[Six]Implied Consent: Dream a Little Dream of Me
So hi. It's been a while I apologize. Also I need to say so for the lack of drama of this fic. But idk if it still is keeping you interested, then keep reading. XP.
This particular chapter is when I realize that I do not like Jazz from the 70s and beyond. Sinatra is an exception but I really do not find appeal to most of his songs. So thus, most of the songs are going to be from the 30s to 60s.
Setting that aside, hrm, how are you guys doing? ^ ^ I'm really supposed to be studying right now but oh well. I wanted to update first.
Hrm it seems like these updates keep on getting longer and longer by the chapter o_o... But whatever, long updates are nice, yes? So yeah...
Enjoy~
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Selca Six: Save Your Love for Me
They smiled, giggled, and they were happy with each other. Tiffany made Taeyeon's heart race ever so often with her smiles and Taeyeon in return swept Tiffany off her feet with her sweet words. Three days have gone since they’ve been together again and the two of them felt like they were walking on clouds when in each other’s company.
"You took the best, so why not take the rest. Baby, take all of me." Tiffany whispered to Taeyeon while synchronizing with the song. Taeyeon smiled on reflex, obviously loving the girl's perfect English. [1]
She scooted close to where Tiffany was, with one hand on Tiffany’s leg and the other was grazing her face.
"So you like Jazz now?" Taeyeon lifted Tiffany's chin. The two of them were sitting on the floor of their room while looking at the song sheets that they had to memorize within the week’s time. They had decided to study together, to ease the burden of memorizing and it also served them well as an excuse to be with each other again.
Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s hand on her lap and she held it. Giving her a dazzling smile, she took Taeyeon’s hand that held her chin. "What are you talking about, I've always liked Jazz.”
“Which did you like first? Me or Jazz?” Taeyeon leaned close to Tiffany for a kiss but Tiffany was quick to evade her.
“It’s always been you…” Tiffany gently said before she gave Taeyeon gentle peck on the cheek; then gave her another dazzling smile. Tiffany knew what her eye-smile could do and she often flaunted it to her advantage.
Though she had Taeyeon under her spell, Taeyeon was swift to recover and retaliate. Tiffany’s peck on the cheek compelled Taeyeon to grab Tiffany by the waist and kiss her, but Tiffany had somehow already read her mind. Tiffany toppled over the shorter girl and Tiffany bit her lip and gave her a suggestive look.
"You wanna do it on the floor?" Tiffany loosened up Taeyeon's blouse and planted a kiss on her neck. She let her mouth linger with a few licks and bites before proceeding to another area.
"It seems like yy-you want this more than me." Taeyeon stuttered while trying to catch her breath from the sensations she felt. Tiffany’s hands roamed around her body and every single touch made Taeyeon hold her breath. It was way too much.
"Ahhhh yess...there…" They heard Jessica from another room.
Taeyeon felt Tiffany’s mood turn sour. Tiffany even stopped and sat up on Taeyeon’s stomach. It was obvious in her expression that she looked upset and perhaps insulted at the same time.
"YulSic would put bunnies to shame. Or mice. I mean--it's either they do it every day or do it too much that they won't be able to do it for days."
Taeyeon smiled at her girlfriend's thoughts. It’s cute, she thought. The fact that her girlfriend was somewhat envious of how the other couple was acting was fun to watch. Tiffany often looked distressed and upset at the events and Taeyeon usually observed the girl in these moments.
"Would you have preferred me to be like that towards you?" Tiffany asked. Her expression drastically changed, to what Taeyeon interpreted as sorrowful pout.
Taeyeon concluded that Tiffany was perhaps a bit shy about the subject, as she did not establish eye contact with her. Her tone of voice had changed and Taeyeon felt uneasy that she gently brushed Tiffany’s fringe to at least console the sad girl.
“Would you prefer me like that?”
"Like what?" Taeyeon held Tiffany’s hand and kissed her like a prince would. Luckily, Taeyeon held her stare on Tiffany’s face, and she saw how embarrassed, innocent, and princess-like Tiffany looked. Definitely sexy, she thought.
"I don't know, constantly seducing you..." Tiffany hinted, that caused Taeyeon to realize the real envy that Tiffany felt with Yuri and Jessica. She began to feel concerned with her girlfriend, especially because she had already taken an oath to not hurt the girl in any way.
“Tiffany, what is this about?” Taeyeon she asked while she tried positioning herself better on the floor. They had stayed in their positions ever since Tiffany brought things up. Tiffany straddling Taeyeon with song sheets scattered on the ground. The awkward silence was looming over them.
She had been truly aware that the girl had been insecure with how affectionate Yuri and Jessica were. Taeyeon knew, that Tiffany did not exactly know how to date by being the passive or the possessive one in the relationship. What Tiffany failed to recognize was that Taeyeon’s never been in a gay relationship-or a relationship, for that matter.
Taeyeon tried to think of something to say, but she was at a complete loss for words. Being unable to formulate a response, she brushed the back of Tiffany’s palm affectionately, and she stared at her. But the younger girl looked like she was about to cry.
“Can you get off of me for a second?” Taeyeon asked gently but it somewhat upset Tiffany.
When Taeyeon sat up, she held Tiffany in a hug, in hopes of consoling the discouraged girl.
“Pani-ah, I love you.”
“Me too.” Tiffany replied so gloomily that Taeyeon found herself bothered and affected. She disliked the times that her girlfriend was sad, but she knew that it was already expected in a taboo such as this one. As two girls, they were dating, and they liked each other. But Taeyeon never expected herself to hurt Tiffany, even in small things like these.
“Why are you so sad?” Taeyeon rubbed Tiffany’s back to calm her down or at least increase her morale a bit. Tiffany in return snuggled close to her and Taeyeon smiled at their own fluff.
“I’m not…” Tiffany tried to hide it by avoiding Taeyeon’s glance and she tightened her hug.
“Yah…” She gave Tiffany a pat on the back. And rested her cheek on Tiffany’s shoulder.
“Pani…baby.” Taeyeon said in English.
Hearing Taeyeon’s endearment, Tiffany’s sadness turned into a smile. The way Taeyeon said it was so silly that she almost laughed out loud to it.
Eventually, the giggle turned into a big grin as she broke away from the hug. Tiffany looked at Taeyeon and showed her eye-smiles. Taeyeon gave her a full smile back.
“I love you.” Tiffany blushed after joining hands with Taeyeon. They both smiled at each other, probably thinking about how foolish they were acting with each other.
“Umm…I love you too?” Taeyeon grinned. A few seconds ago, Tiffany was sad and now she’s suddenly jolly again. Taeyeon somewhat understood that the American found her pronunciation perhaps stupid and not very classy, but regardless, she was glad that Tiffany liked it and was able to smile again.
Tiffany then hugged her tight. Suddenly, she grew silent again but Taeyeon could still feel how insecure Tiffany was, so she kissed Tiffany’s cheek and returned the embrace.
“Pani-ah, sorry if I’m not that amazing.” She paused. It was probably the lamest thing she had said to anyone but she swallowed her pride and faced the music. Tiffany was not someone she was meant to be ashamed with in the first place. “I’m really sorry if I’m not as outspoken or witty like Yuri or fun like Yoona. I'm bad with my jokes and my cooking is not as amazing as everyone else's. I'm sorry Tiffany.”
Tiffany smiled at Taeyeon and caressed her face. She felt somewhat guilty with her actions as Taeyeon seemed to have more insecurities than her. It was true that Taeyeon was significantly different from everyone else in the dorm but Taeyeon seemed to misunderstand her. Tiffany loved her exactly because of that. Because Taeyeon was discreet to show her love, soft-spoken with each endearment, and most of all, she was able to take Tiffany's breath away with a mere glance or smile.
Tiffany placed her hands on Taeyeon's shoulders and kissed her. She kissed and held her like she was the most fragile thing in the world and Taeyeon kissed back. It was the same as her other kisses with Taeyeon but she felt something more this time. She felt her breath getting shallow, her knees getting weak and butterflies swarmed her stomach. But among everything else, she felt overwhelmed with how much Taeyeon loved her.
"But Tiffany, I know they can't love you like I do." Taeyeon said before she realized that she was under the shorter girl.
"I love you so much..." Tiffany trailed kisses down on her neck.
All you took
I gladly gave
There is nothing left for me to save
All of me
Why not take all of me[1]
--
For every single moment she saw Tiffany, she held her breath for a good 10 seconds. The ten seconds was enough to get rid of her rapid heartbeats and malicious thoughts that might distract her from whatever activity they had planned with each other. Taeyeon restricted their sex to 3 times a week, making sure that they had enough stamina and energy for everything else. Of course Taeyeon was disappointed and so was Tiffany that sometimes each of them would intentionally make scenarios happen, just to spoil each other for a bit. Neither of them confessed their true intentions but instead they blamed their own surroundings as benefactors to the misfit. Tiffany’s short skirt, Taeyeon’s thin blouse, how Tiffany’s hair looked in the afternoon, and lots more.
Tiffany felt somewhat glad that they had restrictions but there were days that she wished they had none. She liked the idea of waking up with Taeyeon looking and caressing her face-as Taeyeon often woke up earlier than her. They would share a morning kiss to start off the day, and Tiffany would be once again reminded of the sweet jazz lyrics they listened to in the afternoons.
"Unnnn..." a moan followed though they could faintly hear it. It was early in the morning and Tiffany knew who it came from. Genuinely, she was worried of how Jessica acted since she had continuously neglected her practice to spend time with Yuri. They would sometimes sneak out to get some privacy and she felt quite concerned with Jessica's future.
She saw Taeyeon open her eyes and smile at her.
"It's YulSic again." Taeyeon held her hand and kissed it. Tiffany realized how Taeyeon was. "Good morning."
"Good morning." Tiffany said and Taeyeon hugged her. Taeyeon was still a bit drowsy so she closed her eyes as well. But she really could not help but be worried for Jessica.
"I'm worried about Jessica." Tiffany said to her.
"Is it because of how active she is with Yuri?" Taeyeon jokingly replied to her. She wanted to say yes and work it out with Taeyeon but she felt somewhat embarrassed, not for herself but for Yuri and Jessica. "Well the fact that they're so active shows in their kid. Our daughter is way better."
"Our daughter?" she suddenly felt confused
"Seohyun. Yoona is YulSic's daughter."
Tiffany smiled and somehow she felt her cheeks go hot. Cute. Just cute. Actually, Taeyeon was just way too cute for her right now. Her knees became so weak that she couldn't even move them.
“Well then, I believe that we had raised her well.” She went on with the joke and smiled at Taeyeon. Taeyeon looked into her eyes.
"Pani-ah, don't worry I'll talk to her okay?" Taeyeon caressed her back and he felt a bit more calm.
She stayed silent to think. Tiffany felt lucky to have Taeyeon since she was all a man--or woman could ever ask for in a lover. Taeyeon was modest, gentle, patient and even handsome. She never forced Tiffany for sex, nor did she become impatient with all of Tiffany's teasing. Taeyeon was just amazing and Tiffany could never beg to differ. She closed her eyes more and clutched Taeyeon's shirt. Tiffany did not want to let her go.
"Hmmm..." Taeyeon stirred. Tiffany still had her eyes closed but she still felt Taeyeon's stare at her. "Pani-ah... I don't know but how would you feel if I said that I wanna strip you naked right now and feel your body."
Taeyeon's vulgarity caused Tiffany to open her eyes. Taeyeon was grinning widely. Tiffany stared at her for a few seconds before she took Taeyeon's hand and slipped it inside her shorts. Taeyeon's grin was replaced with want, gently approaching Tiffany for a kiss. Tiffany closed her eyes and they kissed gently while she wrote a mental note to herself: not only is Taeyeon charming, gentle and all those things, she is also incredibly sexy.
"Why don't you show me how you touched yourself when you called." Taeyeon whispered and she felt a chill go down her spine. Taeyeon wore a grin that she found incredible appealing, and nothing else registered to her mind but to taste Taeyeon’s lips.
She bit Taeyeon's lip and led Taeyeon's hand inside her shorts. Tiffany placed her arms to rest around Taeyeon's neck.
Kissing Taeyeon always felt good and she let her mouth linger on the taste for each second that passed. She felt Taeyeon grope her butt and she liked it. It added a bit of kink to the whole sex thing. Tiffany kissed her more and Taeyeon reacted with more touches. Taeyeon kept on mumbling praises like "you're so sexy" or "just like that" and all Tiffany could do was kiss her more.
"Ahh..." she moaned after feeling the penetration. Then she noticed the desk clock on her end table. "SAT 9:00 A.M." it said. She smiled a bit more. It no longer became a mystery why Taeyeon wanted her so much today.
"Mmm..."
9:00 A.M., they were right on time.
Give your love in one sweet kiss
I ask no more of you than this
Be sweet and kind
Say that you'll be mine
That's all I ask of you[2]
---
Taeyeon sat on the couch and waited for Jessica. Truthfully she was nervous but she pardoned it. It was something an elder unnie should do, and the fact that each of their careers was about to start soon, meant that they needed every practice and rehearsal they could do.
The seconds went by longer as she started to wait. Taeyeon was usually patient but her nervousness was not making things easy. She continued to stare at the clock, hoping that Tiffany would instead appear and volunteer to take her place. But when the door clicked, she saw Jessica emerge from it instead.
"Hello." she started, Jessica looked startled with her voice.
"Hi, Taeyeon."
"Take a seat."
When Jessica did, Taeyeon felt the heavy atmosphere looming around the living room. Taeyeon closed her eyes, silently hoping to get rid of that tension they had.
"Jessica..." she started as she fumbled for words to say. Her throat started to become dry after she realized that what she was about to say was as brutal as it could get.
"I know you are enjoying your time with Yuri but you are putting something you've worked hard for, all your life, on the line. Your dancing is beginning to look poor and rusty, while your singing needs a bit more practice. I don't want to be imposing but I think you need to set yourself limits. Do you love your future or Yuri more?" Taeyeon paused and hesitated. She had totally destroyed Jessica's feelings and she never wanted to be blunt, though someone had to. She was already placed as the overseer of the group and she was doing what she felt was right. Nobody wanted Jessica to fail or mess up her priorities, nobody wanted her to hurt her feelings either. But unfortunately, it was impossible to have the best of both worlds. Jessica was meant to take in one or the other.
She saw that Jessica was about to cry and Taeyeon could totally relate. Jessica was embarrassed and Taeyeon felt that. The fact that an outsider would tell you something that you meant to hide was gravely shameful.
Taeyeon approached Jessica and she rubbed her back. She tried to comfort Jessica as much as she could, though it had been a lost cause.
"I just hope that you will be able to prioritize everything that I have talked about, Jessica. I am not saying that you should stop your relationship, but do understand that we are debuting in three months time." She gently said. The brown-haired girl looked like she was about to cry, that Taeyeon had to look away to stop herself from shedding tears. It hurt her to treat the girl this way but she had to. For Jessica’s good, for Yuri’s good, for Tiffany’s good, and for her own good. She really just had to.
“You may go now.” She said without even looking back at her.
When Jessica had left, she felt hurt just like what Jessica probably would have felt too. But her reason for feeling pain was based on an entirely different level.
---
She entered the door where she and Tiffany were staying, but she could hear Jessica's light sobs from the room next to them. Upon closing the door, Tiffany let go of the book that she held in her hands, and welcomed her with a warm embrace.
"Taeyeon, are you okay?" Tiffany caressed her back and she clenched onto the taller girl's shirt. "it's over now."
They stayed in the hug with Taeyeon silently weeping at the events, and Tiffany was considerate enough to comfort her.
"You're so cute, you know." Tiffany whispered to her and she thought it was soothing. "I love you, let it all out."
--
Taeyeon laid down in bed, with her fingers tangled with Tiffany's. Tiffany was reading a magazine, occasionally letting go to turn to the next page.
It wasn't like she willed it to occur to her, but she could not help but have doubts flood her mind. The fear of her relationship with Tiffany, facing the same fate as Yuri and Jessica was highly probable and she felt the same sadness occur to her again.
"Taeyeon what's on your mind?" Tiffany peeked over her magazine and glanced at the shorter girl.
Taeyeon hesitated as she did not want Tiffany to worry about her at all.
"Nothing." she solemnly said, though it sounded highly rehearsed.
She then saw Tiffany place the magazine on the side and gaze at her. Taeyeon tried to avoid her stare after Tiffany reached out to touch her cheek.
"What's on your mind? Tell me..."
She paused and pondered, thinking of how horrible she was for hiding such doubts. They were supposed to be caring and understanding with each other, never keeping secrets or lies. They were expected to confide in each other, to trust, and to love each other purely. And as of that moment, she felt guilty of all charges.
"It's us."
"What about us..." Tiffany stroked her cheek gently and it was breaking her heart.
It really did not occur to Taeyeon that dating would be hard while preparing for their celebrity career. She expected fights, a few jealous moments here and there, and perhaps a misunderstanding or two. The harsh reality of things was beyond her thinking, as she began to clearly realize the situation they were actually in. They were too similar to how Yuri and Jessica, maybe minus the excessive sex.
Taeyeon frowned and she held Tiffany's hand that held her cheek.
She stared at her lover, and she could see the hurt that Tiffany tried to hide, as if she already knew what Taeyeon was about to say.
So when she saw Tiffany's eyes get watery, Taeyeon immediately kissed them away.
"I love you, Taeyeon." Tiffany went to her side of the bed and embraced her. Taeyeon felt Tiffany's heart race and she calmed her down. Tiffany understood what Taeyeon wanted and Taeyeon felt confused as to whether she was supposed to feel relieved or sad that Tiffany was considerate of their situation.
"Tiffany, we need to stop this." she said, gently with each word breaking her own heart.
"I know...I understand." Taeyeon felt a big dismayed. She expected a "No." or "I don't want to" from Tiffany.
Part of her wanted the young girl to possessively claim her, beg her not to leave. But unfortunately she was greeted with the exact opposite. Like a wounded soldier, she accepted her defeat. Perhaps in another life, she thought. Maybe they would work out better than present.
"I know you're worried about us. But please, just...just let's sleep like this one last time. Just spend the rest of the day with me Taeyeon." She snuggled close to Taeyeon and Taeyeon kissed her forehead.
She felt disappointed that Tiffany did not act the way she wanted but she sighed and accepted what she had. They were moving on and though their love was dissolving, the important thing was that they had loved each other at some point in their lives.
"Remember that I'll always be yours Tiffany." she whispered to the girl sleeping by her side.
Her heart broke like tiny little shards of glass.
I know our love will linger
When the other love forgets
So I say goodbye with no regrets[3]
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[1] Billie Holiday - All of Me
[2] Billie Holiday - That’s All I Ask of You
[3] Billie Holiday - No Regrets
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3 more chapters to write omg. Lol I'm honestly exhausted with this fic but I shall persevere. YulSic, TaeNy hwaiting!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/gojacqgo
Formspring: http://formspring.me/jacqthag
This particular chapter is when I realize that I do not like Jazz from the 70s and beyond. Sinatra is an exception but I really do not find appeal to most of his songs. So thus, most of the songs are going to be from the 30s to 60s.
Setting that aside, hrm, how are you guys doing? ^ ^ I'm really supposed to be studying right now but oh well. I wanted to update first.
Hrm it seems like these updates keep on getting longer and longer by the chapter o_o... But whatever, long updates are nice, yes? So yeah...
Enjoy~
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Selca Six: Save Your Love for Me
They smiled, giggled, and they were happy with each other. Tiffany made Taeyeon's heart race ever so often with her smiles and Taeyeon in return swept Tiffany off her feet with her sweet words. Three days have gone since they’ve been together again and the two of them felt like they were walking on clouds when in each other’s company.
"You took the best, so why not take the rest. Baby, take all of me." Tiffany whispered to Taeyeon while synchronizing with the song. Taeyeon smiled on reflex, obviously loving the girl's perfect English. [1]
She scooted close to where Tiffany was, with one hand on Tiffany’s leg and the other was grazing her face.
"So you like Jazz now?" Taeyeon lifted Tiffany's chin. The two of them were sitting on the floor of their room while looking at the song sheets that they had to memorize within the week’s time. They had decided to study together, to ease the burden of memorizing and it also served them well as an excuse to be with each other again.
Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s hand on her lap and she held it. Giving her a dazzling smile, she took Taeyeon’s hand that held her chin. "What are you talking about, I've always liked Jazz.”
“Which did you like first? Me or Jazz?” Taeyeon leaned close to Tiffany for a kiss but Tiffany was quick to evade her.
“It’s always been you…” Tiffany gently said before she gave Taeyeon gentle peck on the cheek; then gave her another dazzling smile. Tiffany knew what her eye-smile could do and she often flaunted it to her advantage.
Though she had Taeyeon under her spell, Taeyeon was swift to recover and retaliate. Tiffany’s peck on the cheek compelled Taeyeon to grab Tiffany by the waist and kiss her, but Tiffany had somehow already read her mind. Tiffany toppled over the shorter girl and Tiffany bit her lip and gave her a suggestive look.
"You wanna do it on the floor?" Tiffany loosened up Taeyeon's blouse and planted a kiss on her neck. She let her mouth linger with a few licks and bites before proceeding to another area.
"It seems like yy-you want this more than me." Taeyeon stuttered while trying to catch her breath from the sensations she felt. Tiffany’s hands roamed around her body and every single touch made Taeyeon hold her breath. It was way too much.
"Ahhhh yess...there…" They heard Jessica from another room.
Taeyeon felt Tiffany’s mood turn sour. Tiffany even stopped and sat up on Taeyeon’s stomach. It was obvious in her expression that she looked upset and perhaps insulted at the same time.
"YulSic would put bunnies to shame. Or mice. I mean--it's either they do it every day or do it too much that they won't be able to do it for days."
Taeyeon smiled at her girlfriend's thoughts. It’s cute, she thought. The fact that her girlfriend was somewhat envious of how the other couple was acting was fun to watch. Tiffany often looked distressed and upset at the events and Taeyeon usually observed the girl in these moments.
"Would you have preferred me to be like that towards you?" Tiffany asked. Her expression drastically changed, to what Taeyeon interpreted as sorrowful pout.
Taeyeon concluded that Tiffany was perhaps a bit shy about the subject, as she did not establish eye contact with her. Her tone of voice had changed and Taeyeon felt uneasy that she gently brushed Tiffany’s fringe to at least console the sad girl.
“Would you prefer me like that?”
"Like what?" Taeyeon held Tiffany’s hand and kissed her like a prince would. Luckily, Taeyeon held her stare on Tiffany’s face, and she saw how embarrassed, innocent, and princess-like Tiffany looked. Definitely sexy, she thought.
"I don't know, constantly seducing you..." Tiffany hinted, that caused Taeyeon to realize the real envy that Tiffany felt with Yuri and Jessica. She began to feel concerned with her girlfriend, especially because she had already taken an oath to not hurt the girl in any way.
“Tiffany, what is this about?” Taeyeon she asked while she tried positioning herself better on the floor. They had stayed in their positions ever since Tiffany brought things up. Tiffany straddling Taeyeon with song sheets scattered on the ground. The awkward silence was looming over them.
She had been truly aware that the girl had been insecure with how affectionate Yuri and Jessica were. Taeyeon knew, that Tiffany did not exactly know how to date by being the passive or the possessive one in the relationship. What Tiffany failed to recognize was that Taeyeon’s never been in a gay relationship-or a relationship, for that matter.
Taeyeon tried to think of something to say, but she was at a complete loss for words. Being unable to formulate a response, she brushed the back of Tiffany’s palm affectionately, and she stared at her. But the younger girl looked like she was about to cry.
“Can you get off of me for a second?” Taeyeon asked gently but it somewhat upset Tiffany.
When Taeyeon sat up, she held Tiffany in a hug, in hopes of consoling the discouraged girl.
“Pani-ah, I love you.”
“Me too.” Tiffany replied so gloomily that Taeyeon found herself bothered and affected. She disliked the times that her girlfriend was sad, but she knew that it was already expected in a taboo such as this one. As two girls, they were dating, and they liked each other. But Taeyeon never expected herself to hurt Tiffany, even in small things like these.
“Why are you so sad?” Taeyeon rubbed Tiffany’s back to calm her down or at least increase her morale a bit. Tiffany in return snuggled close to her and Taeyeon smiled at their own fluff.
“I’m not…” Tiffany tried to hide it by avoiding Taeyeon’s glance and she tightened her hug.
“Yah…” She gave Tiffany a pat on the back. And rested her cheek on Tiffany’s shoulder.
“Pani…baby.” Taeyeon said in English.
Hearing Taeyeon’s endearment, Tiffany’s sadness turned into a smile. The way Taeyeon said it was so silly that she almost laughed out loud to it.
Eventually, the giggle turned into a big grin as she broke away from the hug. Tiffany looked at Taeyeon and showed her eye-smiles. Taeyeon gave her a full smile back.
“I love you.” Tiffany blushed after joining hands with Taeyeon. They both smiled at each other, probably thinking about how foolish they were acting with each other.
“Umm…I love you too?” Taeyeon grinned. A few seconds ago, Tiffany was sad and now she’s suddenly jolly again. Taeyeon somewhat understood that the American found her pronunciation perhaps stupid and not very classy, but regardless, she was glad that Tiffany liked it and was able to smile again.
Tiffany then hugged her tight. Suddenly, she grew silent again but Taeyeon could still feel how insecure Tiffany was, so she kissed Tiffany’s cheek and returned the embrace.
“Pani-ah, sorry if I’m not that amazing.” She paused. It was probably the lamest thing she had said to anyone but she swallowed her pride and faced the music. Tiffany was not someone she was meant to be ashamed with in the first place. “I’m really sorry if I’m not as outspoken or witty like Yuri or fun like Yoona. I'm bad with my jokes and my cooking is not as amazing as everyone else's. I'm sorry Tiffany.”
Tiffany smiled at Taeyeon and caressed her face. She felt somewhat guilty with her actions as Taeyeon seemed to have more insecurities than her. It was true that Taeyeon was significantly different from everyone else in the dorm but Taeyeon seemed to misunderstand her. Tiffany loved her exactly because of that. Because Taeyeon was discreet to show her love, soft-spoken with each endearment, and most of all, she was able to take Tiffany's breath away with a mere glance or smile.
Tiffany placed her hands on Taeyeon's shoulders and kissed her. She kissed and held her like she was the most fragile thing in the world and Taeyeon kissed back. It was the same as her other kisses with Taeyeon but she felt something more this time. She felt her breath getting shallow, her knees getting weak and butterflies swarmed her stomach. But among everything else, she felt overwhelmed with how much Taeyeon loved her.
"But Tiffany, I know they can't love you like I do." Taeyeon said before she realized that she was under the shorter girl.
"I love you so much..." Tiffany trailed kisses down on her neck.
All you took
I gladly gave
There is nothing left for me to save
All of me
Why not take all of me[1]
--
For every single moment she saw Tiffany, she held her breath for a good 10 seconds. The ten seconds was enough to get rid of her rapid heartbeats and malicious thoughts that might distract her from whatever activity they had planned with each other. Taeyeon restricted their sex to 3 times a week, making sure that they had enough stamina and energy for everything else. Of course Taeyeon was disappointed and so was Tiffany that sometimes each of them would intentionally make scenarios happen, just to spoil each other for a bit. Neither of them confessed their true intentions but instead they blamed their own surroundings as benefactors to the misfit. Tiffany’s short skirt, Taeyeon’s thin blouse, how Tiffany’s hair looked in the afternoon, and lots more.
Tiffany felt somewhat glad that they had restrictions but there were days that she wished they had none. She liked the idea of waking up with Taeyeon looking and caressing her face-as Taeyeon often woke up earlier than her. They would share a morning kiss to start off the day, and Tiffany would be once again reminded of the sweet jazz lyrics they listened to in the afternoons.
"Unnnn..." a moan followed though they could faintly hear it. It was early in the morning and Tiffany knew who it came from. Genuinely, she was worried of how Jessica acted since she had continuously neglected her practice to spend time with Yuri. They would sometimes sneak out to get some privacy and she felt quite concerned with Jessica's future.
She saw Taeyeon open her eyes and smile at her.
"It's YulSic again." Taeyeon held her hand and kissed it. Tiffany realized how Taeyeon was. "Good morning."
"Good morning." Tiffany said and Taeyeon hugged her. Taeyeon was still a bit drowsy so she closed her eyes as well. But she really could not help but be worried for Jessica.
"I'm worried about Jessica." Tiffany said to her.
"Is it because of how active she is with Yuri?" Taeyeon jokingly replied to her. She wanted to say yes and work it out with Taeyeon but she felt somewhat embarrassed, not for herself but for Yuri and Jessica. "Well the fact that they're so active shows in their kid. Our daughter is way better."
"Our daughter?" she suddenly felt confused
"Seohyun. Yoona is YulSic's daughter."
Tiffany smiled and somehow she felt her cheeks go hot. Cute. Just cute. Actually, Taeyeon was just way too cute for her right now. Her knees became so weak that she couldn't even move them.
“Well then, I believe that we had raised her well.” She went on with the joke and smiled at Taeyeon. Taeyeon looked into her eyes.
"Pani-ah, don't worry I'll talk to her okay?" Taeyeon caressed her back and he felt a bit more calm.
She stayed silent to think. Tiffany felt lucky to have Taeyeon since she was all a man--or woman could ever ask for in a lover. Taeyeon was modest, gentle, patient and even handsome. She never forced Tiffany for sex, nor did she become impatient with all of Tiffany's teasing. Taeyeon was just amazing and Tiffany could never beg to differ. She closed her eyes more and clutched Taeyeon's shirt. Tiffany did not want to let her go.
"Hmmm..." Taeyeon stirred. Tiffany still had her eyes closed but she still felt Taeyeon's stare at her. "Pani-ah... I don't know but how would you feel if I said that I wanna strip you naked right now and feel your body."
Taeyeon's vulgarity caused Tiffany to open her eyes. Taeyeon was grinning widely. Tiffany stared at her for a few seconds before she took Taeyeon's hand and slipped it inside her shorts. Taeyeon's grin was replaced with want, gently approaching Tiffany for a kiss. Tiffany closed her eyes and they kissed gently while she wrote a mental note to herself: not only is Taeyeon charming, gentle and all those things, she is also incredibly sexy.
"Why don't you show me how you touched yourself when you called." Taeyeon whispered and she felt a chill go down her spine. Taeyeon wore a grin that she found incredible appealing, and nothing else registered to her mind but to taste Taeyeon’s lips.
She bit Taeyeon's lip and led Taeyeon's hand inside her shorts. Tiffany placed her arms to rest around Taeyeon's neck.
Kissing Taeyeon always felt good and she let her mouth linger on the taste for each second that passed. She felt Taeyeon grope her butt and she liked it. It added a bit of kink to the whole sex thing. Tiffany kissed her more and Taeyeon reacted with more touches. Taeyeon kept on mumbling praises like "you're so sexy" or "just like that" and all Tiffany could do was kiss her more.
"Ahh..." she moaned after feeling the penetration. Then she noticed the desk clock on her end table. "SAT 9:00 A.M." it said. She smiled a bit more. It no longer became a mystery why Taeyeon wanted her so much today.
"Mmm..."
9:00 A.M., they were right on time.
Give your love in one sweet kiss
I ask no more of you than this
Be sweet and kind
Say that you'll be mine
That's all I ask of you[2]
---
Taeyeon sat on the couch and waited for Jessica. Truthfully she was nervous but she pardoned it. It was something an elder unnie should do, and the fact that each of their careers was about to start soon, meant that they needed every practice and rehearsal they could do.
The seconds went by longer as she started to wait. Taeyeon was usually patient but her nervousness was not making things easy. She continued to stare at the clock, hoping that Tiffany would instead appear and volunteer to take her place. But when the door clicked, she saw Jessica emerge from it instead.
"Hello." she started, Jessica looked startled with her voice.
"Hi, Taeyeon."
"Take a seat."
When Jessica did, Taeyeon felt the heavy atmosphere looming around the living room. Taeyeon closed her eyes, silently hoping to get rid of that tension they had.
"Jessica..." she started as she fumbled for words to say. Her throat started to become dry after she realized that what she was about to say was as brutal as it could get.
"I know you are enjoying your time with Yuri but you are putting something you've worked hard for, all your life, on the line. Your dancing is beginning to look poor and rusty, while your singing needs a bit more practice. I don't want to be imposing but I think you need to set yourself limits. Do you love your future or Yuri more?" Taeyeon paused and hesitated. She had totally destroyed Jessica's feelings and she never wanted to be blunt, though someone had to. She was already placed as the overseer of the group and she was doing what she felt was right. Nobody wanted Jessica to fail or mess up her priorities, nobody wanted her to hurt her feelings either. But unfortunately, it was impossible to have the best of both worlds. Jessica was meant to take in one or the other.
She saw that Jessica was about to cry and Taeyeon could totally relate. Jessica was embarrassed and Taeyeon felt that. The fact that an outsider would tell you something that you meant to hide was gravely shameful.
Taeyeon approached Jessica and she rubbed her back. She tried to comfort Jessica as much as she could, though it had been a lost cause.
"I just hope that you will be able to prioritize everything that I have talked about, Jessica. I am not saying that you should stop your relationship, but do understand that we are debuting in three months time." She gently said. The brown-haired girl looked like she was about to cry, that Taeyeon had to look away to stop herself from shedding tears. It hurt her to treat the girl this way but she had to. For Jessica’s good, for Yuri’s good, for Tiffany’s good, and for her own good. She really just had to.
“You may go now.” She said without even looking back at her.
When Jessica had left, she felt hurt just like what Jessica probably would have felt too. But her reason for feeling pain was based on an entirely different level.
---
She entered the door where she and Tiffany were staying, but she could hear Jessica's light sobs from the room next to them. Upon closing the door, Tiffany let go of the book that she held in her hands, and welcomed her with a warm embrace.
"Taeyeon, are you okay?" Tiffany caressed her back and she clenched onto the taller girl's shirt. "it's over now."
They stayed in the hug with Taeyeon silently weeping at the events, and Tiffany was considerate enough to comfort her.
"You're so cute, you know." Tiffany whispered to her and she thought it was soothing. "I love you, let it all out."
--
Taeyeon laid down in bed, with her fingers tangled with Tiffany's. Tiffany was reading a magazine, occasionally letting go to turn to the next page.
It wasn't like she willed it to occur to her, but she could not help but have doubts flood her mind. The fear of her relationship with Tiffany, facing the same fate as Yuri and Jessica was highly probable and she felt the same sadness occur to her again.
"Taeyeon what's on your mind?" Tiffany peeked over her magazine and glanced at the shorter girl.
Taeyeon hesitated as she did not want Tiffany to worry about her at all.
"Nothing." she solemnly said, though it sounded highly rehearsed.
She then saw Tiffany place the magazine on the side and gaze at her. Taeyeon tried to avoid her stare after Tiffany reached out to touch her cheek.
"What's on your mind? Tell me..."
She paused and pondered, thinking of how horrible she was for hiding such doubts. They were supposed to be caring and understanding with each other, never keeping secrets or lies. They were expected to confide in each other, to trust, and to love each other purely. And as of that moment, she felt guilty of all charges.
"It's us."
"What about us..." Tiffany stroked her cheek gently and it was breaking her heart.
It really did not occur to Taeyeon that dating would be hard while preparing for their celebrity career. She expected fights, a few jealous moments here and there, and perhaps a misunderstanding or two. The harsh reality of things was beyond her thinking, as she began to clearly realize the situation they were actually in. They were too similar to how Yuri and Jessica, maybe minus the excessive sex.
Taeyeon frowned and she held Tiffany's hand that held her cheek.
She stared at her lover, and she could see the hurt that Tiffany tried to hide, as if she already knew what Taeyeon was about to say.
So when she saw Tiffany's eyes get watery, Taeyeon immediately kissed them away.
"I love you, Taeyeon." Tiffany went to her side of the bed and embraced her. Taeyeon felt Tiffany's heart race and she calmed her down. Tiffany understood what Taeyeon wanted and Taeyeon felt confused as to whether she was supposed to feel relieved or sad that Tiffany was considerate of their situation.
"Tiffany, we need to stop this." she said, gently with each word breaking her own heart.
"I know...I understand." Taeyeon felt a big dismayed. She expected a "No." or "I don't want to" from Tiffany.
Part of her wanted the young girl to possessively claim her, beg her not to leave. But unfortunately she was greeted with the exact opposite. Like a wounded soldier, she accepted her defeat. Perhaps in another life, she thought. Maybe they would work out better than present.
"I know you're worried about us. But please, just...just let's sleep like this one last time. Just spend the rest of the day with me Taeyeon." She snuggled close to Taeyeon and Taeyeon kissed her forehead.
She felt disappointed that Tiffany did not act the way she wanted but she sighed and accepted what she had. They were moving on and though their love was dissolving, the important thing was that they had loved each other at some point in their lives.
"Remember that I'll always be yours Tiffany." she whispered to the girl sleeping by her side.
Her heart broke like tiny little shards of glass.
I know our love will linger
When the other love forgets
So I say goodbye with no regrets[3]
---------------------
[1] Billie Holiday - All of Me
[2] Billie Holiday - That’s All I Ask of You
[3] Billie Holiday - No Regrets
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3 more chapters to write omg. Lol I'm honestly exhausted with this fic but I shall persevere. YulSic, TaeNy hwaiting!
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