R to the A to the P to the E!
Well, I was just thinking. In real life, rape isn't as cool as movies make it look. And by movies I mean porn. Usually, a guy like holds a girls mouth closed while doing her, but you can tell she's enjoying it. If SADD week has taught me antyhing (which it hasn't) It's that rape is usually violent, and the girl gets pregnant and shit. I have a solution to that. It's called the A Plotkin Gentleman Rape Plan:
Let's start with the dark alleyway scenario
You see a hot girl walking all by herself through a dark alley. Without a care in the world. Suddenly, you jump out and grab her. But gently. You introduce yourself to her, so it's not like you're a stranger. Once you're both acquainted, whip out your penis. Take out a condom, and put it on. They should make special "rape-condoms" that are like unbreakable. Just in case. So you guys go at it. If you're gonna go at it on the ground, bring like a blanket so she doesn't get too dirty. If you can, bust all over the ground, or her face, as long as it isn't in her. So the chances of pregnancy are lower. She'll thank you for it later. When you're done. Bring some soap or something so she can clean herself up. Once you're both cleaned up, she will probably thank you for being so considerate. Not only did you introduce yourself, but you tried to not get her pregnant, and helped her clean up after. If you were really good, she may even ask for your number. SCORE! If she was good, give it to her. But DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT hit her, unless she asks you to like cockslap her while youre going at it. Remember, she knows your name. And if you gave you her address, that too (even though I have no idea why you would do that, unless you took her home to have some nice voluntary sex).
The second scenario is the date rape.
You're with this girl on a date, but she won't let you have sex with her. So slip her some drugs. But to be considerate, give her enough to keep her fucked up the whole time. Then, she will be fucked up when you guys are going at it. Then, when you finish up, make sure everything is normal. Bring her home, and when she comes back to reality, tell her she got drunk and passed out. Hope she doesn't ask questions. If she was a virgin before, and isn't anymore, well buddy, I don't know what to say to you. But good luck.
Plotkin
Let's start with the dark alleyway scenario
You see a hot girl walking all by herself through a dark alley. Without a care in the world. Suddenly, you jump out and grab her. But gently. You introduce yourself to her, so it's not like you're a stranger. Once you're both acquainted, whip out your penis. Take out a condom, and put it on. They should make special "rape-condoms" that are like unbreakable. Just in case. So you guys go at it. If you're gonna go at it on the ground, bring like a blanket so she doesn't get too dirty. If you can, bust all over the ground, or her face, as long as it isn't in her. So the chances of pregnancy are lower. She'll thank you for it later. When you're done. Bring some soap or something so she can clean herself up. Once you're both cleaned up, she will probably thank you for being so considerate. Not only did you introduce yourself, but you tried to not get her pregnant, and helped her clean up after. If you were really good, she may even ask for your number. SCORE! If she was good, give it to her. But DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT hit her, unless she asks you to like cockslap her while youre going at it. Remember, she knows your name. And if you gave you her address, that too (even though I have no idea why you would do that, unless you took her home to have some nice voluntary sex).
The second scenario is the date rape.
You're with this girl on a date, but she won't let you have sex with her. So slip her some drugs. But to be considerate, give her enough to keep her fucked up the whole time. Then, she will be fucked up when you guys are going at it. Then, when you finish up, make sure everything is normal. Bring her home, and when she comes back to reality, tell her she got drunk and passed out. Hope she doesn't ask questions. If she was a virgin before, and isn't anymore, well buddy, I don't know what to say to you. But good luck.
Plotkin