(no subject)
It has been forever since my last update. Why is that? Maybe because I've been super busy actually doing things, staying out and promming it, studying for these tests, making myself busy. But the truth is is that for some reason livejournal is a lot less interesting to me. Which is weird, and a little sad.
What's even more sad is leaving. I had one of the best times ever at prom, spending it with people who I care a lot about and also realizing that there are people who I care about who I didn't spend it with. Bringing me to the point of my entry. There are choices I'm going to have to make when I go to college. Who am I going to stay in touch with? Who will I write to, who will I call. How involved am I going to be with my high school friends? The crazy thing is that some people never are friends with their high school buds, and some stay friends thier whole life.
The weird thing is last year if you would have asked me who I would be friends with I could have told you ten people who I knew I'd never lose touch with. Now, some people are still on that list, some aren't, and some are new additions. But what will that be like in a year? I know that friendships don't work unless you make the effort- I hope I can make the effort with at least some people, and I hope they make the effort back.
The good news is that quite a few of the people on that list are going to be on the west coast, in the same time zone. I think that will make communication a lot easier. I just hope that people use AOL...some don't and that's hard to communicate.
And then there are the people who will be 3000 miles away, Nathan among them. I know that the lack of proximity is going to make it a lot harder to keep in touch, which makes me sad. It's so uncertain, and that's really scary. Now that the uncertainty of where is settled, there's still the question of how. How are we going to meet new people? How will we mold our lives? How will it be different? How will it be the same?
It's sad that I'm going to have to make new friends. Because I love my old ones. What if the new people I meet just aren't the same? What if I dont make any friends? What if people don't understand my quirkyness, or don't see what my friends do? I'm really afraid, because it's not like high school was all that bad. What if I have another freshman year like in high school?
I guess, though, that you get over it, and move on. You make friends, and you meet cool people, and you stay in touch with your high school friends or they fade away.
I can't believe it's ending.
I can't believe it's starting.