dear right ankle
dear right ankle,
did you know you're my favorite ankle? much better than my left (earmuffs left ankle!) one. you're so adept at things such as: kicking balls (of all kinds), flushing the toilet in gross bar bathrooms, tapping to rhythm during my favorite concerts, and so on and so forth. if i lost a bet that made me lose a limb, you can rest assured that you'd be the second to last to go.
but alas, i'm so sorry for what happened today. it was my fault. i never meant to roll you while running, an honest mistake! it was hard trying to avoid traffic and keep pace at the same time. and due to the relative newness of my sneakers, my complete ineptitude (also, i was checking out a cute girl), and a plethora of other factors, i simply mis-stepped and landed on you funny.
will you please forgive me? i writhed in pain for at least 10 minutes rolling around on the grass, while people gave me funny looks. i had to do a shuffle dance, much to the amusement of coffeeshop sitters, just to get from my apartment to the neighborhood grocery store. and, tylenol apparently does not relieve your symptoms.
don't put this all on me though... i mean, you can stand to lose some pounds seeing as how you've progressively swollen from "walnut" to "grapefruit" sized (i'm not saying you're fat, but you're no angela kinsey), like benign prostatic hyperplasia. too bad i can't avodart my way back into your heart.
well anyway, i hope you read this by the time i wake up tomorrow morning. i have a busy week and i need you on my team.
hugs, kisses, and furry woodland creatures,
jack
did you know you're my favorite ankle? much better than my left (earmuffs left ankle!) one. you're so adept at things such as: kicking balls (of all kinds), flushing the toilet in gross bar bathrooms, tapping to rhythm during my favorite concerts, and so on and so forth. if i lost a bet that made me lose a limb, you can rest assured that you'd be the second to last to go.
but alas, i'm so sorry for what happened today. it was my fault. i never meant to roll you while running, an honest mistake! it was hard trying to avoid traffic and keep pace at the same time. and due to the relative newness of my sneakers, my complete ineptitude (also, i was checking out a cute girl), and a plethora of other factors, i simply mis-stepped and landed on you funny.
will you please forgive me? i writhed in pain for at least 10 minutes rolling around on the grass, while people gave me funny looks. i had to do a shuffle dance, much to the amusement of coffeeshop sitters, just to get from my apartment to the neighborhood grocery store. and, tylenol apparently does not relieve your symptoms.
don't put this all on me though... i mean, you can stand to lose some pounds seeing as how you've progressively swollen from "walnut" to "grapefruit" sized (i'm not saying you're fat, but you're no angela kinsey), like benign prostatic hyperplasia. too bad i can't avodart my way back into your heart.
well anyway, i hope you read this by the time i wake up tomorrow morning. i have a busy week and i need you on my team.
hugs, kisses, and furry woodland creatures,
jack