Compassion fatigue
This is as far as I've gotten in my research. I, personally, think Aria provides me a portion of my life in which I can take, be selfish, be greedy. It is important to me, to my mental health, to my sanity, I believe to have this time to take what I desire from Aria, to make demands of her. And it is important to my relationship with Goddess not to make these same kind of selfish demands on Her. Some of how I've tried to meet my needs may not be constructive, may even be self-destructive, but I think that is in the nature of the condition I am experiencing.
Not only can I not be all things to all people, I can't be all things to one person. I need some time in which I don't feel I'm responsible for people's feelings, for things failing, for whether small furry creatures live or die, and so forth.
My relationship with Aria is life-affirming to me. I don't know if this is the result of compassion fatigue or mid-life crisis or anti-depressants working too well or not well enough. I just know that, at this moment, I have to hold on to what I believe I need to nourish and sustain me; and I know that Goddess has to do the same. And so we have this precarious balance, and we're talking about it and trying to work it out....
http://www.neurosy.org/caregiving/thecaregiver/compassion.shtml
"There has to be a portion of your life in which you need to take, rather than give."
"You need to seek assistance from others - siblings, relatives, friends and neighbors - to give yourself a breather."
http://www.employeefamilyassistance.torontopolice.on.ca/baranowsky1.html
Posttraumatic stress effects individuals differently but is identified by three categories of symptoms: (1) intrusive thoughts, images and sensations; (2) avoidance of people, places, things and experiences which elicit memories of the traumatic experience, and (3) negative arousal in the forms hypervigiliance, sleep disturbances, irritability and anxiety. These symptoms combine to form a state of physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual volatility in traumatized individuals, families and groups (van der Kolk, 1996; Janet, 1889). Persons who work closely with these groups and individuals are vulnerable to the contagion of this volatility. Some caregivers appear to be more resilient than others to the transmission of traumatic stress, however, any caregiver who continually works with traumatized individuals is at-risk for compassion fatigue.
http://www.isu.edu/~bhstamm/ts/vt.htm
bibliography on secondary trauma
Not only can I not be all things to all people, I can't be all things to one person. I need some time in which I don't feel I'm responsible for people's feelings, for things failing, for whether small furry creatures live or die, and so forth.
My relationship with Aria is life-affirming to me. I don't know if this is the result of compassion fatigue or mid-life crisis or anti-depressants working too well or not well enough. I just know that, at this moment, I have to hold on to what I believe I need to nourish and sustain me; and I know that Goddess has to do the same. And so we have this precarious balance, and we're talking about it and trying to work it out....
http://www.neurosy.org/caregiving/thecaregiver/compassion.shtml
"There has to be a portion of your life in which you need to take, rather than give."
"You need to seek assistance from others - siblings, relatives, friends and neighbors - to give yourself a breather."
http://www.employeefamilyassistance.torontopolice.on.ca/baranowsky1.html
Posttraumatic stress effects individuals differently but is identified by three categories of symptoms: (1) intrusive thoughts, images and sensations; (2) avoidance of people, places, things and experiences which elicit memories of the traumatic experience, and (3) negative arousal in the forms hypervigiliance, sleep disturbances, irritability and anxiety. These symptoms combine to form a state of physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual volatility in traumatized individuals, families and groups (van der Kolk, 1996; Janet, 1889). Persons who work closely with these groups and individuals are vulnerable to the contagion of this volatility. Some caregivers appear to be more resilient than others to the transmission of traumatic stress, however, any caregiver who continually works with traumatized individuals is at-risk for compassion fatigue.
http://www.isu.edu/~bhstamm/ts/vt.htm
bibliography on secondary trauma