Let's be quarter-life crisis buddies! Mine's kind of at the end, but it was in full force...well, ever since I started Berklee, but it was intensified by leaving Berklee and the (self-imposed) expectation to immediately be something special and to stand out. I'm trying to slowly let myself off that hook for a while, and enjoy the small things that I love and am good at without trying to make a name for myself by doing them.
Recently I've written a couple songs that I feel good about and while it brought on a whole new batch of pressure and questions (Am I a songwriter now? What if my songs aren't good? Should I even tell anyone? What if I'm the only untalented friend in my bunch?) I'm really trying very hard to let everything I do just happen, and teach myself to ease up on the self-doubt and pressure. You, Missy, certainly inspire me to keep writing, because you blossomed into a great songwriter, and you originally came to town with no intention of that happening. I don't know what kind of pressure you felt or what questions you asked but...yeah. Anyway...
I'm glad the internship is really cool and that they're giving you more interesting things to do. Good news!
First of all I'm so impressed that you've taken the time to write! I know how easy it is to be critical of yourself and not even try to do something like write when songs are so open for judgment and critique. Remember when I wrote Vindicated 4 years ago (wow, old) and I wouldn't let anyone but you and Jill listen to it? That's a far cry from posting yourself on myspace! lol. For me, writing felt so good and soul satisfying that I had to do it. it really didn't matter if they sounded like poop or if it's never going to make me a dime I just wanted to do it so badly. I honestly believe we all have something like that. Whether it's writing sonnets or making small sweaters for celebrity's teacup chihuahuas. It just makes you feel validated. And frankly, Bravo to you for trying a plethora of things. Sometimes I wonder if I would have made a better ballerina, or cook... (as IF! lol) but you are so creative and it's awesome that you are trying everything that perks your interest. Don't let your inner critic (mine sounds strangely like my mother) tell you that you have to be a "somebody" in some revolutionary field right this second. Inner critics are not logical, just pushy.
I'm so happy that you're doing well and it's fantastic to hear from you sweety : )
Recently I've written a couple songs that I feel good about and while it brought on a whole new batch of pressure and questions (Am I a songwriter now? What if my songs aren't good? Should I even tell anyone? What if I'm the only untalented friend in my bunch?) I'm really trying very hard to let everything I do just happen, and teach myself to ease up on the self-doubt and pressure. You, Missy, certainly inspire me to keep writing, because you blossomed into a great songwriter, and you originally came to town with no intention of that happening. I don't know what kind of pressure you felt or what questions you asked but...yeah. Anyway...
I'm glad the internship is really cool and that they're giving you more interesting things to do. Good news!
Reply
I'm so happy that you're doing well and it's fantastic to hear from you sweety : )
Reply
Leave a comment