(no subject)
i cant belive somone.. you, of all people, you were taken away like this. we went so far back.. my ex boyfriend! god. i cant even put words into sentences. you were the first person i could look in the eye and say what i wanted to say. i was always able to be myself around you...we had so much in common. sure we fought alot. broke up a million times but got back together. untill recently.. we hadn't talked. every now and then we'd talk.. nothing important.. more of the remember me? kinda thing. now while i look back.. why did we even ask that? while i should have been asking how you were.. when we were going to hang out again.. i just can't process through my head that your gone. there is something incredibly painstaking from this.. i keep calling your cellphone..one of these times your bound to pick up? but at the back of my mind.. i know you wont. when i saw rip rob on dashas livejournal.. my heart just sank. i thought my stomache collapsed. rob. gone. just like this. i hadnt even talked to you!! there was so much left for me to say!! you were ALWAYS there when i needed to talk, ALWAYS there to be helpful and so sweet. of all people.. you. it seems like we havent talked inforever. maybe up in heaven your reading this. god, i don't even know. today was such a bad day. the worst tuesday i've had. all i got was sympathy looks. its alot better to say your sorry about it rather than act like nothing happened. this is the first death out of all of the 7 from our school and everything that i've actually really known the person, and thats alot to take in. i was up so late last night just thinking.. imagining everything. it was so hard to wake up this morning knowing i'd have to face it again. i'm sure your all saying i'm blowing this out of porportion, but you know, atleast i care. i'll never forget how much you cared, and i'll never forget our little plan we had at the cooler..haha, and most of all, i'll never forget all the feelings i had for you.
peace out, roxy boy.
