Death-a-thon
Ok guys, I volunteered to do the death-a-thon challenge and I got Death to Xander by junk food. Well if you want to read it...you know what to do. LOL
Nine and a half tacos
Xander watched them, eagerly waiting his turn. He watched as Buffy checked the box for what felt like the millionth time. ‘Come on, come on, hurry up! ’ he wordlessly urged the pair.
He’d hated the idea at first, sure that Spike had to have an ulterior motive, but when Giles had approved of the plan and then Buffy had agreed too; well, he hadn’t much of a leg to stand on. It had been then that Xander had started to formulate his plans.
He knew that Buffy didn’t want him in that way, but his own desire for the blond was never very far from his thoughts. Xander had been hard pressed to keep this particular bit of knowledge from Anya. She may not be smart, but she could smell an act of betrayal a mile off.
But it wasn’t really betrayal, was it? You wouldn’t call it cheating if you used a vibrator, so why would be called betrayal if you used a robot? Xander easily convinced himself of his own innocence. Egypt was beautiful this time of year.
Xander watched as Spike descended the stairs to Warren’s basement laboratory. The thought that the bleached bane of his existence could have come up with the idea of having a decoy for Glory really pissed him off, Why couldn’t he come up with these cool ideas? Damned scene stealing bleached blond murderer guy!
Keeping his eyes glued to the object of his secret desires, Xander waited for the other blond to reappear. After what seemed like hours to the impatient brunette, Spike returned to Buffy’s side, sans box, and the two headed off in the direction of the Magic Box. It was time for Xander to make his move.
Making sure that the coast was clear, Xander headed toward the basement door. It was just a little extra addition to the programming, no one would ever know.
As the weeks slowly went by, Xander felt his anticipation grow. It didn’t hurt his relationship with Anya that she reaped the benefits of his burgeoning desires. When at last the robot Buffy finally arrived, he had to run home and change his underwear. He really hadn’t anticipated that reaction.
Later that evening, Xander suggested Anya spend some time with one of her demon friends, explaining that he felt he had been monopolising her attention and that that wasn’t fair to her. Overjoyed at spending some quality time with non-slayer related friends, Anya jumped at the chance.
Gathering together all the bits and pieces that he had secreted away during his weeks of waiting, Xander stealthily made his way to the training room of the Magic box.
When Xander arrived at the Magic Box, he decided to prepare the training room before he approached the Buffy Bot. Setting the mats out over a large area of the floor, made him tired and sweaty, so he took a quick break from the physical work. He sat down on one of the mats and started to unpack one of the bags he had brought with him.
“Whipped cream - check, chocolate syrup - check, cheese whiz - check, fruit rollups - check, Doritos - check, cherry flavoured body oil, huh? Oh, that must be Anya’s,” Xander muttered to himself as he worked.
When he finished placing his goodies strategically around the mat, he moved back to the job of setting out the mats. Once the last one was in place, Xander gleefully rubbed his hands together in anticipation and moved towards the deactivated bot.
With a deft flick of his hand Xander reactivated the Buffy Bot and stood back waiting.
Her eye’s flickered open and she recognised him immediately. “Hello Xander. You’re my friend, and a carpenter.”
“Tagh,” Xander correctly pronounced the Klingon word for beginning. Now he would find out if all that money he’d paid Warren was wasted or worth it.
The Buffy Bot’s eyes seemed to flutter at a speed in keeping with the wings of a hummingbird in motion. It was obvious that something was happening, and Xander started to bounce on his toes with excitement.
The bot’s eyes opened once more and she smiled. Again, she recognised him immediately. “Hello Xander. You’re my love God, and a sex machine.”
Oh yeah, this was gonna be sweet!.
“We’re gonna play a game, Buffy, but you need to be naked for it,” Xander explained to the enamoured robot.
Hurriedly, she removed her clothes, completely unconcerned with her nakedness as only the very confident or the very innocent can be.
Xander stared. He had never imagined that he would ever really get to see Buffy naked; he chose to push away the little voice that reminded him that this wasn’t actually Buffy, ‘cause it sure as hell looked like her.
“Shouldn’t you be naked too, Xander?” she asked innocently.
Removing his clothes like an adolescent boy getting ready to get lucky for the first time, Xander didn’t take long to join her state of undress. Flopping down on the mat and popping a fruit rollup into his mouth, he opened his arms to her, beckoning her to join him.
Straddling him, the bot put a hand to his chest and said, “I have been programmed for this game, Xander. Let me show you.”
Xander was too lost in his feelings of euphoria to speak at that point, but he allowed the bot to urge him onto his back. Reversing her body position so that she faced his feet, the bot reached down to his flaccid penis and squeezed.
Involuntarily gasping at the unexpected and excruciating pain of having his manhood locked in a vice grip, Xander was further assaulted by the fruit rollup that he had been chewing on. His gasp had sucked the candy down his throat where it became firmly lodged in his esophagus. Unable to breath and in unbelievable pain, Xander flopped around like a floundering fish.
The last thing that Xander heard as he slipped into unconsciousness was Buffy’s voice, “Oh yes, Xander, you are the studliest stud around.”
Death followed soon after.
Moral: Stick to spanking the monkey, ‘cause riding the bot can kill you.
Nine and a half tacos
Xander watched them, eagerly waiting his turn. He watched as Buffy checked the box for what felt like the millionth time. ‘Come on, come on, hurry up! ’ he wordlessly urged the pair.
He’d hated the idea at first, sure that Spike had to have an ulterior motive, but when Giles had approved of the plan and then Buffy had agreed too; well, he hadn’t much of a leg to stand on. It had been then that Xander had started to formulate his plans.
He knew that Buffy didn’t want him in that way, but his own desire for the blond was never very far from his thoughts. Xander had been hard pressed to keep this particular bit of knowledge from Anya. She may not be smart, but she could smell an act of betrayal a mile off.
But it wasn’t really betrayal, was it? You wouldn’t call it cheating if you used a vibrator, so why would be called betrayal if you used a robot? Xander easily convinced himself of his own innocence. Egypt was beautiful this time of year.
Xander watched as Spike descended the stairs to Warren’s basement laboratory. The thought that the bleached bane of his existence could have come up with the idea of having a decoy for Glory really pissed him off, Why couldn’t he come up with these cool ideas? Damned scene stealing bleached blond murderer guy!
Keeping his eyes glued to the object of his secret desires, Xander waited for the other blond to reappear. After what seemed like hours to the impatient brunette, Spike returned to Buffy’s side, sans box, and the two headed off in the direction of the Magic Box. It was time for Xander to make his move.
Making sure that the coast was clear, Xander headed toward the basement door. It was just a little extra addition to the programming, no one would ever know.
As the weeks slowly went by, Xander felt his anticipation grow. It didn’t hurt his relationship with Anya that she reaped the benefits of his burgeoning desires. When at last the robot Buffy finally arrived, he had to run home and change his underwear. He really hadn’t anticipated that reaction.
Later that evening, Xander suggested Anya spend some time with one of her demon friends, explaining that he felt he had been monopolising her attention and that that wasn’t fair to her. Overjoyed at spending some quality time with non-slayer related friends, Anya jumped at the chance.
Gathering together all the bits and pieces that he had secreted away during his weeks of waiting, Xander stealthily made his way to the training room of the Magic box.
When Xander arrived at the Magic Box, he decided to prepare the training room before he approached the Buffy Bot. Setting the mats out over a large area of the floor, made him tired and sweaty, so he took a quick break from the physical work. He sat down on one of the mats and started to unpack one of the bags he had brought with him.
“Whipped cream - check, chocolate syrup - check, cheese whiz - check, fruit rollups - check, Doritos - check, cherry flavoured body oil, huh? Oh, that must be Anya’s,” Xander muttered to himself as he worked.
When he finished placing his goodies strategically around the mat, he moved back to the job of setting out the mats. Once the last one was in place, Xander gleefully rubbed his hands together in anticipation and moved towards the deactivated bot.
With a deft flick of his hand Xander reactivated the Buffy Bot and stood back waiting.
Her eye’s flickered open and she recognised him immediately. “Hello Xander. You’re my friend, and a carpenter.”
“Tagh,” Xander correctly pronounced the Klingon word for beginning. Now he would find out if all that money he’d paid Warren was wasted or worth it.
The Buffy Bot’s eyes seemed to flutter at a speed in keeping with the wings of a hummingbird in motion. It was obvious that something was happening, and Xander started to bounce on his toes with excitement.
The bot’s eyes opened once more and she smiled. Again, she recognised him immediately. “Hello Xander. You’re my love God, and a sex machine.”
Oh yeah, this was gonna be sweet!.
“We’re gonna play a game, Buffy, but you need to be naked for it,” Xander explained to the enamoured robot.
Hurriedly, she removed her clothes, completely unconcerned with her nakedness as only the very confident or the very innocent can be.
Xander stared. He had never imagined that he would ever really get to see Buffy naked; he chose to push away the little voice that reminded him that this wasn’t actually Buffy, ‘cause it sure as hell looked like her.
“Shouldn’t you be naked too, Xander?” she asked innocently.
Removing his clothes like an adolescent boy getting ready to get lucky for the first time, Xander didn’t take long to join her state of undress. Flopping down on the mat and popping a fruit rollup into his mouth, he opened his arms to her, beckoning her to join him.
Straddling him, the bot put a hand to his chest and said, “I have been programmed for this game, Xander. Let me show you.”
Xander was too lost in his feelings of euphoria to speak at that point, but he allowed the bot to urge him onto his back. Reversing her body position so that she faced his feet, the bot reached down to his flaccid penis and squeezed.
Involuntarily gasping at the unexpected and excruciating pain of having his manhood locked in a vice grip, Xander was further assaulted by the fruit rollup that he had been chewing on. His gasp had sucked the candy down his throat where it became firmly lodged in his esophagus. Unable to breath and in unbelievable pain, Xander flopped around like a floundering fish.
The last thing that Xander heard as he slipped into unconsciousness was Buffy’s voice, “Oh yes, Xander, you are the studliest stud around.”
Death followed soon after.
Moral: Stick to spanking the monkey, ‘cause riding the bot can kill you.