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Today is Joey's birthday party. I invited Kori and her husband, Nathan over. Which means I will have to clean. Argh. I hate cleaning but it will be good to clean up a bit. I have also been doing some spring cleaning in my life as well. I have made the resolution to stop talking to people whom treat me like garbage, or the people who's loyalties can not be trusted. Unfortunatly, this list includes some of my once dear friends. It has taken me a long time to get to this point but I now have the understanding that I can not constantly be holding onto friendships that are not worth holding onto or holding onto causes me suffering. In Buddhism, this state of mind is refered to as the Trishna. Although the world is not easily translated to in English, it is meaning holding on, the clinging, I can no longer cling to these two people. They are not to be trusted at this point in time in my life. I need positive influences, positive people in my life and this 'group' if you will is dragging me down. I have sat for days pondering this, if maybe I was being irrational. However, when consulting the positive influences in my life, it was made clear to me that I was not being irrational and that these two people are not good for me. I deserve loyal and honest friends. I deserve to have friends whom are not snakes and are not disrespectful to me. Peraphs, these people in the seperation of our friendships will understand that they lack loyalties and respect that true friends need. I am in a very moderate state of mind right now, I am strong enough to continue on my own however weak in the sense of accomplishment. I need people who make me feel accomplished and feel good about myself. Why, you may ask because this is what friends do for eachother. Although, there will be no rash decisions, no myspace drama, their phone calls will be ignored. There messages will be read but not responded too, along with their comments until I am strong enough to deal with these indivuals.Until, I AM ready to say what I need to say to clear the air with these two people. Garabage goes out in the trash but maybe someone who is more responsive will pick them up and give them a happy home. Until then, I am thankful for my new set of friends, who are making me strong. Your patience, time and effort will be rewarded in due time.