Better ready than impaled by a blunt object traveling at high speeds I always say...
A big pile of news and schemes of the day and such ahead. Let's number it!
1) So I've decided to apply at Sheridan for Art Fundies. I'm not half bad at art and Adam and Rosemary seem to think I'll have no trouble at all in there. Rosemary thinks even if I don't want to do anything art related I can still benefit from the environment considering my transitioning. That and my need to get in the right mind set. I'll need student loans no matter what so... I can't see any trouble coming from that. It should set me straight I hope.
2) The above WILL piss off my manager at work since I recently applied for a coordinator (fancy word for "supervisor that's treated horribly for the amount they're paid) position in my department. I mean, it's not set in stone that I'll get into animation but I think that Sheridan would take just about anyone for anything. They're money hungry. This will also get me covered by the schools medical plan and I'll be able to get my T for at least nearly free. Though getting T wasn't really any issue anyways. The surgery is going to be costly and I'm finding a really huge urge for it right now. I have so much trouble getting motivated to exercise with that stupid binder on. I go jogging for at least an hour every now and again and getting home just to struggle with the binder... it depresses me. With the weather being as muggy as it has been, it's just a constant reminder. The sooner I'm rid of it the better. I just really don't think being in school will help me in this aspect.
3) On my last doctors visit I was given information to make an appointment with a nurse who will show me how to self inject my testosterone. I called her about two or three days ago and left her a message on voice mail. She got back to me today and we've set an appointment for Aug 24fh at 3pm. I'm pretty excited about that. I didn't mind being in Toronto every two weeks but the ticket costs were really starting to effect my budget. I should have been buying 10-rides but I hate dropping $50.00 on anything at once. In any case, she also asked me to talk to my doctor about injecting weekly rather than bi-weekly. The only think that concerns me about that is that my endo is the one whose been prescribing me my T and upping my dosage and such. My family doctor has really only been giving me the injections and monitoring my health/[progress. I'm wondering if I should call my endo and ask him about doing the injections weekly.
My acne hasn't really been that bad and I've already been upped to 150mg bi-weekly. I have some around the chin. I have some acne on my back as well but to be honesty, I don't have the fucking time to shower every day. I will definitely start doing it though anyways since I sweat more than I ever have before these days. It's likely a combination of the Testosterone and the weather. Might get myself a stronger deodorant. I'm not reeking of BO but the wetness in my arm pits could use some combating. Back on topic, the nurse also asked me to bring an orange to the appointment.
4) Progress on actually telling people about my transitioning has been slow. I have a handful of friends I trust with this information. My roommates are like my family and they're very supportive. I have the usual group of friends I know who are informed. My friend that is a girl knows. I've decided a kind of order to tell people in. This is the order, I'll explain it after. a) Brother, b) Father, c) work/school. Jeff and I have been getting along better so long as we don't live with each other. Telling my father will likely ruin his life and I think I owe him the warning. My father has always had a habit of blaming Jeff for everything wrong with me. It's upsetting. I'm hoping Jeff will understand or understand eventually. I mean to really lean hard on the angle that he wants me in his life and I promise to be as supportive as I can for him but I need him too. I don't physically need him involved in the process but I need to know that if he is in my life that he'll be supportive and accepting.
My father and I don't speak much lately. I don't approve of his current coke-sniffing and party-all-night lifestyle at the age of 55. He's lost his job. I think it was due to his contract ending but knowing that was coming he should have been more prepared and he wasn't. He banked on them needing him after the contract was over and that's not a responsible thing to do. He would have known better if he were stable. Aside from all that though we've never gotten along. I don't feel like I owe him anything (an explanation included). He calls every now and than because he thinks I'm not bad at him but my short and irritated responses to him make it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with him. I know I should be helping him out of some sort of ditch here... but this is the guy that would drop me off at a soccer game than head to the bar until he had to pick me up. Not cool. I think he thinks he loves me but in reality, he's never ever been interested in anything I've done. He doesn't know anything about me. That's all I have on that one.
Work and school. I have worries about telling people I don't know. I really wish I didn't have to honestly. There are reactions I can judge with people I know. People I don't know? It can be spontaneous. In an art fundies environment though I'm not too worried. It's work I kind of worry about. All those people are so bored they like sticking their nose in other peoples business. They also enjoy talking behind your back. The thought of it bothers me. I have a few friends at work that will stick up for me though. A girl aside from Sam knows and she's been really cool about it. I want to ensure she's a friend of mine for a while. We don't really hang out very much but I think I like where we are. We're friends and that's good enough for me. I've had enough of push and pull for now. I really need to start appreciating myself more and work on my self esteem. The guy on television (from my periferals) looks like a man with the head of a segal.
5) Been playing guitar more lately. I quit a lot. But than I start up again a lot too... One might say my quits are so brief that I haven't really quit at all! Ah ha! Uh. That's all I had for that one.
I was going to say more but I can't remember what it was. That's really it for the day. We sat on the balcony and got drenched by the storm out here until we heard actual tornado warnings. We high-tailed it inside and paid close attention to the news. Things were fine by the time we were all packed up to hit the stairwell for safety. Better ready than impaled by a blunt object traveling at high speeds I always say. Our emergency kit? 1 candle, 1 band-aid with a monkey on it, a pack of playing cards and a lighter all stuffed into the back of the cats carrier. I think I just saw Ru Paul on television. Is that how you spell his name? Hopefully. Wouldn't want to misspell and insult the internet.
Two more things before I forget! Die Mannequin has a new CD coming out on September 8th that sounds FUCKING AMAZING. I can't really wait. I'm going out of my mind for it. Check out Bad Medicine on their Myspace page. I like it. I think you will like it too.
I've been on T fooooor... lets see here. Since June 3rd so thats about 2 1/2-ish months now. Let me count the days. 80ish. I'm going to talk to the roommates about surgery. I need them to help me plan this out. See if I can finanically manage it some time soon. Talk to my bank.
Anyhow. I'm going to go now... Later!
1) So I've decided to apply at Sheridan for Art Fundies. I'm not half bad at art and Adam and Rosemary seem to think I'll have no trouble at all in there. Rosemary thinks even if I don't want to do anything art related I can still benefit from the environment considering my transitioning. That and my need to get in the right mind set. I'll need student loans no matter what so... I can't see any trouble coming from that. It should set me straight I hope.
2) The above WILL piss off my manager at work since I recently applied for a coordinator (fancy word for "supervisor that's treated horribly for the amount they're paid) position in my department. I mean, it's not set in stone that I'll get into animation but I think that Sheridan would take just about anyone for anything. They're money hungry. This will also get me covered by the schools medical plan and I'll be able to get my T for at least nearly free. Though getting T wasn't really any issue anyways. The surgery is going to be costly and I'm finding a really huge urge for it right now. I have so much trouble getting motivated to exercise with that stupid binder on. I go jogging for at least an hour every now and again and getting home just to struggle with the binder... it depresses me. With the weather being as muggy as it has been, it's just a constant reminder. The sooner I'm rid of it the better. I just really don't think being in school will help me in this aspect.
3) On my last doctors visit I was given information to make an appointment with a nurse who will show me how to self inject my testosterone. I called her about two or three days ago and left her a message on voice mail. She got back to me today and we've set an appointment for Aug 24fh at 3pm. I'm pretty excited about that. I didn't mind being in Toronto every two weeks but the ticket costs were really starting to effect my budget. I should have been buying 10-rides but I hate dropping $50.00 on anything at once. In any case, she also asked me to talk to my doctor about injecting weekly rather than bi-weekly. The only think that concerns me about that is that my endo is the one whose been prescribing me my T and upping my dosage and such. My family doctor has really only been giving me the injections and monitoring my health/[progress. I'm wondering if I should call my endo and ask him about doing the injections weekly.
My acne hasn't really been that bad and I've already been upped to 150mg bi-weekly. I have some around the chin. I have some acne on my back as well but to be honesty, I don't have the fucking time to shower every day. I will definitely start doing it though anyways since I sweat more than I ever have before these days. It's likely a combination of the Testosterone and the weather. Might get myself a stronger deodorant. I'm not reeking of BO but the wetness in my arm pits could use some combating. Back on topic, the nurse also asked me to bring an orange to the appointment.
4) Progress on actually telling people about my transitioning has been slow. I have a handful of friends I trust with this information. My roommates are like my family and they're very supportive. I have the usual group of friends I know who are informed. My friend that is a girl knows. I've decided a kind of order to tell people in. This is the order, I'll explain it after. a) Brother, b) Father, c) work/school. Jeff and I have been getting along better so long as we don't live with each other. Telling my father will likely ruin his life and I think I owe him the warning. My father has always had a habit of blaming Jeff for everything wrong with me. It's upsetting. I'm hoping Jeff will understand or understand eventually. I mean to really lean hard on the angle that he wants me in his life and I promise to be as supportive as I can for him but I need him too. I don't physically need him involved in the process but I need to know that if he is in my life that he'll be supportive and accepting.
My father and I don't speak much lately. I don't approve of his current coke-sniffing and party-all-night lifestyle at the age of 55. He's lost his job. I think it was due to his contract ending but knowing that was coming he should have been more prepared and he wasn't. He banked on them needing him after the contract was over and that's not a responsible thing to do. He would have known better if he were stable. Aside from all that though we've never gotten along. I don't feel like I owe him anything (an explanation included). He calls every now and than because he thinks I'm not bad at him but my short and irritated responses to him make it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with him. I know I should be helping him out of some sort of ditch here... but this is the guy that would drop me off at a soccer game than head to the bar until he had to pick me up. Not cool. I think he thinks he loves me but in reality, he's never ever been interested in anything I've done. He doesn't know anything about me. That's all I have on that one.
Work and school. I have worries about telling people I don't know. I really wish I didn't have to honestly. There are reactions I can judge with people I know. People I don't know? It can be spontaneous. In an art fundies environment though I'm not too worried. It's work I kind of worry about. All those people are so bored they like sticking their nose in other peoples business. They also enjoy talking behind your back. The thought of it bothers me. I have a few friends at work that will stick up for me though. A girl aside from Sam knows and she's been really cool about it. I want to ensure she's a friend of mine for a while. We don't really hang out very much but I think I like where we are. We're friends and that's good enough for me. I've had enough of push and pull for now. I really need to start appreciating myself more and work on my self esteem. The guy on television (from my periferals) looks like a man with the head of a segal.
5) Been playing guitar more lately. I quit a lot. But than I start up again a lot too... One might say my quits are so brief that I haven't really quit at all! Ah ha! Uh. That's all I had for that one.
I was going to say more but I can't remember what it was. That's really it for the day. We sat on the balcony and got drenched by the storm out here until we heard actual tornado warnings. We high-tailed it inside and paid close attention to the news. Things were fine by the time we were all packed up to hit the stairwell for safety. Better ready than impaled by a blunt object traveling at high speeds I always say. Our emergency kit? 1 candle, 1 band-aid with a monkey on it, a pack of playing cards and a lighter all stuffed into the back of the cats carrier. I think I just saw Ru Paul on television. Is that how you spell his name? Hopefully. Wouldn't want to misspell and insult the internet.
Two more things before I forget! Die Mannequin has a new CD coming out on September 8th that sounds FUCKING AMAZING. I can't really wait. I'm going out of my mind for it. Check out Bad Medicine on their Myspace page. I like it. I think you will like it too.
I've been on T fooooor... lets see here. Since June 3rd so thats about 2 1/2-ish months now. Let me count the days. 80ish. I'm going to talk to the roommates about surgery. I need them to help me plan this out. See if I can finanically manage it some time soon. Talk to my bank.
Anyhow. I'm going to go now... Later!