All I Know, All I Owe, I Owe Ioway

[jacoblee]

I've been out of the city recently and back home in Iowa for my father's wedding. It's kept me busy, but it's felt really good to be back in the midwest with all the people I grew up with. Seeing so many people I remember from all sorts of different ages all together in one place made me feel so homesick for a bit...till the family drunken redneck dancing gave way, and I remembered one of the reasons I moved to NYC in the first place.
Though, it did make me realize that I should give my friends in New York more of my time and friendship. I have a really hard time accepting them as parts of my life I guess. The people in Iowa I've grown up with, but I realize more that I'm leading a new life, and new people deserve my time if they want it, but the important people deserve more of it. NY has a way of sucking your life away not from yourself, but from the self you allow to give to others. Just because I didn't grow up with these people doesn't mean I can't allow them to get close to me now. I need closer friends now more than ever.
I get very lonely. And it always confused me since I know so many people, and I know how I need to remedy it more than ever now.
But really, I need someone to play more videogames with me.