(no subject)
sometimes i think it might be getting better but then OH WAIT. haha, your so stupid Jackie, its not.
i feel like i get lied to all the time. and it sucks because i'm not lying about anything. but that doesn't matter, because apparently everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie.
i just want to feel better. i hate coming home, i want to run away, and i don't want to wake up tomorrow still feeling this way.
i hate being so jealous. i don't like sharing. i didn't used to have to share. but that is much much much different now.
i did good the past couple of days, i didn't cry. i need to learn how to avoid upsetting myself via myspace. i know that ignorance is bliss, but i'd rather know everything and be miserable then not know anything and have people think i'm clueless.
i have a list of people i hate. and quite valid reasons as to why i hate them. all girls with a certain thing/act in common.
i work myself up so much. i wanna go back to school so my mind isn't stuck in the same puddle all day and all night. and so i don't feel so neglected. its a much different story when i'm farther away. at least then i know its a matter of distance, not choice.
i act like everythings terrible. its not so bad, i just don't say anything for so long that it comes bursting out. i am happy for what i have, i guess i just know how much better it could be and only think about that.
if i had a penis would any of this be happening??