10th time is the charm
i am currently attempting to quit smoking again for like the 10th or so time. i am on day four. so far, i have only had one painful craving that made me want to scream and rip my hair out. in all the years that i have smoked, i NEVER thought i was really addicted. it's sick. i was always so sure it would take me 10 minutes to decide to quit and do it. i just started forcing nico to smoke outside and he gives me sass until i threaten to smoke a butt and he relents and stands in the doorway with his hand outstretched into the cold. heh. in this week's city paper, there is an article about the proposed ban on smoking in city establishments and for the first time in my life, i got excited about it. anyway, it'll prolly be in effect by this summer, which totally shocks me cuz philly is so fucking dirty and unhealthy that i'm surprised it occurred to anyone to even propose it here.
anyway, since i have quit (like four days ago, ha), i have a) eaten like 7 little cups of applesauce a day, b) made an appointment with the personal trainer for this evening so she can kick my ass, c) almost started sobbing when i was blowing bubbles with little kids in our playcare room and couldn't properly blow any myself while the 3 year old could, d)confessed to my doctor after lying to her for the last two years that i was a smoker, but telling her she didn't have to worry since i was quitting (and this is during an appointment for a yeast infection--she was kinda pissed that i lied, especially with that cervical cancer scare and all) and e) dreaming about blowpops, visualizing blowpops, craving blowpops, gimme some blowpops.
sigh. maybe this time folks. maybe this time. as long as holly doesn't come into town next weekend i think i can do it. then she's not coming until like the third week in february and by then i'll be fine. hopefully?
anyway, since i have quit (like four days ago, ha), i have a) eaten like 7 little cups of applesauce a day, b) made an appointment with the personal trainer for this evening so she can kick my ass, c) almost started sobbing when i was blowing bubbles with little kids in our playcare room and couldn't properly blow any myself while the 3 year old could, d)confessed to my doctor after lying to her for the last two years that i was a smoker, but telling her she didn't have to worry since i was quitting (and this is during an appointment for a yeast infection--she was kinda pissed that i lied, especially with that cervical cancer scare and all) and e) dreaming about blowpops, visualizing blowpops, craving blowpops, gimme some blowpops.
sigh. maybe this time folks. maybe this time. as long as holly doesn't come into town next weekend i think i can do it. then she's not coming until like the third week in february and by then i'll be fine. hopefully?