Loneliness in the life of a believer
Loneliness is a hard thing; it's one of God's best teaching tools. I don't always understand why I have to go through times of separation from the people I love. In the midst of it, it makes no sense. Despair will have you begin to think terrible lies about God and others. You will begin to act frantically and your sleep will become restless. Your ability to discern God's voice from your emotions and thoughts becomes ever increasingly rough and unskilled as everything becomes murky and blurry. Loneliness will tempt you to blow all your money on phone cards just to talk with people you know and love. It will keep you chained to your bed in the morning and wondering how in the world you can continue without someone or someones. It will consume you heart, mind, soul, and body, and Satan uses our solo flying to pick us off and take us down in similar, monotonous ways. You'll pity yourself and fall into darkness and sin.
There are two things that must be understood in order to have a correct worldview concerning loneliness as Believers in Christ.
1) You were made in the image of a Trinitarian, relational God who says things like, "It is not good for man to be alone", and "love one another with brotherly love", and "by this they will know me: that you love one another." He made the family and is the head of the church - a fully functioning body of relationship made to interact like a...well a body...or a symphony.
Therefore: love the church. Get involved in other believers' lives. Don't live solo; you have no idea what you're missing. Yes, community and relationships are hard at times, but they are a treasure of indescribably worth that cannot be bought. The Spirit yearns for unity and love in truth.
2) Jesus is God, Savior, and highest satisfaction. God our Father will not have us finding our pleasure in anything above him; he loves us too deeply to allow us to rob ourselves of him. When we are most satisfied in Christ, he is most Glorified. When we revel in our relationship with God, as his blood bought sons and daughters, co-heirs with Christ who are predestined and elected to a heavenly heritage, we can and will endure all on this earth that God has for our lives.
Therefore: do not allow affection for the church to subjugate love for Jesus and thus love for the church. Listen to me closely. If your source of satisfaction and identity begin to be found in the people around you, God may take them away. It's like Jesus said about losing our lives; it's the only way to save them. If you want community in the church, love God and focus on Him, for you will get him and the rest will be thrown in for extra if He sees fit.
What you really do when you elevate earthly relationships above heavenly ones, is you begin to attach conditions to that "love" of yours. Because they have become your source of satisfaction, when they break and sin and let you down, you have lost your joy and hope, and with the loss of those things you will quickly find out what that "love" really was: a selfish, self-seeking desire. Human love will always be contingent because we are not the source of love. We love because HE first loved us, for GOD IS LOVE. Therefore, your contingencies must be laid upon the One who will not let down. When we have our contingencies met in Christ and are made whole and unattached to the world, we are then able to love it as Christ does. This is how Christians are beaten, spit on, lied to, and just generally sinned against yet are able to forgive and love in return, because this is how Jesus did this. He is the firstborn; he is preeminent, and we are to be conformed to His image and thus glorify God.
Some of you are alone or lonely right now because God wants your joy in Him. He wants to be glorified in your weakness and show His value supreme over friends and family. Indeed, Jesus said, "Blessed is anyone who leaves his family and home for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel."
To those of you who are not in Biblical community and are able to be I say this: Get in one. You have no excuse to be lonely and separated, and you are in fact commanded to be with the Body of Christ severing and loving one another. You have no idea what you are missing, and God desires to reveal Himself in glorious, great ways through other believers.
To those of you currently cut off from the Body of Christ I say this: dig into the word and get on your knees. You are in school, and your assignment is to learn to treasure Christ above anything or anyone this world has to offer. Rejoice in your sufferings and know the beatings will continue until morale improves. Look at men like Paul, who were deeply acquainted with loneliness and sorrow, and learn from them. Make God your all, and don't leave your room in the morning nor go to bed without delighting yourself in all that God is for you in Christ - his Gospel, his promises, your future home. Allow your desire for friends and family to reveal how you should desire God and how sweet it will be to finally be with Him and them in heaven. Let it remind you of all those who are also lonely, emotionally or spiritually because they don't know Christ. This is especially hard for missionaries who are serving in areas bearing little fruit; my heart aches for you.
To those of you currently enjoying Holy Spirit led and grown community I say this: Rejoice in this gift of our gracious God. Enjoy it; relish it; revel in it; learn from it; grow in it. But do not let anyone steer you from Christ (quickly or slowly), and be prepared for very likely storms ahead. And do not forget those who are separated from the body. Do not forget those who are in prison; write your missionaries letters and pray for them. Remember the orphans and widows and do something about it. Reach out to those who are not connected with Biblical community who are believers. Reach out into the unbelieving world and show them the love of Christ incarnate in your love for them and especially the brethren. Pray for them, and continue to pray for the unity among those you are with.
Fight for you Joy, especially when alone. Our sorrow is always to be hopeful for it should be rooted in the Gospel.
