brendon grinned and ran on stage without answering.
"Asshole," Spencer shouted as he followed him.
---
The thing about being best friends with someone for sixteen years is that somewhere along the way you stop talking. Not because you don't want to talk to the other person, not because you've run out of things to say, but because you don't need to say anything.
One night, long ago, before the band, before Brendon even, Spencer and Ryan had been lying on the grass in Spencer's backyard, watching the stars and Ryan had said, seemingly out nowhere, "It's ten years today since we met."
That was the moment Spencer realised his best friend was a huge sap. He'd nudged Ryan and they'd both laughed, until Ryan had rolled over to look down at Spencer and said, "No, really, wait. I want to say this." He'd taken a deep breath and closed his eyes and stuttered, "I love you," so quickly Spencer wanted to laugh.
He didn't laugh though, because this was Ryan and this was important.
"I love you too," he said back and smiled as Ryan relaxed and lay back down.
They didn't say anything else all night and by some unspoken agreement, knew they'd never have to say it again.
---
Spencer's phone was buzzing when they got back to the dressing room.
"We need a vacation," Brendon said, as Spencer picked it up to answer.
"We need a vacation," Ryan said a second later and Spencer blinked in surprise then narrowed his eyes at Brendon.
"You planned this?" he asked as Brendon grinned and started to change. "I didn't think you two were talking."
"We made up," Ryan said flatly. "We need a vacation. All of us."
"I thought the point of breaking up was that we didn't all have to do things together anymore," Spencer said, more amused than anything.
"But we're not doing it because we have to. We're doing it because we want to." Ryan sounded smug. It matched the look on Brendon's face.
"Okay," Spencer agreed easily. "Where are we going?"
---
Ryan and Brendon had the strangest relationship of any two people Spencer had ever met.
On tour they'd drape themselves over each other and whisper and giggle together like fourteen year old girls. Put them in a studio together and they'd scream at each other until they were both purple with rage and the instruments were in danger of being thrown across the room.
The two weeks before "the split" became official the four of them had more meetings than Spencer cared to remember and Ryan and Brendon had been as quiet and careful with each other as Spencer had ever seen them. The month after, they hadn't spoken one word to each other.
Now, well...
"Brendon and I are sitting together," Ryan announced when they stood up to board the five hour flight from LAX to Honolulu. Brendon looked positively gleeful.
"Suits me," Jon said wrapping his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "I get the grand prize."
Spencer was secretly relieved.
True to form, Ryan and Brendon spent the first hour of the flight giggling with each other and tossing gummibears at Spencer and Jon over the back of the seat.
"Tell the truth," Jon said with a sly grin, "You missed this."
Spencer opened his mouth to tell Jon that yes, actually, he missed this a lot, when Brendon's voice, suddenly louder, cut across him.
"Actually Ryan, this is your intervention."
Spencer groaned. Jon buried his face in the complimentary pillow and started to laugh. Ryan slapped Brendon. Hard.
"I didn't miss this," Spencer muttered.
---
Brendon was still trying to apologise three hours later. Ryan was a lot closer to forgiving him, Spencer could tell, because the hitting, kicking and pinching had all stopped and Brendon's head had now been on Ryan's shoulder for twenty minutes.
"Ryan, I'm sorry. It was a joke. You know how I am. It was funny. Come on, you have to admit it was funny."
Spencer didn't think Ryan was ever going to admit that. He kicked the back of Ryan's seat.
"Okay fine, Jesus," Ryan snapped. "Just stop talking. Don't you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?"
Brendon fell silent. Jon's shoulders started to shake with silent laughter again.
"Not really," Brendon responded after a good five minutes of thinking time. Spencer snorted into his drink. "You miss me talking when I'm not around. Be honest. Now that I'm gone most of the time, don't you appreciate me that much more?"
Jon burst out laughing, which started Spencer off. Brendon and Ryan both peered over the back of their seats at them.
"Jon Walker, you do miss me. Tell me you do," Brendon demanded, kneeling up on his seat. Ryan's eyes sparkled with amused affection as he watched Brendon. His hand slid between the seat and the wall, reaching for Spencer's.
Spencer didn't hesitate in taking it.
---
Jon had booked a luxury suite on the beachfront. It had a living room, kitchen, private terrace and two bedrooms.
"Because we're never all going to share like this again," Jon had said and if there was something little melancholy in his voice when he said it, no one mentioned it. They all felt the same.
"I'm sharing with Jon," Spencer said, as soon as they stepped into the suite.
"Good," Brendon said, pulling a face at Spencer and grabbing Ryan's hand. "Lets check out our room."
Ryan allowed himself to be dragged along, while Spencer walked over and pushed open the doors to the terrace and beyond that the beach.
"This was a good idea," he said quietly, hearing Jon walk up behind him. "Was it yours?"
"No," Jon replied just as quietly. "I just helped with the planning."
Spencer closed his eyes and breathed everything in. "Lets make it an annual thing yeah?"
Jon laughed and wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders, pulling him closer. "Definitely."
---
They didn't go out that night. They sat on the terrace, listening to the sound of the waves on the shore and the music that drifted along the beach from a distant bar. The drank beer and played poker, (substituting the brightly colored pebbles from one of the decorative vases for chips) and talked more than they had in a long time. They talked about everything. The last tour, the first tour, meeting Brendon, meeting Pete, Brent, Jon...
Ryan's head fell back as he dissolved into laughter and he gave an excited clap, when Brendon recalled singing A Whole New World with Jon at their first meeting and then launched into the first verse. Jon naturally joined in as Jasmine. Spencer watched them all and thought that even if none of them ever played music together again, he'd be happy so long as they stayed like this.
---
"Spencer."
Spencer knew he was dreaming, because Jon knew better than to shake him awake at whatever ungodly hour of the morning it was.
"Spencer, I'm sorry, but you have to wake up."
"No," Spencer groaned, though it was no use. He was awake and he wasn't getting back to sleep. "Why do I?"
"Dolphins!" Brendon shouted from the living room. "Come on, get up. Even Ross is up. Ow, Ryan, stop it, that hurts...."
"Are the dolphins attacking us?" Spencer asked Jon, yawning.
Jon smiled down at him and shook his head. "No, we have to go swimming with them. It'll be fun."
Spencer thought that sleep was fun too and the dolphins would still be there when it wasn't... "Seven AM? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"If you get up, I'll make you some coffee."
It wasn't fair, Spencer thought as he pushed the covers back and padded over to the en-suite bathroom, that Jon Walker should be so convincing all the damn time.
---
"Come for a walk?" Jon asked as they made their way back along trail from the town that evening. Ryan and Brendon had stumbled ahead, not drunk but pleasantly buzzed, arms wrapped around each others shoulders, singing Fall Out Boy songs like they used to, right back at the beginning. Spencer nodded and followed Jon off the track and down towards the water. They bumped shoulders as they walked, a comfortable silence between them that neither felt the need to fill.
Eventually they stopped and sat. Spencer pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek on them, watching Jon.
"Are you happy?"
Jon didn't look surprised by the question. "Right now I'm one hundred percent happy."
Spencer nodded. "Me too."
Jon smiled and Spencer wondered how it was possible that, with everything there was to see right here, right now, all he wanted to do was watch Jon smile.
---
It was the third night when it happened.
They'd spent the day on the beach. Brendon had gone surfing and Ryan had sat in the shade writing. They drank Pina Coladas and tossed a football around and eventually Jon dragged them all up to build a sandcastle. After half an hour this dissolved into them all tackling him and carrying him down to throw him into the sea.
They had dinner on the terrace again and shared a bottle of wine. Spencer noticed the way Ryan's eyes kept drifting to Brendon and tried not let his own linger too long on Jon.
Ryan started yawning at ten. Jon snickered into his wine glass after half an hour. Spencer kicked Brendon.
"Ow! Spencer what the fuck?"
"Ryan's tired, so wish him goodnight so he can go to bed," Jon said, clearly amused.
Brendon seemed bemused by the whole thing. "Um, goodnight?"
Ryan rolled his eyes and murmured a goodnight. Spencer pretended to ignore the way Ryan's fingers brushed Brendon's shoulder as he passed.
Brendon's eyes went wide as though he'd just figured something out and Spencer couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up at that.
They sat for a another half an hour, with Brendon suddenly silent and constantly fidgeting until Jon put him out of his misery and stood up. "I think it's time for bed."
"Yeah," Brendon said quickly as he jumped up. "Yeah it's getting late. Night guys." He all but ran inside.
Spencer and Jon cleared away the plates and glasses, then walked companionably back to their room. Jon disappeared into the bathroom to clean up and change for bed. Spencer switched off the light and pulled back the curtain to let the moonlight stream through.
The bathroom door opened behind him and Spencer turned his head to see Jon framed in the doorway, watching him.
In the next room, Ryan moaned.
Jon snorted and then bit down on his fist to stop himself giggling, shaking with mirth. Spencer watched him, struggling to fight his own laughter.
"There's a noise you never want to hear your best friend make," Spencer said and Jon gave in to the laughter and collapsed onto his bed, biting down on the blankets to stifle the noise.
---
They ate breakfast together as normal the next morning, and then walked down to the beach to swim. Jon gave Brendon a piggy back ride and Ryan and Spencer settled down on two sun loungers to enjoy the sun.
"So," Spencer drawled eventually. "Brendon."
"Don't," Ryan said, pushing his sunglasses firmly onto his face.
Spencer shrugged. "Dude. Like I care."
Ryan rolled onto his side and started to smile.
"I'm the little duck!" Brendon shouted from half way down the beach. Jon stood, doubled up with laughter next to him as he crowed to another group of teenagers. "I'm the little duck."
Ryan had turned bright red. "Oh my God."
"Kudos," Spencer said, grinning brightly. "Big duck."
"Fuck you," Ryan groaned.
"Don't be embarrassed," Spencer told him, reaching for his hand. Ryan gripped it tightly. "We're good."
Jon walked over to them and sat down next to Spencer, pulling Spencer's feet into his lap. Brendon bounded up and knelt on the bottom of Ryan's lounger, slowly crawling up over Ryan until he was straddling his hips.
"Big duck," he said solemnly, but his lips were quivering.
Ryan glanced at Spencer and Jon, his face still red, but his eyes shining with... something, when he turned his attention back to Brendon and nuzzled his nose against Brendon's stomach. "Little duck."
---
That night Brendon and Ryan never even made it out of their room.
Spencer and Jon took a picnic down to the beach and watched the sunset.
"Home soon," Jon said quietly as the last of the pink faded from the sky. "Back to reality."
"What's reality?" Spencer asked, lying down on the blanket they'd taken from the closet. "Did you ever think, this time last year...?"
"No," Jon interrupted quickly. "Not at Christmas or Easter either."
"Do you regret it?" Spencer cursed his voice for breaking then.
"None of us were happy Spence. Not one of us." Jon's voice was soft and gentle. Spencer stared up at the stars as they began to appear and braced himself against it.
"That's not what I asked."
"No," Jon said, firmly, assuredly. "No, I don't."
Spencer wanted to get up and run, and keep running until he was back watching the same stars in his parents garden, with Ryan, all those years ago. Nothing could hurt him back then. Nothing could touch him.
"If it hadn't happened," Jon murmured against his ear and Spencer jumped slightly. He hadn't even noticed Jon move. "If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here, with you, like this."
The kiss, when it came, was nothing like Spencer had imagined for the past, however many years. Jon's lips were firm and insistent, urging Spencer closer, searching, asking for more, more, more. Spencer was happy to give Jon anything and everything he wanted.
The world had righted itself again.
New Perspective: Ryan
New Perspective: Jon
New Perspective: Brendon