(no subject)
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your own nonsense.."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
So um yesturday was pretty awful. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance tow rite. I really have a ton to write, but don't know if I should.
Just so people can stop asking me about why I was in such a bad mood yesturday, and so they don't tell me I'm "over reacting," I will write this: I am really sick of most people in this school. I usually find the things they do amusing, but not yesturday. I don't mind getting a pencil thrown at me, or paper.. but when you get notebooks thrown, it really does hurt & it's annoying. I was trying so hard not to get up and hit one of them yesturday. I was happy the thing that happend today happend. Math class was equally as annoying w/ the book throwing. They threw it at Alexandra too, I was SO sick of it, so I chucked it right back at Stephen. Then Alexandra threw it at Stephen Gallo, I guess hitting him in the eye because it was all red. They got SO mad. I told Alexandra, that when they throw books at us, we don't make a big deal out of it. But then when they get ONE book thrown at them they go completely crazy. You have no idea how mad they were. It was so crazy. For once they had a taste of their own medicine. They even pulled my chair out when I was about to sit down. I was laughing so hard. It was just a little embarresing. But I didn't care.
Anyway.. back to yesturday. They all thought I was ignoring them at lunch because I wasn't really saying anything. #1 it was because I was afraid that if I said something I would of maybe started crying. It was just one of those days. #2 Because I was in such deep thought. I was thinking about how no one really understands me anymore. Partly because I don't tell anyone any of my feelings. I know that isn't good. But lately I've just felt that these things should be kept inside. I write them down, but it doesn't always work. I'm not going to sit here and tell everyone how I'm feeling when all they will do is critize it. Only I really know why I think that.. or anything of that sort. So no, I'm not going to be expressing myself a lot anymore. I really don't think it's needed. If I have a problem with you, I'll tell you. It might take a while, but I will. The things that I think about, are going to stay inside. Sucks for you if you have a problem with that.
I am also disappointed in myself. Disappointed that every night this week I have been crying myself to sleep. For no reason too. Just to get it all out. I don't get it. I listen to my music & it just gets to me. Without my music.. god I would be going crazy. Disappointed that I haven't been able to express myslef the way I want to. I know I said I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't, but I think I could handle the situration's better. Disappointed that I've been confused & not really happy. Why am I confused? Who the hell knows. But more then anything, I am so disappointed that I am being so sympathetic for myself. Seriously, I am sitting here in my little emo mood. I know this week has been awful. I know that by your reading this, you will not even get a taste about how bad this week has been mentally & physically. But I am going to have so many worse weeks. I'm a teenager and I'm acting like I'm having a mental breakdown. DO NOT THINK I'M WRITING THIS FOR YOUR SYMPATHY. I am writing this so my friends get a little idea about what I'm feeling.... I have to get all my thoughts together and make some sense out of them. The sad thing is, I have so much more to write.
But hey.. Sunday is the Fair in the square. &&
Monday should be better. Field Trip to Radio City. [:
I hope I didn't take too much of your time.
Sorry, no comments this entry. So please don't IM be about it either.
So um yesturday was pretty awful. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance tow rite. I really have a ton to write, but don't know if I should.
Just so people can stop asking me about why I was in such a bad mood yesturday, and so they don't tell me I'm "over reacting," I will write this: I am really sick of most people in this school. I usually find the things they do amusing, but not yesturday. I don't mind getting a pencil thrown at me, or paper.. but when you get notebooks thrown, it really does hurt & it's annoying. I was trying so hard not to get up and hit one of them yesturday. I was happy the thing that happend today happend. Math class was equally as annoying w/ the book throwing. They threw it at Alexandra too, I was SO sick of it, so I chucked it right back at Stephen. Then Alexandra threw it at Stephen Gallo, I guess hitting him in the eye because it was all red. They got SO mad. I told Alexandra, that when they throw books at us, we don't make a big deal out of it. But then when they get ONE book thrown at them they go completely crazy. You have no idea how mad they were. It was so crazy. For once they had a taste of their own medicine. They even pulled my chair out when I was about to sit down. I was laughing so hard. It was just a little embarresing. But I didn't care.
Anyway.. back to yesturday. They all thought I was ignoring them at lunch because I wasn't really saying anything. #1 it was because I was afraid that if I said something I would of maybe started crying. It was just one of those days. #2 Because I was in such deep thought. I was thinking about how no one really understands me anymore. Partly because I don't tell anyone any of my feelings. I know that isn't good. But lately I've just felt that these things should be kept inside. I write them down, but it doesn't always work. I'm not going to sit here and tell everyone how I'm feeling when all they will do is critize it. Only I really know why I think that.. or anything of that sort. So no, I'm not going to be expressing myself a lot anymore. I really don't think it's needed. If I have a problem with you, I'll tell you. It might take a while, but I will. The things that I think about, are going to stay inside. Sucks for you if you have a problem with that.
I am also disappointed in myself. Disappointed that every night this week I have been crying myself to sleep. For no reason too. Just to get it all out. I don't get it. I listen to my music & it just gets to me. Without my music.. god I would be going crazy. Disappointed that I haven't been able to express myslef the way I want to. I know I said I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't, but I think I could handle the situration's better. Disappointed that I've been confused & not really happy. Why am I confused? Who the hell knows. But more then anything, I am so disappointed that I am being so sympathetic for myself. Seriously, I am sitting here in my little emo mood. I know this week has been awful. I know that by your reading this, you will not even get a taste about how bad this week has been mentally & physically. But I am going to have so many worse weeks. I'm a teenager and I'm acting like I'm having a mental breakdown. DO NOT THINK I'M WRITING THIS FOR YOUR SYMPATHY. I am writing this so my friends get a little idea about what I'm feeling.... I have to get all my thoughts together and make some sense out of them. The sad thing is, I have so much more to write.
But hey.. Sunday is the Fair in the square. &&
Monday should be better. Field Trip to Radio City. [:
I hope I didn't take too much of your time.
Sorry, no comments this entry. So please don't IM be about it either.