(no subject)
Exactly two years ago I graduated. Like always, I have two pretty strong reactions to such a realization.
Firstly, how different I am from that period in my life. I think very little of the person I was in college remains. Or, to better phrase it: I'm a much more balanced and functional human being. I think that essentially from the summer after my junior year in college onward, I was trying to contain a life and world that was very rapidly disappearing and or flying off the goddamned rails. The stranger thing is that my world did not stop spiraling out of control until I moved back home. I'm still realizing things about life in college and Washington that might have been better appreciated if I hadn't so stubbornly kept my eyes closed.
But sometimes it's easier to keep moving when you don't stop and think about the fact that the only reason all of the men at the theatre know your name is because they want to fuck you. And there's nothing remotely funny or silly about that to me any more. I suppose I shouldn't have repressed that reaction for so long.
The second reaction is that really...I'm not doing anything with what I learned about in school. My knowledge of computers and music programs had very, very little to do with FSU and much more to do with actually just doing design. I don't regret the time I spent in school, because it put me where I am now...which I couldn't really ask for anything more. But I had a nagging feeling when I was in Tallahassee last week that there were a lot of people I wish I stayed in contact with a whole lot better than I do now. Nothing to be done.
In six days I'm flying to Miami. In a week my nephew will be two. In eleven days I will be twenty four.
Is it pathetic that I'm kind of having a quarter-life crisis?
Survey says...yes.
OUT!
Firstly, how different I am from that period in my life. I think very little of the person I was in college remains. Or, to better phrase it: I'm a much more balanced and functional human being. I think that essentially from the summer after my junior year in college onward, I was trying to contain a life and world that was very rapidly disappearing and or flying off the goddamned rails. The stranger thing is that my world did not stop spiraling out of control until I moved back home. I'm still realizing things about life in college and Washington that might have been better appreciated if I hadn't so stubbornly kept my eyes closed.
But sometimes it's easier to keep moving when you don't stop and think about the fact that the only reason all of the men at the theatre know your name is because they want to fuck you. And there's nothing remotely funny or silly about that to me any more. I suppose I shouldn't have repressed that reaction for so long.
The second reaction is that really...I'm not doing anything with what I learned about in school. My knowledge of computers and music programs had very, very little to do with FSU and much more to do with actually just doing design. I don't regret the time I spent in school, because it put me where I am now...which I couldn't really ask for anything more. But I had a nagging feeling when I was in Tallahassee last week that there were a lot of people I wish I stayed in contact with a whole lot better than I do now. Nothing to be done.
In six days I'm flying to Miami. In a week my nephew will be two. In eleven days I will be twenty four.
Is it pathetic that I'm kind of having a quarter-life crisis?
Survey says...yes.
OUT!