AA
So I've come to find out that the most uncomfortable moments are the ones during which you are in a large group of people and yet feel that you are all alone. At the top of this list is having to go to AA even though you are not an alcoholic. All these people looking at you as if you were a kindred spirit and when they find out that you're not hating you. Yes I do feel like they hate me. But I refuse to pretened that I have a drinking problem, I don't, at least not in fucking comparison to them, or even many people that I hang out with. Gladly I seem to be having a positive influence on those around me. Regardless. AA sucks. All I want to do while I'm there is stand up and say "sucks to be you guys cause after listening to all of this I'm going to go out tonight and have a couple Manhattans". Seriously just being there makes me want to drink even more. Which is why last week I skipped, went over to Hefs resting place and smoked a blunt with him (ironically enough the grave yard where he is is right next to the church where the AA meeting is at). AAAAAA... allright, time to go and pretend that I'm even more fucked up then I really am.