Danger-Keep Away
....I'm sorry but I was watching a thing on T.V that just..made me think of how lucky I am to have Chelsey..it was a g/f and a guy....and how the girl treated him...and broke up with him..not sure if it was in the dream too though...but ..gah...made me have a dream or make THE DREAM turn into something different...the first part was whispering "We too feel alone", over and over...like in the song danger-keep away, from slipknot, then
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
...I won't..let you walk away..without hearing what I have to say..
And it was an assortment of...past events with ex girlfriends that scarred my trust in people, and how they all walked away..without hearing..what I HAVE TO SAY! Everytime I THINK ABOUT that dream, I think of them and how they ALL walked away and not of their insipid asses heard ME OUT! I was breaking down in the dream, they were all lined up from the first to last (except chelsey, who was the savior of the dream, and at the end made it all better ), but I can recall what I said and what they said back...I was in the paralled room of black and red smeared ALLL over and made everything this blurry red and black picasso...Catie was first...she was hsallow and all I said was..."Liar"...she said "Spencer.."...and she pulled out my heart and but it with a knife, and dropped it and walked away, I was speechless and picked it up and put it back in...I tried to say something..like "Wait!, I have something to say!"...but she was gone before I could breathe. I walked over to lilly..I jus twalked past her and laughed is all I recall...she was screaming in the background though as I passed by...but nicole came..and then she got on her knees and told me she loved me as soon as I got there, she had hot topic pants with FUBU on it..I said "you do?", she said "yeah, of course, don't you believe me?!" I said...yeah, I do...then she yawned and a boy passed behind her, I just knew he was a boy...that was it, and she did what caitie did with my heart and ran off calling me names. Lastly was....her...yeah...Kayla..A lot of it was dealing with her, because she scarred my trust more than any of them, ok then I told the rest to Chelsey so ill post the convo here...
AdemaSOADKorn: :-\
Xooceanpacific: yah
Xooceanpacific: What was weird though
Xooceanpacific: is when I got to Kayla
Xooceanpacific: I KNEW all that happened
Xooceanpacific: and I KNEW what was gonna happen
AdemaSOADKorn: what do u mean
AdemaSOADKorn: what happened
Xooceanpacific: so I SCREAMED all I had to say to her, even though it was liek we were going out and none of that bad stuff happened
Xooceanpacific: I Knew she was gonna dump me and all that jazz, but it was liek it didnt happen
Xooceanpacific: yet
AdemaSOADKorn: oh
AdemaSOADKorn: what did u say to her
Xooceanpacific: she was crying real hard
Xooceanpacific: I was like "YOU! YOu're the one in NEVER ENDING PAIN!?
Xooceanpacific: YOU THINK YOU KNOW PAIN!
Xooceanpacific: Ill scream it!
Xooceanpacific: You SIT THERE IN YOUR ROOM MOANING ABOUT A BOY YOU CANT HAVE!
Xooceanpacific: and HOW DEPRRESSED YOUARE!
AdemaSOADKorn: eh
Xooceanpacific: WELL REMEMBER, REMEMBER IT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT, AND YOU STILL BEEN HAPPY, BUT YOU KILLED ME ON THE INSIDE! BUT THANK YOU FOR RIPPING ME APART OTHERWISE I COULDNT OF HAD CHELSEY!
Xooceanpacific: She repaired me! Made me ME! Something none of you could of ever done!
Xooceanpacific: and I owe her my life
Xooceanpacific: and my emotions
Xooceanpacific: and I od chelsey
Xooceanpacific: *do
Xooceanpacific: I owe you all of that
Xooceanpacific: I remember how the pain seethed...how much it hurt to cry so much
Xooceanpacific: I look back on it and it seems so far away now
Xooceanpacific: Ive been happy so long
Xooceanpacific: its great
Xooceanpacific: but anyways
AdemaSOADKorn: ((is almost in tears))
Xooceanpacific: you came inside the dream..and kayla walked off crying
Xooceanpacific: Kayla looked at me, and Ben came along....she snapped as if she never knew me...it both were there as if I was invisible...
Xooceanpacific: ben walked away after they talked
Xooceanpacific: and after he left
Xooceanpacific: she got so depressed and obsessive
Xooceanpacific: she was saying to herself
Xooceanpacific: YOur the reason I left RJ! WHy cant I tell you THAT! I was almost in tears
Xooceanpacific: You touched me
Xooceanpacific: and all of a sudden
Xooceanpacific: I was staing at you
Xooceanpacific: and you said "hey!"
Xooceanpacific: I said "Chelsey?"
Xooceanpacific: You said, I knoew your prob stll mad at me....but I just have to tell you i am sorry
Xooceanpacific: and I was like NO NO NO Im not MAD!
Xooceanpacific: you said "REally?
Xooceanpacific: ..and I cant member the rest
Xooceanpacific: we jus tstarted
AdemaSOADKorn: (don't think i'm not payin attention, i just can't find words to really say)
Xooceanpacific: talking about sharks
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: and Around te end I told you I loved you
Xooceanpacific: and you asked me if I really mean that
Xooceanpacific: and I pulled out my heart with all these cuts and gashes in it and said "With all my heart'
Xooceanpacific: you asked how they got there and I told you about my exes
Xooceanpacific: you said "Its better now....its the way its supposed to be now"
Xooceanpacific: ...and I woke up sweating
Xooceanpacific: Sorry..the dreams seems corny
Xooceanpacific: and unreal
AdemaSOADKorn: no
AdemaSOADKorn: it's very
AdemaSOADKorn: just... i dunno
Xooceanpacific: but...yeah
AdemaSOADKorn: ((hugs))
Xooceanpacific: I woke up feeling SO LUCKY to have you
AdemaSOADKorn: =^)
Xooceanpacific: I was like...the darkness is gone
AdemaSOADKorn: how long ago did u have it?
Xooceanpacific: please dont everleave
AdemaSOADKorn: =^)
AdemaSOADKorn: I won't
AdemaSOADKorn: I'd never leave you
Xooceanpacific: 2-3 days
Xooceanpacific: I think
Xooceanpacific: ...errmmm
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: fuck
AdemaSOADKorn: It doesn't matter
Xooceanpacific: I dont wanna update it now lol
AdemaSOADKorn: i.. just .... God, I love you
AdemaSOADKorn: lol why not??
Xooceanpacific: Already told you it
AdemaSOADKorn: no update
AdemaSOADKorn: i wanna show my friends
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: ...k
AdemaSOADKorn: and i wanna go look at it and feel happy that ur not sad anymore
Xooceanpacific: shit, ill post out IM since I told you the rest
AdemaSOADKorn: lol ok
AdemaSOADKorn: hey rj..
Xooceanpacific: yah
Xooceanpacific: ?
AdemaSOADKorn: I love you
Xooceanpacific: ....::in tears::
Xooceanpacific: I love you too
Xooceanpacific:
AdemaSOADKorn: ((hugs))
AdemaSOADKorn: i was about tocry
Xooceanpacific: I guess this is why I like the songs danger keep away and Screm so much
AdemaSOADKorn: but since my brother is here... i'm just starin blankly...
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
AdemaSOADKorn: btw gotta burn those for me
It was a odd dream...but...so much pent up thing I hadda say were released...and yeah...the un attainable is the worse kind of pain...and I never have to go through it again..I love you Chelsey...always will...thank you for giving me life I love you so much!
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
...I won't..let you walk away..without hearing what I have to say..
And it was an assortment of...past events with ex girlfriends that scarred my trust in people, and how they all walked away..without hearing..what I HAVE TO SAY! Everytime I THINK ABOUT that dream, I think of them and how they ALL walked away and not of their insipid asses heard ME OUT! I was breaking down in the dream, they were all lined up from the first to last (except chelsey, who was the savior of the dream, and at the end made it all better ), but I can recall what I said and what they said back...I was in the paralled room of black and red smeared ALLL over and made everything this blurry red and black picasso...Catie was first...she was hsallow and all I said was..."Liar"...she said "Spencer.."...and she pulled out my heart and but it with a knife, and dropped it and walked away, I was speechless and picked it up and put it back in...I tried to say something..like "Wait!, I have something to say!"...but she was gone before I could breathe. I walked over to lilly..I jus twalked past her and laughed is all I recall...she was screaming in the background though as I passed by...but nicole came..and then she got on her knees and told me she loved me as soon as I got there, she had hot topic pants with FUBU on it..I said "you do?", she said "yeah, of course, don't you believe me?!" I said...yeah, I do...then she yawned and a boy passed behind her, I just knew he was a boy...that was it, and she did what caitie did with my heart and ran off calling me names. Lastly was....her...yeah...Kayla..A lot of it was dealing with her, because she scarred my trust more than any of them, ok then I told the rest to Chelsey so ill post the convo here...
AdemaSOADKorn: :-\
Xooceanpacific: yah
Xooceanpacific: What was weird though
Xooceanpacific: is when I got to Kayla
Xooceanpacific: I KNEW all that happened
Xooceanpacific: and I KNEW what was gonna happen
AdemaSOADKorn: what do u mean
AdemaSOADKorn: what happened
Xooceanpacific: so I SCREAMED all I had to say to her, even though it was liek we were going out and none of that bad stuff happened
Xooceanpacific: I Knew she was gonna dump me and all that jazz, but it was liek it didnt happen
Xooceanpacific: yet
AdemaSOADKorn: oh
AdemaSOADKorn: what did u say to her
Xooceanpacific: she was crying real hard
Xooceanpacific: I was like "YOU! YOu're the one in NEVER ENDING PAIN!?
Xooceanpacific: YOU THINK YOU KNOW PAIN!
Xooceanpacific: Ill scream it!
Xooceanpacific: You SIT THERE IN YOUR ROOM MOANING ABOUT A BOY YOU CANT HAVE!
Xooceanpacific: and HOW DEPRRESSED YOUARE!
AdemaSOADKorn: eh
Xooceanpacific: WELL REMEMBER, REMEMBER IT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT, AND YOU STILL BEEN HAPPY, BUT YOU KILLED ME ON THE INSIDE! BUT THANK YOU FOR RIPPING ME APART OTHERWISE I COULDNT OF HAD CHELSEY!
Xooceanpacific: She repaired me! Made me ME! Something none of you could of ever done!
Xooceanpacific: and I owe her my life
Xooceanpacific: and my emotions
Xooceanpacific: and I od chelsey
Xooceanpacific: *do
Xooceanpacific: I owe you all of that
Xooceanpacific: I remember how the pain seethed...how much it hurt to cry so much
Xooceanpacific: I look back on it and it seems so far away now
Xooceanpacific: Ive been happy so long
Xooceanpacific: its great
Xooceanpacific: but anyways
AdemaSOADKorn: ((is almost in tears))
Xooceanpacific: you came inside the dream..and kayla walked off crying
Xooceanpacific: Kayla looked at me, and Ben came along....she snapped as if she never knew me...it both were there as if I was invisible...
Xooceanpacific: ben walked away after they talked
Xooceanpacific: and after he left
Xooceanpacific: she got so depressed and obsessive
Xooceanpacific: she was saying to herself
Xooceanpacific: YOur the reason I left RJ! WHy cant I tell you THAT! I was almost in tears
Xooceanpacific: You touched me
Xooceanpacific: and all of a sudden
Xooceanpacific: I was staing at you
Xooceanpacific: and you said "hey!"
Xooceanpacific: I said "Chelsey?"
Xooceanpacific: You said, I knoew your prob stll mad at me....but I just have to tell you i am sorry
Xooceanpacific: and I was like NO NO NO Im not MAD!
Xooceanpacific: you said "REally?
Xooceanpacific: ..and I cant member the rest
Xooceanpacific: we jus tstarted
AdemaSOADKorn: (don't think i'm not payin attention, i just can't find words to really say)
Xooceanpacific: talking about sharks
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: and Around te end I told you I loved you
Xooceanpacific: and you asked me if I really mean that
Xooceanpacific: and I pulled out my heart with all these cuts and gashes in it and said "With all my heart'
Xooceanpacific: you asked how they got there and I told you about my exes
Xooceanpacific: you said "Its better now....its the way its supposed to be now"
Xooceanpacific: ...and I woke up sweating
Xooceanpacific: Sorry..the dreams seems corny
Xooceanpacific: and unreal
AdemaSOADKorn: no
AdemaSOADKorn: it's very
AdemaSOADKorn: just... i dunno
Xooceanpacific: but...yeah
AdemaSOADKorn: ((hugs))
Xooceanpacific: I woke up feeling SO LUCKY to have you
AdemaSOADKorn: =^)
Xooceanpacific: I was like...the darkness is gone
AdemaSOADKorn: how long ago did u have it?
Xooceanpacific: please dont everleave
AdemaSOADKorn: =^)
AdemaSOADKorn: I won't
AdemaSOADKorn: I'd never leave you
Xooceanpacific: 2-3 days
Xooceanpacific: I think
Xooceanpacific: ...errmmm
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: fuck
AdemaSOADKorn: It doesn't matter
Xooceanpacific: I dont wanna update it now lol
AdemaSOADKorn: i.. just .... God, I love you
AdemaSOADKorn: lol why not??
Xooceanpacific: Already told you it
AdemaSOADKorn: no update
AdemaSOADKorn: i wanna show my friends
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
Xooceanpacific: ...k
AdemaSOADKorn: and i wanna go look at it and feel happy that ur not sad anymore
Xooceanpacific: shit, ill post out IM since I told you the rest
AdemaSOADKorn: lol ok
AdemaSOADKorn: hey rj..
Xooceanpacific: yah
Xooceanpacific: ?
AdemaSOADKorn: I love you
Xooceanpacific: ....::in tears::
Xooceanpacific: I love you too
Xooceanpacific:
AdemaSOADKorn: ((hugs))
AdemaSOADKorn: i was about tocry
Xooceanpacific: I guess this is why I like the songs danger keep away and Screm so much
AdemaSOADKorn: but since my brother is here... i'm just starin blankly...
AdemaSOADKorn: lol
AdemaSOADKorn: btw gotta burn those for me
It was a odd dream...but...so much pent up thing I hadda say were released...and yeah...the un attainable is the worse kind of pain...and I never have to go through it again..I love you Chelsey...always will...thank you for giving me life I love you so much!