(no subject)
Fuck. Just fuck.
I hate this. I feel so left out and unwanted by everyone. The people that really mattered, and really listened are all gone away or back in Port Colborne.
I hate how my parents are so wrapped up in themselves and their jobs to bother to spend quality time or even give a flying fuck about how I'm doing. They've probably asked maybe once or twice how I'm doing, and my mom just likes to bitch me out on which one of the mothering roles that i didn't fufill in her place. And then all she has time for is to sit on the fucking couch with some tea and bitch at me because I want to have friends over. She works all fucking weekend, and when she does have time, you know what she does? Fucking works in the garden. Fuck her garden. Fuck it. I won't be second place to her fucking job AND the garden.
I just come home from a fucking 10pm class, and there no food in the house, and theres a pile of fucking dishes. fuck you. fuck my "Duties" for a fucking second and do something nice for a change. Not to mention that they won't listen to me when I actually say something that might improve the way I do things, like the way they DON'T rinse dishes and then just leave them around, then yell at me because they're crusty. I don't want to to be my sister's mother. I don't want to make her dinner every night and have to take her into school. And then I barely get thanks, usually it's maybe a half an hour there, just to spend time with me to appease me or something. At least let me have fucking friends over for someone to talk to if you're not going to be around. I hate it here. I hate it so much.
And screw you when you mess up my saturday nights, its not even like she's making time for me, she's making time for all her little friends to come over, in the ONLY time that I can have people over. Its not like i bother people on friday nights.
I hate school. I hate university, i have no friends other than ken and doug, and I never hung out with them much, so time is still needed to ensure trust.... I don't know what to do. I hate the work, and the mass amounts of people, I feel so scared and intimidated, and I have no one to talk to because everyone assumes I'm whining.
Don't even get me started on my dad. I'm selfish, I'm messy, I'm a slob, I have no study skills, I'm always late. Look where I get it from dickwad. Quit being so wrapped up in yourself and actually notice that you have TWO daughters and occasionally you can't go for your precious bike-ride becaus you have to be home for her.
I hate this. I feel so left out and unwanted by everyone. The people that really mattered, and really listened are all gone away or back in Port Colborne.
I hate how my parents are so wrapped up in themselves and their jobs to bother to spend quality time or even give a flying fuck about how I'm doing. They've probably asked maybe once or twice how I'm doing, and my mom just likes to bitch me out on which one of the mothering roles that i didn't fufill in her place. And then all she has time for is to sit on the fucking couch with some tea and bitch at me because I want to have friends over. She works all fucking weekend, and when she does have time, you know what she does? Fucking works in the garden. Fuck her garden. Fuck it. I won't be second place to her fucking job AND the garden.
I just come home from a fucking 10pm class, and there no food in the house, and theres a pile of fucking dishes. fuck you. fuck my "Duties" for a fucking second and do something nice for a change. Not to mention that they won't listen to me when I actually say something that might improve the way I do things, like the way they DON'T rinse dishes and then just leave them around, then yell at me because they're crusty. I don't want to to be my sister's mother. I don't want to make her dinner every night and have to take her into school. And then I barely get thanks, usually it's maybe a half an hour there, just to spend time with me to appease me or something. At least let me have fucking friends over for someone to talk to if you're not going to be around. I hate it here. I hate it so much.
And screw you when you mess up my saturday nights, its not even like she's making time for me, she's making time for all her little friends to come over, in the ONLY time that I can have people over. Its not like i bother people on friday nights.
I hate school. I hate university, i have no friends other than ken and doug, and I never hung out with them much, so time is still needed to ensure trust.... I don't know what to do. I hate the work, and the mass amounts of people, I feel so scared and intimidated, and I have no one to talk to because everyone assumes I'm whining.
Don't even get me started on my dad. I'm selfish, I'm messy, I'm a slob, I have no study skills, I'm always late. Look where I get it from dickwad. Quit being so wrapped up in yourself and actually notice that you have TWO daughters and occasionally you can't go for your precious bike-ride becaus you have to be home for her.