Eulogy for Kay Dormady
This was a eulogy I gave for My mother's freind Kay in November.
I am posting it here so that I don't lose track of it.
I know when I was a young girl, every time we went to a funeral for an older woman who never married, people would say how sad it was. “Oh, she was so lonely. Such a waste.” I’m sure those voices were even louder when Kay was younger.
Kay’s life proves that those people are just wrong. Her life was full. She did exactly what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. She was close to her sister, her brother and sister in law, her nephew, had lots of friends, a cat, friends’ cats, friends’ dogs, neighbors, their children and their animals and didn’t have to answer to any of them.
I’m sure she got lonely from time to time but, she had learned an important skill for dealing with that. When she was lonely, she would pick up the phone and call someone - often my mother - and ask them if they wanted to go shopping or out to dinner. If that person couldn’t go, she would shrug her shoulders and call someone else. Many of us tend to wallow in self-pity at those moments. I, for one, am really good at that and this is a lesson we can all learn from her.
She often came to my mother’s house for dinner and it was always great to have her there. My mother’s house is generally the center of activity for the whole neighborhood and there is always something going on - sometimes something funny, sometimes something dramatic, sometimes something very stressful and bad. Kay’s sense of humor always made the hard times a little bit easier. I remember quite a few evenings - [here I would have added anecdotes but, my mother made me drop them to protect the guilty] - where I was deeply grateful for her presence.
Mom’s dog George was also grateful for Kay’s presence and her generosity. Since Kay went into the hospital, our little George has lost 5 pounds. He loved her very much.
People also tend to have strong opinions about people who die before they have retired. “It’s so tragic. She never had time to enjoy herself.” This is also quite silly when applied to Kay who could have retired any time she wanted but, she loved her job. She loved the people she saw everyday at AAA Labor, the office cat, but, mostly, she loved building something with her nephew, Brian.
She loved working. Kay even worked when she didn’t have to. I work for a child care program and my mother and brothers usually fold and stuff the bills that we send out each month. Kay could always be talked into helping - especially when they bribed her with roast beef or pasta.
And I would just like to say if you can hear me, Kay, thank you so much for being a part of our lives. We love you and we will miss you very much.
I am posting it here so that I don't lose track of it.
I know when I was a young girl, every time we went to a funeral for an older woman who never married, people would say how sad it was. “Oh, she was so lonely. Such a waste.” I’m sure those voices were even louder when Kay was younger.
Kay’s life proves that those people are just wrong. Her life was full. She did exactly what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. She was close to her sister, her brother and sister in law, her nephew, had lots of friends, a cat, friends’ cats, friends’ dogs, neighbors, their children and their animals and didn’t have to answer to any of them.
I’m sure she got lonely from time to time but, she had learned an important skill for dealing with that. When she was lonely, she would pick up the phone and call someone - often my mother - and ask them if they wanted to go shopping or out to dinner. If that person couldn’t go, she would shrug her shoulders and call someone else. Many of us tend to wallow in self-pity at those moments. I, for one, am really good at that and this is a lesson we can all learn from her.
She often came to my mother’s house for dinner and it was always great to have her there. My mother’s house is generally the center of activity for the whole neighborhood and there is always something going on - sometimes something funny, sometimes something dramatic, sometimes something very stressful and bad. Kay’s sense of humor always made the hard times a little bit easier. I remember quite a few evenings - [here I would have added anecdotes but, my mother made me drop them to protect the guilty] - where I was deeply grateful for her presence.
Mom’s dog George was also grateful for Kay’s presence and her generosity. Since Kay went into the hospital, our little George has lost 5 pounds. He loved her very much.
People also tend to have strong opinions about people who die before they have retired. “It’s so tragic. She never had time to enjoy herself.” This is also quite silly when applied to Kay who could have retired any time she wanted but, she loved her job. She loved the people she saw everyday at AAA Labor, the office cat, but, mostly, she loved building something with her nephew, Brian.
She loved working. Kay even worked when she didn’t have to. I work for a child care program and my mother and brothers usually fold and stuff the bills that we send out each month. Kay could always be talked into helping - especially when they bribed her with roast beef or pasta.
And I would just like to say if you can hear me, Kay, thank you so much for being a part of our lives. We love you and we will miss you very much.