Become a Genpets™ reseller today!
I'm not sure if I should report this with a straight face or not, but if you follow the link you will find nary a wink nor a nod...
Genpets is offering bioengineered, child-safe, hypoallergenic, low-maintenance, blister-packed pets. Designed to make little noise, but keep the kids happy, these life forms have the following features:
We use a process called "Zygote Micro Injection" which is quickly becoming a favourable method to combine DNA, or to insert certain proteins from different species. Most notably it was used in 1997 to splice mice with bioluminescent jellyfish (link) and has since been used to create glowing rabbits, pigs, fish, and monkeys (link). Since then, human DNA has been injected into rabbits, chimpanzees, spider DNA into sheep, and now, Genpets have arrived!
. . .
The Genpets™ come in 2 base configurations, a 1-year model, and 3-year model.
From there we’ve broken it down even further. While each Genpet may look the same, really they aren’t. Each Genpet™ comes with a color-coded personality. For example, a child that wishes to have a Genpet™ that is very energetic would choose a Red Genpet™ (see features section for details).
Engineered DNA, engineered personalities, and engineered lifespan, it doesn’t come any better than that. Bio-Genica has you covered on all bases. Just leave the details to us.
Genpets™ are not yet available for purchase, but they are looking for resellers. Just think, this could be your big break!
That is, if you are looking to break into the business of selling pre-packaged bioengineered living beings to moppets who will indubitably abuse them. As the marketing on the site says:Parents, be advised before purchase that the all New Genpets™ from Bio-Genica are Pre-Packaged, Bio-engineered pets and are not toys; they are alive.
Genpets are low priced enough to make replacement simple should your child have an accident, making Genpets the ideal first pet.
The scary part is, this could almost be a real website displaced ten years from the future...
Genpets is offering bioengineered, child-safe, hypoallergenic, low-maintenance, blister-packed pets. Designed to make little noise, but keep the kids happy, these life forms have the following features:
- Available in 7 different personality types
- Each personality type of the Genpets has been linked to its respective colour, and that color is then used as a base for each package.
- Each package has a built in low cost heart monitor that is fully functional, with green LED lights and built in speaker.
- Every single package includes an easy to use "fresh gauge". Four simple blue LED lights display the status of the Genpet™. The display will also display if the Genpet™ has been sitting on the store shelf too long, or if the package circuitry has malfunctioned in some way.
- While the Genpets hang on the store shelves they are in a form of hibernation. Each Genpet™ package has a special nutrient feeding tube attached to it, supplying our specially formulated mix and keeping them healthy and asleep.
- Restraining the pets in their packaging ensures no damage to the product, as well as allowing for optimal consumer viewing.
We use a process called "Zygote Micro Injection" which is quickly becoming a favourable method to combine DNA, or to insert certain proteins from different species. Most notably it was used in 1997 to splice mice with bioluminescent jellyfish (link) and has since been used to create glowing rabbits, pigs, fish, and monkeys (link). Since then, human DNA has been injected into rabbits, chimpanzees, spider DNA into sheep, and now, Genpets have arrived!
. . .
The Genpets™ come in 2 base configurations, a 1-year model, and 3-year model.
From there we’ve broken it down even further. While each Genpet may look the same, really they aren’t. Each Genpet™ comes with a color-coded personality. For example, a child that wishes to have a Genpet™ that is very energetic would choose a Red Genpet™ (see features section for details).
Engineered DNA, engineered personalities, and engineered lifespan, it doesn’t come any better than that. Bio-Genica has you covered on all bases. Just leave the details to us.
Genpets™ are not yet available for purchase, but they are looking for resellers. Just think, this could be your big break!
That is, if you are looking to break into the business of selling pre-packaged bioengineered living beings to moppets who will indubitably abuse them. As the marketing on the site says:Parents, be advised before purchase that the all New Genpets™ from Bio-Genica are Pre-Packaged, Bio-engineered pets and are not toys; they are alive.
Genpets are low priced enough to make replacement simple should your child have an accident, making Genpets the ideal first pet.
The scary part is, this could almost be a real website displaced ten years from the future...