another year
Wow. This year flew by. A bunch of new things happened. Really good things. Not so many bad.
Its strange to say that this year held many surprises. I met the love of my life. I don't see that changing. He makes me immensely happy. He is beautiful, not only mentally but physically, inside and out. He lifts me up and helped me discover who I am as a person and for that I am truly grateful. He inspires me to write again, and that was something I was scared I had lost. Everything I was writing was dark and depressing...I find myself once again writing uplifting and happy..poems if you must. I smile more, spend less time worrying about what I look like. Oh yeah, and the fact that he helped me discover the natural "gamer" within...haha who knew it. im a little game junkie myself. Jared is just the most amazing person I have ever come across. I even introduced him to my mom (for some reason were getting along now. Im not complaining. I rather enjoy it.) and my brother. Informed my cousin about how happy he makes me and how much he has caused the sun to shine down on me. Jared is just...awesome. With him I feel something I don't know I've honestly felt before. I feel at home. In his arms, caught in his gaze, his presence..smell...touch... (aww...i know)
hmm...ive come to a realization that you can only lose so much weight before realizing enough is enough. fuck the diet. dieting is out. real milk is in. (although im not throwing that diet soda thing away...the phenylaline is like..addicting. truthfully.) Ive learned a new appreciation for a certain substance that i used to think was the "devil". but it was worth trying, and not worth getting my boxers up in a twist over everytime I came around it. every now and then its great to let loose.
ive also realized i can semi dance. something to that effect. more confident in the way i look. feel more grown up. as i come closer to the age where i can get shit faced, i realize that you do feel older, even though you dont want to come terms with that. with age comes the responsibility that hey, you gotta grow up. but you also have to realize that if youve been grown your whole life, you need to let loose when you get older, or youll never have any fun.
ive held a job for the longest time with this much hatred for the stupidity of people that call in with the simplist of problems. but ive also discovered that patience is something you can condition yourself to learn. not everyone is embedded with that natural patience. but you can condition it in.
and as i ring in the new year in the arms (or something) of my love Jared, I look forward to 2005...I expect nothing but to go up.
"Even from the darkest you can see the light. And that light, no matter how far away, does exist. Proof, whether made up through psychological turmoil or actuality, is there. And that is where the last traces of hope can be the remnants of sanity's friend or foe."
2005 may be the year my literary talent may shine brighter than anything ive ever known before. and thats one thing im looking forward too.
OOOH and one last thing, as i leave the year with probably my last (or if i decide to post again, which i AM entitled to,) theres something else.
I signed up with gmail.
did you?
Its strange to say that this year held many surprises. I met the love of my life. I don't see that changing. He makes me immensely happy. He is beautiful, not only mentally but physically, inside and out. He lifts me up and helped me discover who I am as a person and for that I am truly grateful. He inspires me to write again, and that was something I was scared I had lost. Everything I was writing was dark and depressing...I find myself once again writing uplifting and happy..poems if you must. I smile more, spend less time worrying about what I look like. Oh yeah, and the fact that he helped me discover the natural "gamer" within...haha who knew it. im a little game junkie myself. Jared is just the most amazing person I have ever come across. I even introduced him to my mom (for some reason were getting along now. Im not complaining. I rather enjoy it.) and my brother. Informed my cousin about how happy he makes me and how much he has caused the sun to shine down on me. Jared is just...awesome. With him I feel something I don't know I've honestly felt before. I feel at home. In his arms, caught in his gaze, his presence..smell...touch... (aww...i know)
hmm...ive come to a realization that you can only lose so much weight before realizing enough is enough. fuck the diet. dieting is out. real milk is in. (although im not throwing that diet soda thing away...the phenylaline is like..addicting. truthfully.) Ive learned a new appreciation for a certain substance that i used to think was the "devil". but it was worth trying, and not worth getting my boxers up in a twist over everytime I came around it. every now and then its great to let loose.
ive also realized i can semi dance. something to that effect. more confident in the way i look. feel more grown up. as i come closer to the age where i can get shit faced, i realize that you do feel older, even though you dont want to come terms with that. with age comes the responsibility that hey, you gotta grow up. but you also have to realize that if youve been grown your whole life, you need to let loose when you get older, or youll never have any fun.
ive held a job for the longest time with this much hatred for the stupidity of people that call in with the simplist of problems. but ive also discovered that patience is something you can condition yourself to learn. not everyone is embedded with that natural patience. but you can condition it in.
and as i ring in the new year in the arms (or something) of my love Jared, I look forward to 2005...I expect nothing but to go up.
"Even from the darkest you can see the light. And that light, no matter how far away, does exist. Proof, whether made up through psychological turmoil or actuality, is there. And that is where the last traces of hope can be the remnants of sanity's friend or foe."
2005 may be the year my literary talent may shine brighter than anything ive ever known before. and thats one thing im looking forward too.
OOOH and one last thing, as i leave the year with probably my last (or if i decide to post again, which i AM entitled to,) theres something else.
I signed up with gmail.
did you?