What have I done...
Why? Why can't I see what I'm doing. They can see them... they're living them. My brothers and sisters. They're living their convictions. I'm sure they don't go a day without seeing what they've done. Why can't I see it? Is this just that teenager phase? No... I can change it. I've gotta see it...
What about what I'm doing? What I've done. I'll admit it... I've smoked weed, I've drank. That won't... WON'T CHANGE THE FUTURE. Hell, I'm writing this drunk right now, in fact, shit's taking forever, since I suck at typing in this state. But... It feels great. I always like getting this way, either high or drunk, whenever I'm angry, or just depressed. I guess today was one of those depressing days, seeing as I met up with my 'rents today. But yeah, I'm drunk... and numb. I've always felt like this when I'm drunk. I could feel the numbing over as it sets in.
Yes, alcohol is a depressent. Only ONCE have I ever felt depressed while drinking though. It was the first time I drank with them... and the first time I drank vodka. I drank vodka again with them a few months after that and was fine. I dunno what the hell that depressing shit was about, but I know I'm a rather fun drunk, when I'm out with friends.
Fuck, I just hope I'm not an alcoholic.
My sister was.
WAS. She's doing great now...
God, I was with my parents today. I heard a child, maybe 2 years old. Reminded me of her. Of my niece, my sister's daughter. My sister was right, I would miss her. Dammit, she had to say I'd miss her. But...
But she has no father. I'll say it. I wouldn't unless I were in this state:
He shot himself. In the head, I'm guessing. My sister loved him. I don't know what he was thinking... maybe that he'd never see his daughter, or he would never see his love... my sister. I know she misses him.
I wish them all the best.
Dammit. I've gotta stop typing now.
Edit:
Fatherless.
What about what I'm doing? What I've done. I'll admit it... I've smoked weed, I've drank. That won't... WON'T CHANGE THE FUTURE. Hell, I'm writing this drunk right now, in fact, shit's taking forever, since I suck at typing in this state. But... It feels great. I always like getting this way, either high or drunk, whenever I'm angry, or just depressed. I guess today was one of those depressing days, seeing as I met up with my 'rents today. But yeah, I'm drunk... and numb. I've always felt like this when I'm drunk. I could feel the numbing over as it sets in.
Yes, alcohol is a depressent. Only ONCE have I ever felt depressed while drinking though. It was the first time I drank with them... and the first time I drank vodka. I drank vodka again with them a few months after that and was fine. I dunno what the hell that depressing shit was about, but I know I'm a rather fun drunk, when I'm out with friends.
Fuck, I just hope I'm not an alcoholic.
My sister was.
WAS. She's doing great now...
God, I was with my parents today. I heard a child, maybe 2 years old. Reminded me of her. Of my niece, my sister's daughter. My sister was right, I would miss her. Dammit, she had to say I'd miss her. But...
But she has no father. I'll say it. I wouldn't unless I were in this state:
He shot himself. In the head, I'm guessing. My sister loved him. I don't know what he was thinking... maybe that he'd never see his daughter, or he would never see his love... my sister. I know she misses him.
I wish them all the best.
Dammit. I've gotta stop typing now.
Edit:
Fatherless.