(no subject)
Ok. The whole Let Me Tell You! about my first shifts in the hospital has been moved to the end of this entry because I have to rant about shit.
Like what the hell people that shit on you for doing something. Like they think it's funny you're doing ANYTHING worth while. Or that you're doing something to piss them off. YEAH, the reason I became vegan was just to piss you off and make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe I want to become a nurse practioner or doctor because I WANT TO. Sorry you got roped into nursing because your parents suck and use having children as a retirement plan. Who the fuck cares if I'm going to be like 30 when I finish school. (Side note I HATE when people don't mind their own business. Like go take care of your own shit. Aren't you complaining about your uniform being tight on you, so stop shitting on my low calorie yet filling vegan lunch that I brown bagged.)
PEOPLE are idiots. Why am I even friends with people? Excuse me while I go buy a cabin in Montana and send exploding packageds to airline companies. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE someties. So sometimes I wonder why I'm going into the health care industry. Because you can't be biased towards stupid people.
But then of course being assigned to the OB ward is like a world of WTF am I doing? I liked doing the work. Even though I totally fucked up taking her blood pressure the first time. People will give their left nut to have their BP taken. Like "I have AIDS, but my BP is normal so I'm healthy." So about my client: She was 8 months pregnant when she experienced vaginal spotting. Your vagina bleeding while pregnant is not of the good. In your first trimester it could mean spontaneous abortion. So my client's baby is born preterm and gets put in an incubator in the Neonatal ICU. Which the thought of breaks my heart. The baby was delivered cesarean section. Later my client underwent a hysterectomy because she had myomas all up in her uterus.
Which I had to make up a nursing care plan for (risk for dysfunctional Grieving) because hysterectomy patients usually feel like they have lost their identity and being a mother is like only thing my client has. Which is why I was up for 12 hours typing up her case. And I felt like such a loser. Because at one point my client was crying on the phone and I didn't know how to cheer her up. So I just changed the sheets on her bed. I mean that day she was getting discharged but her son had to stay in the NICU which must suck plus she just lost her womanhood. I don't even know what to say. I'm just there if you need someone to listen.
And seeing all those babies is a mixed bag. I mean YAY babies are awesome and they're a clean slate. And I wonder what they'll grow up to be like. And then I find myself worrying about babies I'll never see again. Like what if their parents suck and they grow up to be a stupid person I abhorr so much.
But for now the babies are like a little bundle of potential. They are so damned cute which allows me to block out the fact that they're going to grow up to be dumbasses. They are so tiny and not even a month old. And in that moment though, life is amazing and just maybe there's a higher power because even in a hospital where a life is ending another one is ending.
We'll see about that though when I go through my first patient death.
Like what the hell people that shit on you for doing something. Like they think it's funny you're doing ANYTHING worth while. Or that you're doing something to piss them off. YEAH, the reason I became vegan was just to piss you off and make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe I want to become a nurse practioner or doctor because I WANT TO. Sorry you got roped into nursing because your parents suck and use having children as a retirement plan. Who the fuck cares if I'm going to be like 30 when I finish school. (Side note I HATE when people don't mind their own business. Like go take care of your own shit. Aren't you complaining about your uniform being tight on you, so stop shitting on my low calorie yet filling vegan lunch that I brown bagged.)
PEOPLE are idiots. Why am I even friends with people? Excuse me while I go buy a cabin in Montana and send exploding packageds to airline companies. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE someties. So sometimes I wonder why I'm going into the health care industry. Because you can't be biased towards stupid people.
But then of course being assigned to the OB ward is like a world of WTF am I doing? I liked doing the work. Even though I totally fucked up taking her blood pressure the first time. People will give their left nut to have their BP taken. Like "I have AIDS, but my BP is normal so I'm healthy." So about my client: She was 8 months pregnant when she experienced vaginal spotting. Your vagina bleeding while pregnant is not of the good. In your first trimester it could mean spontaneous abortion. So my client's baby is born preterm and gets put in an incubator in the Neonatal ICU. Which the thought of breaks my heart. The baby was delivered cesarean section. Later my client underwent a hysterectomy because she had myomas all up in her uterus.
Which I had to make up a nursing care plan for (risk for dysfunctional Grieving) because hysterectomy patients usually feel like they have lost their identity and being a mother is like only thing my client has. Which is why I was up for 12 hours typing up her case. And I felt like such a loser. Because at one point my client was crying on the phone and I didn't know how to cheer her up. So I just changed the sheets on her bed. I mean that day she was getting discharged but her son had to stay in the NICU which must suck plus she just lost her womanhood. I don't even know what to say. I'm just there if you need someone to listen.
And seeing all those babies is a mixed bag. I mean YAY babies are awesome and they're a clean slate. And I wonder what they'll grow up to be like. And then I find myself worrying about babies I'll never see again. Like what if their parents suck and they grow up to be a stupid person I abhorr so much.
But for now the babies are like a little bundle of potential. They are so damned cute which allows me to block out the fact that they're going to grow up to be dumbasses. They are so tiny and not even a month old. And in that moment though, life is amazing and just maybe there's a higher power because even in a hospital where a life is ending another one is ending.
We'll see about that though when I go through my first patient death.